My fiance and I have been engaged for a little over nine months. We have our entire wedding almost completely planned. We have read books and gone to seminars about marriage to make sure we are prepared. We are completely committed to one another and can't wait to get married! Our wedding is planned for May, only nine more months to go!<BR> We had not planned on living together before our wedding day, but circumstances are directing us that way. My fiance is getting transferred to my area next month. We went looking for apartments for just him, but all we can find are 2 bedroom apartments-which is what we planed on getting after we got married. At the same time, my rent is being raised and my landlord is a terrible lanlord. My current rent is over $700 and my fiance's new rent would be over $700 if he got his own place, and over $800 if he got a 2 bedroom place. We are paying for the majority of our wedding ourselves and the money we could save by living together a little early would really help (I figured it out—we'd be saving at least $5000 just in the next nine months). We've spoken to our parents and although they would rather we wait, they understand. We still have to speak to our minister about it.<BR> Do you think we should continue to go into debt and live separately, leaving both of us to break a lease after the wedding? Or do you think we should go ahead and move in together now, since we are completely committed to becoming married and have only a few months left to go?<BR> Our first priority is having a healthy, happy, successful marriage.<BR>

My first ? is: are you guys sexually active? I don't know how much difference it makes, but for some reason, I feel that if you aren't, you could concievably work it out living together, without overstepping yourselves, if you had separate bedrooms until the wedding. If you are sexually active, I truly wouldn't advise the living together thing. . . if you want more, let me know!

First off, Congrats on your upcoming wedding. What day is your wedding? Ours is May 18th.<P>We are living together right now and have been for a year. I've been under a lot of stress because of it, from my family memebers. We also moved in together for the same reasons as you and your FH. Because of the fiances were bad and it was hard paying on a mortgage and apartment rent. We are saving so much money now living together and combining our income. Enough about me...<P>My suggestion is talk with your minister/pastor and ask them for advice and pray about this. If you aren't sexually active, you might be able to get a way with living in separate bedrooms but if you are then it will be very hard.<P>I know I've been struggling a lot with this in my chirstian walk and feeling very guility for having sex before marriage and confessing my sins. We seldom have sex, but we are going to seek pre-maritial counseling and I'm going to question my pastor about this and see if there is a way we can wait and see if my FH is willing to wait 9 months. I know I can wait 9 months in order for God to be happy with my living conditions. We just recently bought a house a year ago and joined a new church and it has been very hard for both of us. But mainly very hard for me.<P>I don't want to lead you the wrong way because I know the way I'm living is wrong and I know the chances of a divorce when a couples have lived together before marriage is higher too. I'm willing to put God first in my life and hoping that God will bless this marriage after we are married. I want to be on of the odds of it working out.<P>All and all this is something you should seek some Godly advice about and then also write down the pros and cons. I can't empathize enough to PRAY PRAY about this and seek God for some advice on this.<P>I hope some of my advice helped. I don't mean to come off as supporting living together, but on the other hand I don't want to condemn it either. I'm not here to judge by all means just to help people who are in the same situation as I am.<P>I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers...

Why not have a very small civil ceremony so you can get married now and have the big larger wedding you are planning in May?