No,I like to play detective.How do you think I discovered BoyToy's address?Using the Internet,of course(something that never dawned on W).When my checkbook is off by 47 cents,I have to find out why,(W always did the accounting,so something else I learned).<BR> We have a lot of people at Boeing that came from other states,so it's interesting to talk to them.I'd like to travel more.<BR> I had("had"is the keyword here)in-laws that live in New Haven,CT,that we were going to visit someday.Real nice people.It hurts that I'll never see them again.How do you get along now with your in-laws?<P> --Det.Murph

My in-laws??? Well, at first, we got along great. They were very supportive of me. But after our hearing in April, they acted like it was my duty to call them or take the boys to see them. They haven't made an effort in about a month to see the boys. I know they are the grandparents but, I am busy. They could at least call and leave a message. And H's mom knows that I'm working a lot of hours but she's never offered to watch the boys. My parents have them every single time I work. I'm sorry, but I don't think it should all be on me. I'm dealing with a lot and it isn't always on my mind to call them. <BR>Did I vent a little there? LOL LOL<P>I've only been to Ohio, Michigan, Delaware, Virginia, Pennsylvania and Maryland. If I get to Washington, I think I'd like to go Greyhound. That way my kids can see alot of the U.S. But 3 boys on a bus for 3 days is a scary thought! LOL

I see Niagra Falls is right above you.Ever been there?<BR> You have every right to vent.You have a lot to handle,besides just having to work,(there's that word again).You think they could help out,but H probably did his fair share of slam-dunking you to them,you think?What do you feel they think of their son's actions?<BR> I hope you get a fair settlement.Will you get to keep your house?<BR> <BR> --Murph

Murph,<BR>I don't know if he trashed me or not. When all of the ignoring started, they had just met the OW. Maybe that has something to do with it. In the beginning, his mom would cry about it. She couldn't believe he would just up and leave. I guess now it doesn't bother her as much.<BR>If they don't want to help out with the boys, that's fine. Hell, their own father won't help. He speaks to the boys when it's time to pay his child support or on birthdays and holidays. <BR>The settlement is pretty fair. He owes me money and instead of paying it back, he's going to take over some bills that add up to more than that. Plus I do get to keep the house. He just needs to sign it over to me. He basically walks away with nothing but his personal possessions and some bills. At least I get to keep my children's home.<P>HG

HG,<BR> Maybe I'm all wet,but my feeling is he probably put you down to justify his actions.At first,my in-laws were basically in shock about my W shacking up with a guy 14 years younger than me.I talked to my BIL who I knew since he was 8.We talked for a hour or so.He wanted to know who this guy was,and how his sis could do such a thing.<BR> A couple weeks later,I called him,and he acted like he didn't want to talk to me.He acted like I hated his whole family.This from a guy I treated like a brother.My stbx did her magic.She's a drama-queen,and is very good at it.My folks have known hers for about 30 years.They stopped by to talk to them,and found out my stbx told some big whoppers.But my in-laws still wouldn't talk to me.They're pretty naive when it comes to office affairs.Anyway,I think thats standard issue for that to happen in affairs.<BR> Your H may come to regret his decision one day.Perhaps if OW dumps him,and he sees what he did to his XW and kids,he'll feel differently.<P> --Murph

Oh,oh,I think Mitz fell asleep,again.<BR> I must be boring her.Well,I think I'll jump in the tub with my ShowerMassager,and then hit the hay.Catch you later......<P> --Murph~~~DG

Murph-<BR>ZZZZZZZZZZZZ! LOL LOL I think the weekend with hardly any sleep is catching up with me! <P>I guess it's a possibility that he told them some stories. I had a good relationship with his mom, brother and 2 sisters. Since he's been gone, the only one to talk to me has been his mom. Sure his siblings live 3 hours from me but I'm the mother of their nephews. You'd think they'd call to see how the boys are. They didn't even get them anything for Christmas or their birthdays. <P>I know one of these days my H will regret all of this because I was a damn good wife! And what he's with now just doesn't compare. But ya know what? It's way too late! I lost all of my respect and love for him when he decided that his kids weren't important.<P>Have a great day! Hope the rain has stopped! LOL<P>Mitzi

I told my ex that even if he turned out to be an axe-murderer, his parents would support him. That is what parents do. I wouldn't expect my parents to be extra friendly to my ex. Not because he is a rotten guy, but because I'm more important to them than he is. Pretty simple. <P>His parents wanted us to work things out too, but my ex made up alot of garbage too. Told alot of his friends the same crap. Some of the stuff he said hurt me a great deal, but I guess that was his point. Oh well. Looking back, I do remember alot of the stuff he said about his ex-girlfriend. He admitted to a couple of things with her, but I'm guessing now it was pretty skewed information. That is fine. He gets to start from scratch with someone new, and go through the same old stuff over-and-over-and-over.

