Wow...<P>What incredible friends I have here at this forum....<BR>...the warmest and dearest wishes... <BR>...and yes... {{{hugs}}} too!<P>Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.<P>I'll respond to each of you later in the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum34/HTML/000375.html" TARGET=_blank>Court update (1)</A> post.<P>---------------------------------------------<P>Now for the lowdown...<P>Surprise, surprise....<BR>...my W <B>didn't</B> show!... again!<P>She stayed until about 12:30 yesterday (the original date of the trial... but the first case of the day took up the entire day)...<BR>She was told by the clerk to come back the next morning(Tuedsay) 9 AM...<BR>Her attorney tried to call her twice last night but to no avail...<BR>When her attorney called her this morning....<BR>...she said she "just went to work"...<BR>...no other explanation!<P>Is the "fog" really that thick?...<P>My attorney now agrees that the OM is the one pushing her buttons as to what decisions to make...<BR>...shows the level of intelligence she's shacked up with... <P>So bottom line...<BR>...<B>I am married (civil) for 62 more days!</B> <BR>(a brief victory... in the battle to avoid divorce... reality says it's a losing war... but a little victory here and there helps me keep going)<P>The judge ruled that my W has to provide a "full disclosure" of all her finances... including (step)son's SS benefits money... all loans (from OM or his family)... the works... by no later than July 17th...<BR>...she's procrastinated on this since January!<P>Then... unfortunately... on August 7th...<BR>...the battle will most likely be over...<BR>...exactly 16 months from D-day... will be divorce-day... <P>The judge made it absolutely clear...<BR>...<B>NO ADJOURNMENTS ALLOWED</B>!<BR>The judge is leaving family court in the August/September time frame... and must close out all of her cases.<P>Two interesting items...<BR>1. My attorney did say that the judge remembered our case... as "the case were the woman left her children... and her own son with (son's) stepdad... to move in with the boyfriend"! (Wow... maybe this judge isn't that bad afterall.)<BR>2. If W does not have documents ready on July 17th, or can't make August 7th date...<BR>...all bets are off on any stand she makes on any of the settlement agreement. My attorney says he can then "run roughshod" over the case. (I don't think she will miss either of these dates... there is too much $$$ at stack for her.)<P>Oh well... another day where $1,000+ in attorney fees has been spent... <BR>...boy could I have usee that with a dead car (son's)... and the trip in June/July...<BR>...but there's nothing I can do about that either.<P>---------------------------------------------<P>News on the "court scene" will now slow down to a crawl...<BR>...until I get back from my summer trip with the kids... in July!<P>---------------------------------------------<P>Your prayers, kind words, and hugs...<BR>...got me through this day... <P>Thanks.<P>Jim... <B>N</B>ew <B>S</B>un <B>R</B>ising [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

Take those small victories when you get them! I wish I had your stamina, but I gave up after 10 months of trying, trying, trying. I can't do it anymore. Thanks for your responses to my posts...helps keep me going too!<BR><P>------------------<BR>Blessed be.<BR>****************<BR>Keridwen<P>Keridwen_7@yahoo.com

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Jim}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Limbo is a tough place to be...<P>Hang in there--<P>Kathi

Congrats on your continued brief victories and may they continue. The fog of a WS certainly can be almost impenetrably thick, can't it?<P>I'm glad to here that some judges have a conscious and concern about the eternal impact of their job. Be assured that the money spent on this struggle is well spent.<P>Someone once said that "It's easy to fight, and it's easy to run. What is hard is to stand for what you believe when you want to fight or run." Your stand is such a source of strength and encouragement for so many here. <P>Have a great trip with the kids and again, I commend you on your stand.

Greetings from sunny California,<P>Well... little victories are nice, huh???<P>Have a lovely vacation with your kids!!<P>Biggest platonic hugs I can muster, my friend!!!!!!!!!!!<P>Sheryl

You take care, enjoy your vacation....we will just have to struggle along without ya!!!<P>------------------<BR>Susan

JIMBO!!!<P>Everything happens for a reason She made the scene yesterday, but not today? HUMMMM?<P>62 days, a lot can happen in that time frame. Know what I mean, nudge.. nudge... say no more.<P>The same kind of "jumbled" events went my way as well. I went to sign the D papers a few weeks back. I had it and didn't like it, that was it for me, I wanted out. This lawyer does these D's all the time! He only had me sign one of the two papers. I took that as a sign, said nothing and left the office.<P>Now I have a "date" with Val this Friday. Things are looking good for us. I know, at least for me, God looks after the incredibly stupid.<P>I can tell that He really likes you.<P><P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic

Jim,<P>Sounds exhausting but, looks like the judge likes you, that is a plus.<P>I went to see my lawyer today to sign my final papers. I couldn't sign a thing, because my h's lawyer put in this statement in our parenting plan, that we can not consider the selling of stock options as income when they reevaluate my child support. We mediated with the knowledge that we use that money to suppliment our income. When I go to court to have my child support reevaluted in two years it would go down by 600 dollars a month if I let him have his way. He doesn't want it to go down either, he says he is protecting himself. I am protecting myself. I may have to go back to to judge who mediated and get help.<P>I don't know what to think anymore. We are at the lawyers mercy and they are incredibly sloooowww!! I was told this would be the case when there is alot of assets at stake. The funny thing is that we communicate fine, it is the lawyers that get us fighting. <P>My h called last night and was in a fit, because he got a paper from the courts that said, if we didn't finalize things by Thursday, we would have to refile for divorce. He said he has spent $20,000 and doesnt' want to do this again. I guess he really wants out. I wonder why he sits on the papers for so long if thats what he wants. I have to laugh, I spent $7,000. I think his lawyer is taking him to the cleaners. They hear he works for Microsoft and they get him coming and going. <P>I am ready for this to be over now, sounds like you had your day in court. I think that the judge liked me as well. He didn't look at the affair and abandonment in too kind of a manner either. Well I hope things turn for you. I don't hold any hope. Take care.<P>Gerri

I feel so sorry for you guys having to jump through all these hoops. It seems so senseless that the spouses do so much to end the marriage and want the op so bad then sit on the papers or all of a sudden start worrying about money. I thought the op was the solution to all their problems!<P>Jim, <BR>I imagine you already looked into it, but is there any way you can force w to pay court costs or lawyers fees since she is the one holding everything up?

Jim, as always my prayers are with you.<P>(Besides, I may need some advice in the future) <P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Jim,<P>Late again, I know.... However, enjoy the small victories you get handed along the way. It is fortunate that the judge remembers your case and views the wife's actions as questionable. It might make your case easier, and perhaps sway the court to secure money for the kids education, as it is proven that your wife under the current cicumstances have no good judgement in any area pertaining to the welfare of the kids. Maybe you should make your attorney make the attempt to secure money for the kids education (your 401k fund), even though he thinks that the chances are slim, they are not non-existent (and the extra goodwill you've got from the judge might be enough to make it happen in your case).<P>Anyway, I pray for you and your kids and your wife as well, she needs it too!<BR>Good luck in court, keep your chin up... You will prevail.<P>