Not sure if this is the correct forum. Just want to vent and get any advice. After 4 years of marriage (total 10 yrs together) and<BR>2 kids. My husband and I are separated. He says that I am controlling and he wants to be the "man" of the household. I admit that I have used LBs over the years(and recently) and that we never had the policy of joint agreement. I would state what would be done. He would not say anything, so I went on ahead with whatever plan I had in mind.<BR>Last December, I suspected that he was having an affair or had an affair with a co-worker. I found her phone numbers in his cell phone logs. The separation was kicked off (May 6) because she called our house on<BR>May 5 and he played dummy. He told me in December that he would not talk to her and that she was just a friend. But that has not happened. Of course, I don't trust anything he says now. Even during our separation he continues to talk to her and lie to me about talking to her. He has not admitted to having an affair.<P>Our kids( 6 yrs and 2 yrs) seem to be adjusting fine to Daddy not living with us.<BR>As each day passes, I am not sure if I am willing to work things out with him, I have gotten the phone number for a divorce lawyer<BR>(haven't called yet however) <P>I know that I have not done what I could do to meet his emotional needs. However I would try but he wasn't accepting. He would try and I wasn't accepting. So here we are.<P>We both agree that we need counseling.. but<BR>sometimes I don't see the point when he can't even tell me the truth now that we are apart.<P>Thanks for listening.

If the MB concepts make sense to you...<BR>...and you decide it is worth saving your marriage...<P>I would recommend that you have a couple of <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7200_phone.html" TARGET=_blank>telephone counseling sessions</A> ($85US a pop... but well worth it) with <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7010_about.html" TARGET=_blank>Steven W. Harley</A> or Jennifer Harley. Check out the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7000_counsel.html" TARGET=_blank>Counseling Center</A>... and for some specifics... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7015_fee.html" TARGET=_blank>Fees for Counseling Services</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7020_sched.html" TARGET=_blank>Scheduling an Appointment</A>!<P>Having an unbiased third party is very helpful... once reconciliation is sought.<P> <P>Jim

I would have to agree with Jim. If you both decide to reconcile, then I think counseling would be the best place to begin. They can be used to find the "root" cause of the problem and work on creating a solution instead of how most people only work on the "symptom."<P>Best of luck and God's Blessings.<P>Bob

Hi,<P>I also agree with Jim. If you agree with the principles outlined on the MB website, then contact them for counseling. I've called Jennifer Harley, and she is good. I'll let you know if the counseling can save my marriage in a future post.<P>Be strong for you and your children. You're not alone.<P>Wish you the best of luck,<BR>Andrew