I am about there with my marriage. Have been a good man, a good husband, and a good father. She, however, just does not put the effort in to save it. Now, I am getting angrier by the day. I am looking for sites to tell me as a father my rights, my chances of full custody. She has never maintained a steady job, has cheated on me 3x( that I know about), threatened immediate divorce if I DNA tested 'our' son, now moved out with her parents, and still has no job. I feel I could provide so much more for him. Plus, why should I have to lose the woman I love AND the son who's love has never waivered?<BR>Just looking for some answers. Also, hope she never finds out about the test--I will know that answer in about 8 days.

LCH2,<P>There are a lot of sites on the internet concerning fathers rights......but beware. Many are woman bashers....and that just gets you in deeper trouble. <P>Think logically. My ex visited all those sites and tore our girls hearts out with his constant badgering and threats.<P>Good luck.<P>Nancy

LCH2,<P>Unfortunately, Nancy has given you some excellent advice.<P>I've spend most of my life teaching Adult Sunday School and helping Moms & Dads be the best they can be for their kids. i've also spend 15 years in children's ministry, in fact I've been a Children's Magician (Family Entertainer) for over 26 years now. I love kids and I love being a parent.<P>I've recently started attending and offering support to the National Fatherhood Iniative, one of the FEW Father's rights organization with a focus on building and maintaining relationships with your children, and learning tolerance and and self-control in your relationship with their -ex wives or significant others. The court system IS extremely biased in favor of women, although the statistics show that IF there is another man in the relationship, the children are 10 times more likely to be abused.<P>Visit this site please, I also belong the the local Lancaster County Fatherhood Iniative here in PA.<P>About the National Fatherhood Initiative <A HREF="http://www.fatherhood.org/membership.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.fatherhood.org/membership.html</A> <P>I've just started a Web Page for PA Dads to help Fathers learn how to be great Dads.<BR>I have many links on my one page, and some legal links as well.<BR> <A HREF="http://padads.homestead.com" TARGET=_blank>http://padads.homestead.com</A> <P>Be prepared, Full custody is something I would give my right arm to have, and my children would LOVE to be a complete family again.<P>We've learned to make the best of the situation and enjoy each other's company as best we can.<P>I truly have wonderful children, and they've learned to pull together and through all of this I've grown much, much closer to all my children and I'm thankful that they feel comfortable sitting down with Dad and pouring their hearts out, and I the BEST thing you can do for your kids is to show respect and honor to their Mom, always. BE what you want HER to become. BE the role model your children need right now. And trust me, it is very, very hard to hold your tongue and not become angry and possibly viscious, but remember their Mom will ALWAYS be there Mom and you have a responsibility to your children to be thankful that they have a Mom.<P>I think you get the jist of what I'm saying. If I can be of any further help, please contact me through my Web Page.<P>Hope I was helpful. <P>Don<BR>

Nancy and Don Too...<P>are right...<P>A lot of women and marriage bashing sites out there...<BR>...and the one I list here is too!<P>But there are many <B>good</B> and <B>fair</B> references you can get from here.<P>Don't get sucked into the hate!<P><A HREF="http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/" TARGET=_blank>Fathers Rights To Custody(FRTC)</A> <I>*warning*... very anti-marriage site</I>.<P> <P>Jim

I agree with NSR. Be careful of the frtc site. It is the best site I have seen for the technical stuff, such as how to document, what the court cares about, etc. The parent time tracker software they give away for free is great. But...they are very anti marriage, lots of strong hateful feelings.<P>You also may look in the divorcenet.com site. They have state specific bulletin boards where you can post questions, as well as generic boards for issue specific questions.<P>It is a long, hard road you have chosen. Keep the best interests of the child in mind and you will prevail.<P>Good Luck