My 10 year anniversary is in a month and I am definatley in withdrawl. For over a year I have been unhappy with a man I once loved, He has now knowledge of intimacy. I've know this for years, and thought I could live with it. His parents were never intimate (hugging, kissing, holding hands) and I guess he never learned. Yes, we have sex, but that isn't fulfilling. For the last year we have had other conflicts, money, domestic. He is self employed, and runs this marriage like a business. Today we talked and just when I thought he was getting it, he went right back to business mode. He knows he can't be intimate, but I don't have the answers. And I am tired of looking for them . I just don't have the energy anymore. I just want to feel loved. Help.

Is your husband aware of your unhappiness? Have each of you read the 8 sections of the Basic Concepts in this Web Page. I discovered this website and printed up the concepts and two emotional needs questionnaires and introduced them to my husband after having a major disagreement and not speaking for several days (we were in withdrawal). I found my husband too just wasn't "getting it".We also ordered the tape His Needs, Her Needs and have listened to it together and now are discussing each of our results from the emotional questionnaire. This seems to be helping, at least I have hope again. Perhaps this might help? Good luck. Renee

What do you do when he wont even TALK about it? I've tried talking to him, expressed what my feelings are, my needs etc. but he doesn't even talk about it- he'll say "I've nothing to say" making me feel even worse because then I feel that whatever I said to him has not made a bit of difference, that he didn't even feel compelled to say anything to make me feel better. I've tried using words like "you make me feel like such and such" rather than laying blame and he'd say "of course, I don't" as if he knows better how he makes me feel. We have a huge communication gap and I just don't know how to get him to talk.
<p>His family are like your husband's-no emotion whatsoever and would easily cut him off without a seconds thought but I feel he always misses that closeness that I share with my family, for example, so why doesn't he practice it with a wife who dearly loves him and a child who anxiously waits for her Dad to play with her.
<p>He doesn't respond to my efforts to put the emotion back into our marriage and neither makes efforts on his own...I don't know what to do.