I have so much built up resentment toward my mother in law..and I do not know what to do. She lives 4 miles away,and I am sick of being "fake"
It started when we purchased our home, she told us she would buy a washing machine as our housewarming gift, never happened. The next summer, told us she would buy us a patio set for our housewarming gift..never happened. I dismissed this, because her husband (myfather in law) helped us out alot in the move, etc. My husband and I purchased our home two years before getting hitched, and things were fine until the wedding..ugh. My family lives 2500 miles away, and he has a huge family (90% of which they hate, talk about behind their backs, but feel "obligated" to invite to functions) Since the mother in law gave me a list of 175 people to invite to our 250 guest wedding, I felt that she should help with the cost. She agreed, and we split the bill in thirds, 1/3 i paid 1/3 my mom paid, and 1/3 the mother in law was spossed to pay. She never did. Never mentioned it, just as she did not mention anything with the washer, and patio set. I am so deeply upset at her, but cannot express it, because my husband thinks that it will just "stir the pot" that is how his mom is, and just leave it at that. Now, EVERYTHING she does makes me so mad. I am seeing so far past the "nice mother in law" that I once thought I knew. She makes me feel obligated to go to family functions of people I dont even know. My husband and I skipped Thanksgiving because we wanted to have our own thanksgiving as newlyweds, she neglected to tell the host, and called at 7pm wondering where we were, why we were not there..and made the rest of the family think that we just flaked out on them. I am going home to visit my family for easter, and since I had easter at my house ONCE, she said " so, are you going to have easter at your house next year, because I dont want people to go somewhere else for easter, and start new traditions" ANd on top of that..and the one Easter party I hosted, she had the audacity (sp?) to tell me that the "way they do it here" is to have brunch, and my idea of Easter dinner was nixed.
To add even more, she stops by our house unexpected alot. I feel paranoid to be intimate with my HUSBAND, since she just might "pop in " without knocking, well,,she does yell "hello" as she opens the front door. We have recently done work on our house, and she called to see if I was going to be home today, because she wanted to stop by to drop something off. (She actually called!) BUT, whenI told her that my husband and I were not going to be there, she said "Okay, well I will stop by and drop it off" I KNEW she was just being nosy, and wanted to see the finished house, but I do not want her snooping around my house! I wrote a note to my husband (I was getting home late) that said how much I love him, things that I do not want my mother in law reading. This was on the countertop,and I know she read it. She drives me nuts, and I cant keep calling my mom to complain because she is so far away, and she is sick of hearing me complain. I feel like I dont have the guts to say anything, and would jumble my words, if I did confront her..oh yeah,,,she is VERY easily offended. UGH...help!!
