Hi
This is new to me and I am so hoping to find some answers to my questions.My H and I wwere having probelms before the illnes and I was thinking then about leaving,but this last year has been a really hard one on him with a lot of ilness and I have tried to be thier for him in every way that I possiblaly could and at the same time resenting it.I cannot say that Iam in love with him but I do love and want him to be okay.
After the illness got under control and even before it took controll we have been having probelms with drinking.He is a alocoholic and I might be ,ok I am what has been called a borderline.
We have had a really rough year and I am trying to figure out if I want to try and make this work or if I am just being a martar and afraid to leave.
I know that he really loves me but I do not think it is a wife but more of a care taker.He is totally dependant on me to take care of all the discisions her at home.
We haveno sex lifes and did not before the illness .Just this last November we had a huge fight that I will say is 65% my fault and he thought it best that I leave for a while. I left and went to my sons house and stayed a week before I could come home I agreed to go to a councilor and he also agreed to the same thing.I have been going and he has not.I have the papers here for him to fill out and the counselor has told me to encouage him to come and I feel that I have really tried to.
Since then I have started to really become more resentful of him. My councelor has told me that he could not do me a lot of good without both of us there.He has me going to a group and I willstart that in a couple of weeks.
We have both stopped drinking but these feelingsare still ther and I don't think I can keep all of them in control much longer.
He had a stroke during surgey but has seemed to recover in almost every way.He wasn't left with any paralyes,I will say that some of his thinking isn't as clear as it use to be,but he does know my feelings and as long as I go along with him he does'nt seem to let that bother him.
He is on medication and so am I.I have been on the same meds for a long time the Dr.changed them ,I don't know if they are helping yet.I don't know if that is part of his probelms either.
Ifeell as if my hands are tied and I am getting scared of not knowing how to handle all of these feelings.

Hi,
It is slats again and I haven't heard from any of you about my situation and I wonder if this is being posted?
I am not sure if I came across like a self absorbed person or if I made any sense at all?
My H was told he lung cancer last febuary and had 2/3 of the right lung removed in march during surgery he suffered a stroke. Then in June he had a heart attack,august a blood clot moved to his good lung going to the heart. It has been a very rough year on him.All threw this though the drinking did not stop .
He was a construction worker before he was diagnosed with cancer and we moved around a lot to follow his work.He has always kept a lot af his feelings hid or has not let me know them.I have tried to get to understand him but he won't let me in to see what is going on with him. [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] When we married he was not drinking,he also ws not doing this kind of work,he had been sober for 14 years. He said after he started this line of work he was tried of being a chauffer to the other men he woked with.I was'nt with him on this first job.After that he was back on the raod to drunk when he wasn't working.This is when every thing started to go down hill.