My idiot stbx called today wanting to know if I would watch the kids Saturday morning (his weekend), so he could go to the state required parenting course. Apparently, the judge will not finalize our divorce until he goes. I went back in Feb. Well, I can't watch them because I have a class on Saturday. Is it my fault that he is an idiot and waited until the last minute to make arrangements to go? I mean he has only had 10 months to attend two 2 hour classes. <P>To make matters worse, he tells me he will see if a girl at work will watch the kids. First, I have no idea who this person is. Second, she is the one allowing my stbx's whore to live with her. Third, apparently they are best friends. Now, do you really think that sounds like a good place for my children to be? Nah, me either.<P>I finally told him he could either pick up his children at the alotted time and keep them himself for the weekend or he could forfeit his weekend. This man only sees them four days out of the month as it is, and half the time he says he has to work, etc. Always an excuse! I on the other hand, have them the rest of the time and always manage to take care of my responsibilities. <P>Needless to say, he is extremely pissed off at me, and he decided to give up his weekend with the kids. Well, maybe he get his act together next time! Wishful dreaming, huh? Of course this is all my fault too! I'm getting pretty used to hearing that one <P>Sorry for the vent everyone. Just really needed to get it off my chest.<P>Tulip

My x kinda did the same thing. I went in Dec, she waited until Jan and then instead of going to one of the kids fuctions, she had to go to the parenting class.<P>She laughed about it and said it was a waste of time as she knew all that stuff anyhow. I guess she missed the part about forcing her relationship with om down the kids throat though!

In my opinion, those classes are a joke! My H and I went together to that class - in fact he had spent the week with the ow and met me there. I cried the entire time I was there - I made darn sure I got up and asked the question on how do you parent when one lives 3 states away. I know it is their job to make the best of a bad situation but their ideas made me want to puke! Have someone video you reading your children a story and send it to them to watch as much as they wish. Oh yeah, that will make them feel like dad is right there with them. <P>I hear you Tulip and RWD - it stinks!<P>Missy2

RWD,<P>For the most part, my stbx had to stop trying to force the ow down my kids' throats. I've been very lucky in that aspect as I think both lawyers made my stbx realize that this was definitely NOT in the best interest of our children. My children have not seen the ow since December. <P>I just try and remember that the children will realize when they are older which parent did what to take care of them. I hope your wife comes to her senses about the om and stops forcing him on your children. Take care.<P><BR>Missy2,<P>Wow, it sounds like the class you attended had some strange suggestions! Really? A video tape? Geeeeez! The class to me was a joke since I felt the information was just common sense. On the other hand, my stbx NEEDS some common sense! I doubt he'll listen to any of it, but just the fact that he has to go and pay for it makes me feel better. Take care. <P>Tulip

My stbx and I had to attend a divorce seminar. 2 1/2 hours of stuff that I felt was pretty much bull. My stbx even refused to sign up...so a letter was sent to him stating he would be held in contempt of court if he didn't register. The instructor told me that he wasn't going to be there because he didn't register....but he waltzed in about 3 minutes before the class started.<P>The other couples sat next to each other and talked. My stbx sat 2 rows behind me and would make loud comments. He even brought a sheriff there to protect him.<P>After the class he would call and kept making reference to stuff said in the class. Like how he was so much further than me in the recovery process.....because I was the one "dumped". He would actually go to work with the diagram of the recovery process and show people where he was and where I was. Of course he would always show me in the denial stage and him one stage away from being completely over it.<P>Our children were also ordered to attend a child divorce program. Guess who took them everytime. He would even call and leave us msgs stating he knew we where home and not answering the phone. I actually got a call from my old attorney stating that I would get in trouble if we didn't start answering the phone when he called. Of course during that time he had call screening on his phone and the children could not call him. Sounds like a great parent...huh? I guess he didn't want to be bothered by them.<P>

Your idiot stbx sounds an awful lot like my idiot stbx! But my stbx, who only sees the kids on Sundays, sometimes can't make it because of the "new flavour of the month". I'll never understand how he can make time for the new women in his life, but can't take 1 day out of his week to spend it with his boys.<BR>Sometimes, I wish he could just disappear. He also has the annoying habit of introducing the kids to every new woman that comes into his life. And when I get angry and tell him that he's confusing the kids, he tells me to mind my own freakin' business. He had the balls to tell me that a child psychologist told him that this was the way to go. Kids had to deal with it, and that's it.<BR>Well, enough venting for one day.<BR>Best of luck to you Tulip! Keep your chin up!

Sure sounds like there is a lot of NCP's out there that enjoy being a parent when it's convenient for them! My ex has seen his kids 4-5 times in the past year and a half and he lives 2 miles away. In a lot of ways it's better that way though because when he was taking them every other weekend he'd do stuff that would make the hair stand up on the back of your neck just to upset me. His behavior was so bad at that time that the kids were actually having a lot of problems and had to attend a lot of counseling. Once he stopped seeing them (at the request of his girlfriend) they are doing extremely well. They seem happy with seeing him just for a movie or dinner also. I guess they don't expect anything else from him after experiencing so many awful things when they were staying at his home.

WOW,<P>You guys are scaring me. I'm the dad being ejected, and I have two options, blow billions of bucks on a custody hearing and probably loose (no realistic grounds), or mediate close to 40/60,<BR>save to buy a house in the same town, and <BR>hopefully they will pick the better parent.<P>But given the location and my job (executive) versus teacher (more kid convenient working hours) this really $uck$.<P>thl<BR>

thl,<BR>Although my H is an idiot, he is still keeping up his relationship with the kids. He even boots out the OW on his weekends with the kids. I can't believe she goes for that, but apparently she isn't too bright. She is apparently a very needy person. I'm glad she's not there, I'm just surprised she hasn't offered an ultimatum to him yet. I would just hate it if they had to break up...NOT!<P><P>------------------<BR>Blessed be.<BR>****************<BR>Keridwen<P>Keridwen_7@yahoo.com

Keridwen7<P>What does that name stand for, or is it a real name?<P>It just so sad that after 10-15 years with our spouses, they have gone from the focus of our lives to depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.<P>And what we see just doesn't make any sense, or does it?<P>thl<BR>

Mental,<P>Are you sure our stbx's aren't twins? It is unbelieveable how they don't seem to realize how their actions have/will affect their children. My stbx has been telling my children that he can't buy them anything because their mom takes all of his money! Oh, but he had plenty to spend on ow! This behavior makes me want to throw up. Do you think they will ever hit reality? I sure hope so for all of our kids' sakes. Take care.<P>Tulip

When we separated, his affair was in full swing because her H had decided he wanted out, so she was free then. <BR>My X was to have the kids every other weekend, but quite often he was not here. I would just tell the kids the truth(they are 16 and 13) that Dad was out of town. <BR>He seldom takes them his scheduled weekends even now that we are divorced. I just make point of it only when I know I have plans and need him to watch them. If I do not have other things going on, I will let him see them whenever he wants. Fighting about the visitation only hurts them in the end, and mine have already figured out what is important to their Dad. <BR>My son even said to him on the phone once, "Dad, you only have me 4 days a month, at least you could spend it with me". Ouch... <P>------------------<BR>Susan