I need help, I will try to be brief in my post. I met a girl in my speech class earlier this semester, and she and I hung out a while, she is married. Her husband doesn't meet her needs, she approaches him about her problems with the marriage and he always says they are her fault and then laughs in her face or leaves the room. At first I just wanted to be support, but then we both fell in love. I hate the fact I'm part of an affair, but I feel such a bond with her and it pains me to see her torn. She doesn't want to leave me, and she isn't happy with the marriage. He wont even go to counseling with her. There is much more, and if anyone could please help us with advice email me through the forum. We need help soon, very soon. Please help us, we're both torn to pieces.

I feel like i want her to save the marriage and be happy, but at the same time I want her to leave him and be mine. I dont understand how he could ignore her and yell at her and never want to solve the situation. It seems odd because we had sex a couple times, and we still cuddle, we cuddle more than have sex, which is expected, but still. I want to know if its going anywhere, she told me she loved me. PLEASE HELP

I'm probably not the one to give this advice but it's my point of view so take it for what it's worth.

There is obviously some attraction between you and her. You and her THINK you are in love because of that attraction. How much do you really know about her? How much does she really know about you? Do you know about her family? Does she know about your family? How does she deal with problems? How does she act when she's in love? Is it really love you're both feeling or is it just a need being met?

If you look at the problem she's going thru, do you think she's properly giving her marriage a chance to be repaired? Seems to me that she's looking to you to fulfill the needs that her husband can't provide. She's "in love" with you for providing that. Wouldn't you be if you were married and your wife couldn't provide that for you and some other woman could?

So let's say she gets a divorce and you and her hit it off and get married. How are you going to feel about her? Will you be nervous when she starts working more overtime than usual? Will you be suspicious if she doesn't act the way she usually does?

If you really care for her, you'd back off COMPLETELY and let her have her space. Tell her to get some resolution with her marriage problems and if things don't work out AND it ends up in divorce, then you can continue the relationship. The only thing you're doing now is contributing to breaking their marriage apart. Even the love that you both feel is a false sense of goodness.

That sounds kinda fishy to me. If he is so bad and won't work on their marriage, why doesn't she leave him? If she really wanted the marriage to work she wouldn't be having an affair. I think she wants to have her cake and eat it too.

Run away, run away, run away....

Hello,
about a year and a half ago I was in your shoes somewhat... thought I had fallen in love with a man whom I later (unlike you) discovered was married. The point here is that these two poeple who are married were united by devine intervention, they are bonded, they had taken vows to be together in the good and the bad. I believe it's not right for you to be in a relationship with this married woman just as it was not right for me to be in one back then.

I pray for you to have the courage to do what is right.

Peace,
Odyssey