I know that many of you have heard the same story but here it goes. We have been married for 6.5 years. I am 40, my wife is 31. Throughout our marriage, I returned to college to complete my undergraduate and graduate degrees in hopes of making a better life for the both of us. My wife never attended college and I am not sure that she understands the commitment it took to work full-time and carry a full-time schedule in school, however, we both agreed to see it through.<P>We have had our ups and downs throughout marriage but nothing overwhelming. Almost two years ago, I completed my masters and to enable me to break into my new career, I was required to complete an administrative residency at a health system about two hours from my home. I stayed with her parents during the week and came home on the weekends. During that time, my wife went through withdrawal for about 5 months, would not have physical or emotional contact with me during that time. She also was having telephone conversations with an old boyfriend from high school. She claims that there was no physical contact.<P>Eventually, after much convincing, I was able to talk her into reconciling. A couple of months later, I obtained a permanent position with the health system I did my residency at and we moved to a new home. This area is where she grew up and I thought she would be happy here. Unfortunately, she became depressed because she left a job and friends that she loved.<P>Since moving here, my wife has gone into withdrawal again, only this time she says she is not angry. She tells me that she is not "in love" with me and that she wants a separation and ultimately a divorce. She says that she has not been happy since the beginning of our relationship and that she knew from the time we had a premarriage conference with the minister that it "wasn't right". She has dug her heels in this time and refuses to reason. I thought that counselling would help, so we went. The counsellor initially met with us both and then individually. She told my wife that she needed to do what would make her happy and if that was to leave me then do so. She has also been out with her girlfriend to bars and has come home with several business cards from men. I have also found out she has been having cell phone communications with a male friend from her previous work which she says is completely platonic.<P>Am I being a complete fool for wanting to work on this marriage? I told her that I loved her and wanted to work on the marriage. She says that she is "over it" and no longer has her heart in the relationship. She is no longer in love with me but still loves me.<P>I am a total wreck over this situation and have been virtually useless at work for the last two weeks. I need help with this situation. Is there any hope for this relationship to work or am I doomed to be a statistic? I love her very much and all I know to do at this point is to turn it over to God. Any advice would be extremely helpful. Thanks.
