I can't seem to get any point of contention across to my husband. From how I feel about a topic of importance to money. He seemed to listen in earnest in the early stages of our marriage yet now when I attempt to explain anything he picks every word apart, or stomps away. He gets sarcastic and says he "needs to put his foot down". He thinks I run the house. Well I have to, he refuses to do anything including becoming involed in finances, never checks on car maintenace, house maintenance and told me in the beginning he wasn't good with money. When I tell him no we can't afford to buy something he becomes upset. I wrote an earlier topic regarding his sarcasm and that is part of the issue. Now when I told him "no" my stepson could not have my credit card number to bid on something on ebay he became upset. I explained that his son and his wife are still bailing himself out of bank issues and back bills, he doesn't need a laptop and I will not be dragged into his spending money on something that he can't afford and I will not pay interest on. My stepson then said he will work out the interst with us. I again said no, we already footed the bill for thousands of dollars due to this boy and his sister totalling my car when drunk and I just got it paid off. I can not control what they do I can control what I do. He stomped out. How do I resolve this and negotiate my position so he knows I am not the wicked stepmother. When I tried he just kept saying that if I continued he would leave, yet he kept saying, "I can't even help my kid". So I kept defending my position. He left. My contention was that this was not helping him. My sons take care of themselves. Seldom ask for much and are responsible, his children unfortunately do not. They are all alcoholics and have major issues. I know my husband feels embarrassed about this but how do I stay uninvolved when things like this come up? Last year my stepson had the nerve to ask to use our rv. It is old but nice. I said no. Heck I wouldn't even let my own kids use it. And not someone who totaled my car. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Cindy,
Wow!!! I don't blame you. Keep them boundaries up!!! Your doing a great job, even though thier going to be angry. Let you husband know that your finances are important, and boundaries have to be put up. Try to talk to him in a calm way.
Your husband may be very codependent, in that he feels he need to take care of the alcoholic children. And the kids try to make him feel guilty if he doesn't give into thier every whim. There is a great site at www.codependency.net/.
I also had a 15 yr old girl take our car while we
were gone on our honeymoon. We had a rental car at the time. Well she stole the keys out of my purse before we left. She ended up wrecking it in another city nearby with a bunch of friends and she was on drugs at the time. We took her to court. She was ordered to drug and alcohol treatment, fined, and restitution.

Keep standing strong!!!

Sent with Love, --ladysheep