After my ex dropped off the kids tonight, my son mentioned that there was a picture in his Dad's kitchen that bothered him. It was a picture of my ex and the ow. Of course, he STILL says she is not an ow!<P>Anyway, after my son talked to me about it, I called his dad. I was very nice and told him I didn't want to start anything, but I thought that he should be aware that the picture really bothered our son. My ex said he didn't realize and would take the picture down. He also claimed that there were other pictures with other people too. My son said that was the only picture. I told my ex that I didn't tell or let the kids know who I went out with, etc. as they don't need to be bothered so soon. Actually, I am seeing nobody but was just trying to make a point with my ex. My ex said he would call tomorrow night and talk to our son. <P>Does the selfishness ever end? I mean today was my son's birthday and he has to be reminded of this crap! I guess it just made me angry that my ex is so self absorbed. Did I handle this correctly? What do y'all think?<P>Tulip

I think you handled it correctly. I won't give my x the satisfaction of letting her know if something bothers me. But if it involves the kids, I let her know right away.<P>It sounds like you handled it as nonconfrontationally as possible, considering anything can be considered confrontational from their viewpoint.<P>Bob

Tulip: I, too, think you handled it very well. And you are right - they can't get beyond themselves! They seem to think if it is acceptable with them should be with their kids too. NOT! They are so blind to the pain they are causing their own children who worship the ground they walk on for the most part. For the most part, I don't think our spouses do it to be mean - I think they are just clueless and don't even realize the ramifications of half that they do.<P>As for the birthday - last year at this time I would have made sure my H new those important dates but now - it's sink or swim. He is a big boy and if he doesn't know by now - perhaps he'll learn from extreme embarassment. <P>Good Work<BR>Missy2