The Student,<P>You know, I feel the same way. I'm learning where I went wrong and ways that I can change me. My stbx is always going to be the same and have the same problems, simply because he hasn't taken a good look at himself. Let the OW deal with his anger and selfishness. I put in my time there and I don't need that anymore.<P>Mitzi/HG

Hey Guys........<P>Yes.I did crash!.....I guess that I needed it.But hey,I had some great dreams! <P>Yes,Murph/DG.......I did see some mighty fine pool studs...... <P>(no,harm in looking right?????)<P>Mitz/HG,you go girl.......that is the same way I feel w/my situation.....he will still be the same person,and will never,yes,I can say never find anyone that is better than I.<BR>(ok,so my EGO is flaring today. )<P>Far as work goes.....I am off for the summer,(I work part time at my d's Elementary School as a Kindergarten Aid.)I love it!....never a dull moment w/those lil guys!<BR> <P>So,I am just hanging out at the pool,playing w/my kids,and working out.(the pool is at a Athletic Club,so I have also been working out,trying to get rid of my tummy.)<P>Hey you guys ever play Racquet Ball???<BR>They have a couple of courts there and I have wanted to do it.(last time that I did play was....oohhh,back in 1982)<P>You all have a good one!<P>Take it easy..........<P>Gina <BR><P>------------------<BR>"If we deny love that is given to us,if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss,then our lives will be empty,our loss greater!"-----Anonymous----

Hey Gina!<P> I can't go to the pool! I have to go to work!! At least they have AC in the house where I'm working! <P>My H helped me get rid of my tummy. The ever so popular infidelity diet. My 12 year old niece and I traded clothes so that I would have some to fit. It's pretty pathetic having to look in the little girls section for clothes! <BR>The only shorts I could find were hot pants. I just can't see myself taking my 3 sons to the market and baseball games with my behind hanging out! <P>Have a good day!<P>HG

Hey Mitz,<P>I know what you mean about the ID.....I lost 15 p.went down 3 pant sizes,I just hate my tummy,I could still lose more every where,but I would be happy w/my tummy gone.<P>Now,that he has moved out......I haven't lost anymore....<<<<sigh>>>>>....<P>You know the old saying fat and happy.<BR>LOL.....Ha,by the time I take my vacation in Aug,I would really like to wear a 2 peice and look half way good.<P>Take it easy.......don't work too hard!<P>Gina <P>

Gina,<P>You're about the same size as me! How tall are you? I'm a shorty. Only 5'2". I lost 22 pounds when my H moved out. Went from 130 to 108. I have a little tummy from having my kids, but have to admit I don't look too bad! I thanked my H the other day for leaving. He asked why I would thank him. I told him I had wanted to lose a little weight and because of him, I did! LOL LOL<P>I have about an hour and a half before I go to work....It's HOT here again!!<P>Mitz

Mitz,<P>I am soooo embaressed to say......but <BR>when this all started,(OCT-NOV)I was at 150<BR>and I am not even 5' although my drivers license says 5'...LOL....I am at 130 now,so even w/my height I still could lose 5-10 more.With your height your LOOKING GREAT!<P>I will say that just changing the kind of clothes that I was wearing to now,has made a big difference!......plus just my attitude and the way I carry my self helps.<BR>(I don't know......it has been way to long to even be attractive looking to the other gender.UGH!)Scares me to even think about it.<P>I have got a great personality and love to make people laugh,and know how to have fun.So,I am hoping that that will mean more than just my looks.(does that make any sence at all?????)<P>I do hope that you can get out that way to see Mt.St.H......it is sooo beautiful,it is just breath taking.<P>Gina <P>

