H called and left me a message yesterday.( I was out of town) He said I've come to my senses, I've done alot of soul searching, I've had enough... I realize what I've lost and I want to try and regain it. I'm coming home... I'm going to tie up loose ends here and then I'm coming home.<P>What a shock...!! Our son heard the message and said "NO way, I don't want him back. I asked why? He said He left US! I just got use to him being gone I don't want to go through that again. <BR> Before I had time to respond...H called me back and explained why NOW he was ready to try and make this work. <BR>I told him there would be many obsticales to overcome and wanted to make sure he was aware of them all. <BR>Since he was leaving his job, finances would be one, but the most important would be OUR sons outburst. <BR>He asked to speak with him so I put him on the phone. Our said didn't say much but listened. Later on in the evening I asked our son what Dad had told him.<BR>That he was sorry he had hurt us all, that he promised he would NEVER leave us again. I asked Do you believe him? He said I don't know? I said I don't either but YOU know you and I can make it on our own and if this doesn't work out WE will be fine. I think we should give him the chance to prove to us that he means it. He said ok I will give him a chance...<BR>Of course we had alot more to discuss, and he laid in bed with me and we talked about the coming days and how WE would try to adjust to this. He did ask me questions and if I've learned one thing here...don't PRETEND to know if you really don't know the answers....Like where is he going to sleep? I told him I didn't know but we do have a spare bedroom and of course there is the couch. That his dad and I hadn't worked out the details yet and we would when he arrived back to town. I said maybe we will decide it will be best for him to move into his own appartment for awhile, but at least he will be in town ...and that is good.<BR>So now comes healing time, healing for all of us....<BR>I know we have taken many small steps forward and leaps back. Today I feel like for the first time H finally took a giant step forward and hope and pray the steps back will be less with each passing day.<BR>He even said if we can work this out, maybe someday we might be able to help others who are having trouble in thier marriages.<BR>Maybe even help with Retrovalle.<BR>So to all here, a week ago I never imagined my life would take such a drastic turn and I thank God for the opportunity to at least try to meet my H's needs.... <BR>Until I see his truck pull up in the driveway. I will be on pins and needles. <BR>Hopefully next time you hear from me I will be on the recovery board..<BR>Tyra

{{{{{Tyra}}}}},<P>Miracles do happend! <P>Jim

Tyra, wow, wow, wow!!!!! NSR is right! Miracles do happen. I know it will be a lot of work but just to hear those words...."I've come to my senses"....What my H's entire family (especially his wife (me) and his three little children ) would give to hear him say those words.<P>Was your H in a very deep fog before...was he cold and disconnected??? was it for a long time???? <P>AN even more imp. thing is that your H spoke to your son. The way my H is now to the kids is nicer than he was in the beginning, but he is still clueless re: effects of his leaving on kids (ie.he is still in selfish mode) He acts like if they are not ingratiating themselves to him (like OP and his office staff do ) that they are not worthy of his attention and love!!!!<P>My prayers are with you!!!!!

I am so happy to read your good news. What a wonderful way to start the weekend! Your son will come around in time--he's just as scared and nervous as you are.

Tyra,<P>Great news !!!! I'm so happy for you !!!<P>God's Blessings to you and your family !<P>Bob

How Wonderful! I can't imagine how excited and scared you and your son must be. I hope he has really made up his mind for good. <P>Take it slow and enjoy every moment!<P>GOD BLESS YOU ALL<P>Missy2

How wonderful.....and now on to making those "new" wonderful memeories.<P>Congrats.....You will be fine<P>Nancy

Tyra!!!!!<BR>That is such wonderful news!!!<BR>God bless you and your family!<BR>God can change a persons heart in an instant, I am so glad for you!<BR>Love, Lisa

Tyra,<P>I am very happy for you!!! There are so many here who would love to hear those very words. Take good care of yourself. You can do it!!! We are all cheering you on. If listen hard you can hear us clapping.<P>{{{{{{Applause}}}}}}}}<P><P>------------------<BR>Blessed be.<BR>****************<BR>Keridwen<P>Keridwen_7@yahoo.com

Great News! Congratulations! Now can I add a word of caution and advice? Do you know why he left? Was it an affair? Well, if so you need to find out why he is coming back? Is it really over with this OW? How do you know it is over? Is he willing to enter into some typ of agreement as to how you will proceed now? Will he go to counseling with you to work on unresolved marital issues? It will take time to have things come back together.. but I am a big believer that they can. But proceed with open eyes. He has done a lot over your period of separation that has been behind your back and you need to understand why he was doing what he did. At some point, you will need to feel that you have reached a point where it is ok to let go of your pain and you will have to reach that point in order to move on.. afterall if everytime you guys have a fight you bring up your separation.. he will eventually just give up on things as he will be tired of hearing about his major screw up... Think about counseling for yourself and you son that would be independant of the marital counseling.. you and your son have to deal with your very justified anger at your h as well as your fear of future abandonment... oh and Don't think you have a handle on it just because you are aware of the issues....<P>Overall.. good luck. Believe it or not, now the hard work really starts. But you are strong and you can do this!

To all, I am cautious but optomistic.<BR>I spoke with H this morning and he is going thru withdrawels big time. OW has been calling and leaving messages and he says it is sooo hard. I feel like I'm torn between two Lovers.But I am still coming home I have to tell you in person all that has happened and I need to see you and my family.<BR>I will never desert my son again. I want my old life back. I like it hear and have made many good friends but I really need to be with all of you. <BR>He did say he felt better after talking to me and was still coming home. <BR>So I guess I will just have to wait and see when he gets here what happens. <BR>I am ok, I know I have grown and changed since he left and will be ok by myself. I want him by my side, but not if he would rather be somewhere else. I guess I have been letting go for 7 months now...<BR>At least now I have the chance to see if I really do want him back. I believe I do, but first I must see him to be sure.<BR>Tyra