My wife and I have been married for 3 yrs now. I knew before we got married that she liked animals alot. At that time she had 2 dogs and 2 cats in a small 2 br apt. I could not help but notice that one of her dogs, a minature daschund, destroyed several areas of her carpet by chewing and scratching, plus soiling with urine, and feces. This breed of dog is very difficult to house train. After we were married we moved into a single wide mobile home on a couple acres of land. The mobile home was in like new condition when we moved in. We currently have 4 dogs and 4 cats. All of these have been brought into the household by my wife. I am the only one that works. Its a financial strain on me and my wife says its not. I also do not like the fact that the animals have worn out the carpet in the short time we have lived in the mobile home. I am always having to put up with contantly stepping on wet spots on the carpet because the dogs dont always hold their urine before before being let out to do their business. We also dont have a fenced yard and sometimes the next door neighbor gets mad when our animals stray into their yard. I am afraid we might get sued if one of our dogs, heaven for bid bites one of their kids. When I voice my concern to my wife about this she just ignores me. Also I feel 4 dogs and 4 cats are just too many animals for a single wide mobile home. I have to sleep in the spare br because 3 of the dogs want to sleep with us and they wake me up at night when they move around. I work 12 hr shifts so i need my sleep. It does not seem to matter to my wife because she likes having the dogs in the bed and it does not bother her. I am really upset at this situation because I feel I am the sole bread winner and I deserve to have some rights in the place that I live. My wife is also a smoker and will not smoke outside, even when I tell her that I am afraid of breathing in 2nd hand smoke. But that is another matter. I just dont know what to do because complaining about it does not seem to do any good.

I would also like to add that in the 3 yrs that we have lived in our mobile home my wife has gone through 15 dogs and 10 cats. She has only worked a total of 3 mos. This is not fair of her to put that financial liability on me. I pay child support for my bio daughter. I would like to pay beyond my monthly child support but its difficult when your not getting any help with the finances. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

<small>[ March 16, 2005, 08:24 AM: Message edited by: GCF ]</small>

You will have to draw some firm boundaries, and see if there's a way to negotiate a peaceful resolution.

One option is to take back control of the finances. Since you're the breadwinner, put the money in a separate account, and only put enough in the joint account for bare necessities.

I don't suggest it for the long term, but it may help in bringing about negotiation, in that your W may finally see that you view the situation as serious.

Your health concerns as well are reasonable. Your W's refusal to communicate about it is not.

Your post caught my eye.

My fiance ended a 17 year marriage because of animals as well. He, however, did not know about her "addiction" before they married. As time went by, she adopted or bought, without conferring with him first, 17 animals. So for about 4 years, they had 17 animals in one house. They did have a fenced in yard, but these were ALL inside animals. She had at one time, 8 dogs, 7 cats, and two rabbits.

Both of them worked but on different shifts. He would pick up the poop and clean up the pee while she was at work but when he went to work, she just let them use the bathroom anywhere in the house and would leave it for him to clean up when he got home from work.

She never house broke any of the animals.

They had purchased a brand new home but as you well know, it doesn't take pets that long to destroy it.

He had also bought her a brand new fully loaded Maxima with leather interior. That also did not take long to destroy, especially with those sharp little claws.

The dogs included, TWO German Shepherds, a westie (West Highland Terrier), a Rat Terrier, a shnauzer, and 3 more medium sized dogs that I can't recall.

One of the german shepherds was female and VERY aggressive towards him. His wife allowed her to start sleeping in the bed thus kicking him out of his own bed.

He said he'd come home from work, draggin butt and usually step in dog crap and a pee puddle when he walked in. He'd spend about 30 minutes cleaning up after the animals. He'd take a shower and go to crawl into bed, only to have a snarling, growling large animal in his spot, that would NOT move and would NOT allow him into bed. So he started sleeping on the couch.

To be able to pay for these animals and their upkeep, vet bills ain't cheap, he started working extra jobs. His work week averaged well over 80 hours.

He said it just started getting to him. Working all the time and coming home to a house that reaked of cat urine. He started feeling sick as well. He went to his doctor and his doctor told him that living in a house like that is not healthy.

Inhaling the cat urine odor is extremely bad for your respiratory system as well as the animals'. I believe it's because of the high concentration of ammonia in it.

He said his breaking point was when she said she needed a new house because this well was all tore up. He said he bought her a perfectly brand new house and lookk what she did to it.

By the way, even though she did work, she viewed her paycheck and HER spending/shopping money. She did not contribute to the bills or anything. She also managed to get him $30,000 in debt because she spent his money as well. He climbed out of debt eventually.

They had gone to two different marriage counselors who also agreed that there was no need for that many animals.

He finally gave her the ultimatum. Either the animals or him.

She told him she wasn't getting rid of the animals. When he threatened to get rid of them, she told him, "I wouldnt do that if I were you. You do have to go to sleep sometime." Basically threatening him if he got rid of the animals.

So he left. Told her she had 6 months to clean up the house and find homes for all but 2 of the dogs.

She told her co-workers and friends that he would never leave her so she didn't have to make any compromises.

They were divorced on May of 2002, so I guess she didn't know him that well after all.

At the time of their divorce, he was another $20,000 in debt due to her "spending" habits.

He gave up all the equity in the house, the car, and took nothing but his clothes AND her credit debt, just so he could live a normal healthy life.

After being away from her for 6 months, he went in for a check up with his doctor who told him he looked much better.

So my advice to you, put your foot down now. Because apparently 2 dogs became 4 and 2 cats became 4. 8 animals are too much for any family.

And what happens if ya'll buy a house? She will adopt more.

I can't give you any advice really except for what Ive already said.

But my fiance left a 17 year marriage over animals.

I am the animal lover. Husband hates them. But, I can give you hope. I have grown tired of them over our marriage and now don't want anymore. I love my animals, but when these die of old age. That's it! I am tired of the upkeep and I would rather put my $$$ into our son's college fund.

I love animals, we have 1 dog, 1 cat, loads of fish, turtles, 2 horses and a stray who lives on our back porch. Part of being a good pet owner is being responsible, not only are conditions like these horrible for humans they are also horrible for animals. Pets in a way are not trained humans around them are trained. Dogs will urinate/deficate within 15 minutes after eating all you have to do is walk your pet after eating and you will cut down on these "accidents" significantly. There is no excuse for these conditions thats dehumanizing to you and to her. Its sounds like she is just lazy. Being a real animal lover means that you care enough to make sure that there living conditions are clean too. I am a smoker (not proud of it) but I don't want to endanger my babies so I do it outside. She needs to make some decisions about how she wants to live and you need to make some about what you are going to put up with. I will say a prayer for you and for her, maybe this is the way she grew up and just doesn't understand how other people view it. Good Luck and God Bless.


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OH MY Goodness- Shirley Temple

What does she do all day?

Is there a way you can get her evalutated by a mental health professional? I think she may have signs of depression and hoarding. It sounds like she keeps feeling like the next animal will somehow fix things for her, but she just sinks further down without taking a real interest in caring for them.

Dobie

Just noticed the original posting date on this and suspect he's long gone.

Dobie