OK, in the considered opinion of the members of this board, am I overreacting?<P>Stbx brings kids back from visitation last Sunday. They come up the stairs and f**kbuddy is carrying my 1 year old daughter! Well, I kind of lost it and went over, grabbed her out of his hands, and told him to keep his hands off my daughter. We exchanged some words. Larri doesn't see anything wrong with him playing to pseudo-parent, but what would you expect in the situation.<P>Comes to Wednesday and she wants to pick them up early. I ask her if OM is going to be with her. She tells me that it is none of my business. So I tell her to pick them up at her normally scheduled time.<P>So here is the question: am I being unreasonable to restrict her visitation to her court awarded times when she is with OM? She can come and see them, and even take them with her if she is alone. But if OM shows, only scheduled times.<P>I have been very liberal with visitation up to now, but something snapped when I saw that.<P>What do y'all think?<P>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by grandpabri2:<BR><B>So here is the question: am I being unreasonable to restrict her visitation to her court awarded times when she is with OM? </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>In my opinion, no you're not being unreasonable. It is in some temporary custody hearings that visitation shall only be at such and such a place with certain people allowed or disallowed. If it were my child, I would push for that. Now once you are divorced, I am not sure if those stipulations can still be made (I think there can be restrictions on overnight "visitors" though), but as long as you are married, I'd push for it. <P>What if you got back together? How does that look to the children? How do you explain that? I never told my daughter anything until we absolutely had to. She's never seen anything. Why open that can of worms and torture the children more than they already are if you can prevent it?

When I was going through my divorce, my H shared a 1 bedroom apartment with the OW. They had the kids bed in their bedroom. When I discovered this, I talked to my attorney and he said I could get a court order prohibiting my H from having the kids for overnight visits if the OW was present. He cautioned that this may drag out the divorce and since it was going to be final in a few months I should think about it. <P>I wanted to teach the jerk a lesson, but I wanted the divorce to be over so I could sell the house and move. I was torn. I didn't file the court order and opted to try to talk some sense into my H. He said he wouldn't change what they were doing and I should just "deal" with it. <P>The divorce was final 12/31/98 (yes, new year's eve--classic) and they now have a house, are expecting their first child, and have no plans to marry. <P>I think they are setting the worst possible example for my kids and there is nothing I can do about it. <P>I share in your frustration, anger and resentment. I honestly believe that children should not be exposed to boyfriends/girlfriends until there is a serious relationship. Children who go through a divorce already experience a great loss when one parent leaves. They don't need to suffer any more. <P>Good luck.