Ok. I need help with this one. I am a newlywed, second time for both of us and each with kids.<BR>I'll try and keep this brief. I come home from work with my daughter and my w is home and her x husband is there in the house. Her kids are there. I walk in and they are chit-chatting. I was becoming very agitated. I saw no reason for him to be there. You see I was all excited about coming home to my family only to find "Mr drop by just to see the kids" there. This is not a first time for this and w and I have talked about it. So after a few minutes my w says, Oh I forgot the kids(hers) have a doctors appt. and we(her and x) have to have a consultation with doctor. So, my w, her x and the kids walk out the door, they load into his vehicle and take off for 2 hours for a family trip to the doctors. I stood at the window in utter disbelief. My daughter looked at me with the same look. I felt betrayed, very disrespected and hurt. I don't think this is normal or healthy for everyone.(reunion fantasy for kids) Meeting at the appt. would have been normal. So w knows I'm upset but has not said a word. I'm, for the most part, withdrawn. Am I crazy? I have never in all my years had a girlfriend or a wife be so chummy with an x-lover. Help!

Dear Chris,<P>The first thing you need to realize is that your wife's X is not just a past lover. He is the father of her children. He will be in the picture through out your marriage. Now, that being said you have valid concerns about how this relationship between your wife and her X. I also sense that you are felling a bit threatened by that relarionship. For that reason the way you have been communicating your concerns may have come across in a way that you didn't intend. It would be profitable for you to read all you can on this web site about avoiding "love busting" and especially the Policy of Joint Agreement (POJA). Go to the Marriage Builders home page and click on the "Basic Concepts" link. <P>Mud <><