H, called me last week wanting to put the D on hold and try to rebuild our marriage. I told him I was willing to do this but he must contact his attorney to let me my attorney know and then I would believe he was sincere. ( OW had just broken off thier)<BR>Well I haven't heard much from him since Sat.<BR>I did call him to inform him of our sons ballgame and to make sure he was feeling better( he had a bad cold) and we spoke for just a few minutes. He still is trying to decide what he wants to do, stay where he is (job is there, but so is OW , two hour drive from him) or quit his job and come home. I know it is a tough decision for him, but once again I feel like I'm in limbo. <BR>I know he is proably going thru withdrawls, but also know it would be better for our relationship if I was closer to help. <BR>We did talk about meeting half way to spend a few days together. But that too is kind of on hold. I'm not giving up , I do have things that have to be settled with my attorney. ( Ins. that H still hasn't obtained for our son, etc.) And a few other court order stuff he hasn't done. So where do I now sit. Half here half there. <BR>Anyone know how long this 3rd, on again off again affair/witdrawls might last? The other times they had broken it off he was not living close to her, but now he is and that concerns me.<BR>Tyra

Tyra<P>Are you looking for a web site to get some info? Or also some general information?<P>I wish I could help you but I can't. I have met some people who did a retrovaille program (don't know if thats spelled right) and supposedly its good, maybe someone here can get you the info. (Probably Jim) <P>I can only speak from my own experience. I was with my ex for 10 years. He cheated on me once with a close friend, in the VERY beginning. Five years later, it happened again with someone he met through work. We went to counseling. Five years later, this past xmas, he did it again. I am not saying that all betrayers do this, but in my case, I believe, he is just that type of person. <P>Good luck and prayers are with you , Dana<BR>

Sorry I guess I didn't make my statment clear.<BR> We've done all of that before. I guess what I'm asking is what do I do now. He made the effort to call me and confess and wants to try. But so far he hasn't done anything else but say the words. <BR>So I'm trying to figure out are we still divorcing or getting back together. That is what I mean about someplace between Divorce or recovery.<BR>As far as I know he never cheated on me before. In almost 29 years of marriage, he cheated just the last two. <BR>I know everyone I talk to says dump him, he still isn't being honest with you. <BR>So can anyone else help. What is the next step?

Happy Mothers Day! I don't know if this is proper to do but there is a site called divorce busters (www.weiner-davis.com) I spend a lot of time over there as well. If you click on to Surviving the Big-D and read some of Sonia's sites (now called stepbystep) she might be able to help you answer some of your questions. Also, Johnswife is another person who is on the road to recovery with her marriage - perhaps reading her posts will give you some insight. Lastly if you got to I need Support and click on Cossie he is a recovered betrayer and his posts are very interesting and gives great insight. <P>I'm not trying to defer you off this site because everyone here is wonderful! Just another option.<P>Take Care<BR>Missy2