i beleive it is a good thing to live together before marriage would you buy a car without a test drive i mean unlike a car your planning to keep this forever this is my second marriage if i would have lived with my first wife before marriage i would have never got married i lived with my present wife for over 2 years and it is alot better i knew what i was getting into before i got married the first wife was a good person untill i realy got to know her for a couple years now my present wifeis what i expected when i put the ring on her finger we have probs but nothing we cant work threw so i must say its a good idea

geo, do you think its possible that you learned from the failure of your first marriage and have learned to meet the needs of your second wife (and she yours) that resulted in more success, not necessarily living together?

never mind<p>[This message has been edited by geo.]

I agree that living together before marriage is good for SOME people. From experience, I'd recommend it to young, engaged couples. I lived with someone for 3 years and I'm glad I did because I learned how to compromise, share, and trust. It also helped me realize what love truly is. I think love can be confused for admiration, lust, and friendship. When you live with someone you learn and hopefully realize if you truly love that person before you marry him/her. Living with my fiancee before we married saved me from a loveless, unfulfilling marriage. After 3 years I finally realized what I needed to be happy, so I left him. I'm now happily married to a man that shares my beliefs, morals, and goals. And yes, we lived together after we were engaged and married shortly after.

I've been living with my boyfriend for a year and 2 months and I don't know if it's a good thing or not. I want to have a happy marriage with "him" and he says he wants the same thing with me(in a couple years). We fight everyday and we can't get anything solved. I want us to last, but being together every day might just be our breaking point right now. I have a house I share with a roommate,but whenever I go home, he gets real jealous and mad at me. I stay at his house(while paying rent on mine) just to avoid his attitude. I've told him if he doesn't want me to live at my house, then we have to get a place together. It took him a month to say OK to getting a place together. I haven't stayed at my house in 3 months,and we still don't have a place together. Even then it was only one night. I've had that house for 6 months and I'm still paying rent. He says we fight all the time because we're around each other all the time, so I offer to stay at my house so we could see if that helps and he gets pissed at me!!!!! What do I do? I'm so confused!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lyssa,
<p>Question: Is your roomate male of female?
<br>Question: Why would you want to marry someone with whom you constantly fight with?
<br>Question: (and this is a hard one) Do you REALLY love this guy? or has he became a 'habit'?
<br>I know that question may be a bit harsh...and hard to answer, but I have been in your shoes, and then someone asked me that same question. The guy I was with was a real jerk when I stood back and took a good look at him. We fought all the time, and he was mentally abusive, and yet I was determined to marry him, because I 'loved' him. But when my best friend asked me the question I just asked you, I realized that I was 'addicted' to him. I liked having a warm body next to me at night and someone to call my own. Well, I dumped him, and now I am in a happy marriage, for the most part, all couples have their ups and downs.
<br>So, think about it, and know that if you are unhappy living together, putting that wedding band on your finger isnt going to change a thing.
<br>Good luck to you