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#60351 07/16/98 10:31 PM
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 4
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Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 4
The last two years I've felt like all the love for my wife ran out.
<br> After years of nagging/complaining/demanding I can't find much left to
<br> continue the marriage. I have always helped out around the house like
<br> cleaning, cooking, laundry and have taken on a few other things to try
<br> and help things out on top of the "normal" house maint. and yard work.
<br> I drive for a living and am home three days a week and wife works
<br> Mon-Thurs at her own office. I also take care of the kids on the
<br> weekdays I'm home. When I try to spend more time with the house maint.
<br> and yard work she complains about things not getting done inside the
<br> house. When I try to spend time with the kids and get stuff done inside
<br> the house she complains about the yard work not getting done among all
<br> the other home improvement things. I even hired a cleaning lady a few
<br> months ago for the detailed cleaning to try and take some relief off of
<br> both of us and she complains that she has to prepare the house prior to
<br> when the cleaning lady comes. I go to work a day early so I try to have
<br> the kids help pickup their rooms while I get the house picked up, but
<br> it's never good enough for the wife.
<br> It's sad but I didn't realize how UNhappy I was until I met this other
<br> female from one of the stores I deliver to. There is nothing sexual or
<br> otherwise going on but everything seems to click and then I feel more
<br> hurt because of what is going on at home.
<br> My wife about flipped out when she said she was going to leave and I
<br> didn't show any concern.
<br> All the "cards" are out on the table now and she has taken no
<br> consideration into seeing a gynecologist for a hormone problem. She
<br> says she will not go on a prescription (drug) to alter her mood swings.
<br> When we agreed upon seeing a counselor I found a good site on marriage
<br> building, etc. When we went to her office to print these pages she sat
<br> there complaining/nagging about how long it was taking. I printed two
<br> copies of these questionnaires for each of us to fill out and compare. I
<br> told her that her homework was on the table for her to do before I left
<br> for work. This last weekend, I delivered 30k lbs. on my first day of my
<br> two day route, I had been up about 21 hours straight and filled out
<br> both questionnaires and then passed out. When I came home from work I
<br> was really hoping that those papers had been filled out so we could
<br> compare and try and see if there was anything left to work on. I got
<br> home and those questionnaires were still blank and sitting there on the table
<br> right where I had left them. Am I crazy if I confide in her and
<br> suggest we work out an agreement to end this thing we call a marriage??
<br> I don't want to live the rest of my life like this.
<br> Thanks

#60352 07/16/98 11:39 PM
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 305
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Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 305
boxmover,
<br>Only you can know if it is time to call it quits. One things you might want to be sure of is that you have done all that you can to make it work or you will always ask yourself if there was something more you could have done. Sometimes though we must also realize that some people will never be happy no matter what we do for them or how easy we try to make life for them. Luckily for me my husband got help but it sounds like your wife is unwilling. I would suggest trying to get her to go to some counseling. If she won't go then the decision is yours. Good Luck!
<p>Steph

#60353 09/08/98 11:49 PM
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 27
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Posts: 27
Wow! You sound like such a great guy. I am really sorry that your wife is so unappreciative! My husband won't lift a finger at home to help me or the kids. I have a guy friend who has a wife like yours. He is at his wits end with her often. But, I have to tell you that sometimes when men think women are complaining and nagging they are just expressing how they feel. Read "men are from mars..."! I guess all you can do is pray that her heart will be softened and try not to take it too personally! Good luck!!


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