Don't be embarassed! When I first lost my weight I was embarassed because I lost it so fast and looked sick. Now I've gotten used to it. I'm about the same size I was in high school. <P>I really want to go to WA. I've got friends there and I want to visit before summer is over. But I just can't afford to fly and besides that, I'm scared to death to do it! LOL Plus I want the boys to be able to see everything along the way. Something for them to remember. <P>Well, I gotta run. Gotta take the boys to my parents' and go into work a little early. They're thinking about making me a house manager at work so I have to make a good impression! <P>Mitz

Hey guys, I hope you don't mind me honing in... but I lost a lot of weight in the last year, trying to continue to meet hubby's emotional needs! And he accused me of doing it for another man! After I left, I got so sick with gall bladder problems that I lost another 15 lbs! I still have about 5 pounds to go to my goal weight. And the tummy? Geez, it is time for some serious TaeBo I think! Thanks for letting me include my 2 cents!<P>NoraP

Mitz,<P>Gosssshhhhh,I wish I was the same weight from High S.....I was 98pounds and wore a size 3.Ha,LOL....I don't that will happen!<P>Oh,the good ole HS days...<<<<<<sigh>>>>>><P>Have a good one at work!<P>You go Girl! <P>P.S......have you thought of renting a Van,or if you have one......that way you can do the driving......see the country,and your boys can see the view.Oh,and when you get this way you could have a place to crash for the night or 2....save ya in a little money at least!...... <P>Gina <P>

Hey Goddesses,<BR> The Student makes so much sense,it's scary.I tried so hard to make my in-laws try to see what my stbx was doing,and that she was lying to them,but telling me I was a good H;she was just in-love with BoyToy.But it's probably true,she could of shot me,and her family would still be behind her.They are,after all,her family,not mine.Anyhows,he can put up with her faults now.<P> So(now that we hit on the in-law thing),how's it going?I just got home a while ago.Probably will go work outside for a while.<BR> Did I mention that I happen to like short women?Gina,you're probably shorter than my 14 yr-old niece.But then both of my sister's kids are growing like weeds.Must be the growth hormones they give to the cows.<BR> <BR>Mitz,don't be afraid to fly.I used to be,but realized it was the only way I was going to go some places.I just wish they had more leg room,I'm tall.Besides,those engines on our Boeing jets don't fall off that often!<P> NoraP,<BR> This thread is open to anyone.Horn in whenever you want! <P> --Det.Murph~~~DG/YardWorker<BR> <BR>

Hey Det Murph/DG/Yard Worker,<P>My can we come up w/some more names????LOL<P>In school I always hated being so short,but I have gotten use to it.Not to metion the new and latest shoes that they have out now..LOL,......makes me about oh,5'2....LOL <BR>How tall are you???...My stbx is 6'.(my neck hurt for a while,I have gotten use to it.We look like Mutt/Jeff....LOL) <BR>Hope that your day went well.<P>Mitz,ya,Det-Murph is right you need to fly.Gets there a lot faster.If you book the flights early enough you can get pretty good prices as well.<P>What is happening tonight.......are we ready for another party?????<P>I could really go for ice cream. I've got the M&M's for the topping! <P>Gina

Gina,<BR> I'm 6'1",200 lbs.I've always had a lanky build so I got teased in school for being too skinny(aren't kids mean?).<BR> There are lots of advantages to being short,though:<P> You can drive a Civic,and not be looking through the tint at the top of the windshield.<BR> <BR> You can fly on a plane,and not be wearing your knees on your chin.<P> You don't have to worry about hitting ceiling fans,or lights that are too low.<P> When you were in school,you could hide behind the person in front of you.<P> You can stretch out in the bathtub.<P> It's easier for you to crawl under a car,behind the refridge,or look under the couch.<P> When someone yells"Duck!",you already are.<P> When a panhandler asks you for spare change,you can honestly say,"Sorry,but I'm a little short."<P> Best of all,you can actually fit in those seats on the rides at Disneyland!<P> There,didn't that make you feel better! <BR> <BR> Ice cream sounds good,I better head to the local Costco.Catch you later,I'd stay and talk,but I'm a little short on time. <P> --Murph~~~DG/YW<P>