DAlienated,<P>I mainly just lurk now. I was on Marriage Builders for so long and only found a small handful of people that went through what I did during my divorce.<P>You sound like your marriage and divorce was just like mine.<P>My marriage involved his affairs......his constant verbal and emotional abuse coupled with occasional physical abuse. Sometimes this was done behind closed doors, but many times done in front of our children.<P>They are girls....10 & 8. We spent time going to custody evaluators, GAL's and many hours in a court house.....with me giving in to all of his demands, so I could keep the children. <P>4 lawyers later.......I am sitting here today facing yet another custody battle and I am without counsel.<P>He never stops.<P>The abuse, both verbal and physical still are a constant in the childrens lives. He inflicts so much pain on them that they literally hate him. <P>They scream, beg and cry whenever visitation day comes. It is heartwrenching to watch a 10 year old go completely beserk when Wednesdays and every other weekend comes along. Our 8 year old just sits there......numb.....with tears in her eyes.<P>They have become stronger, but more bitter. They think of anything they can to get out of going with him. <P>I try to provide them with all that a parent can. One reduced child support it is very hard to provide them with all of their wants. But I have been able to provide them with everything that they need. <P>Good luck <P>Nancy<P>Kenizanasshl@aol.com