Here I am...<P>Not an hour after my W drop off the kids...<BR>...they sit here...<P>...so darn intense...<P>...watching Disney's "Parent Trap"!<P>What must be going on in their sad minds about their future...<BR>...with mom and dad apart... <BR>...and no chance a reconciliation... <P>And this on the heals of my 8-yo daughter's school psychologist calling me last Thursday, saying possible signs of depression... <P>Oh man...<BR>...a little vent. <P>Jim

Jim, I hear you brother....That movie bugs me too...<P>Hang in my friend! <P>Bill

Jim,<P>It goes without saying that I feel terrible for you and your children. It must break your heart to watch this unfold and know that it is out of your control.<P>I don't know the details of your situation, but keep praying that somehow your wife will find out the long term effects of her actions before it's too late. <P>God Bless you and your family.<P>

My kids were watching it too. I finally got them to go to bed and as I was turning the channel, I saw that it was on Encore network too!<P>The other night my son was watching something on TV about these kids( I think it was freaks and geeks) and this kids saw his friend's father hugging some woman. My son looked at me and said he is having affair. After a bit my son decided he wanted to go to bed early that night. He seldom does that. TV is a little too real these days. I thought it was supposed to be an escape!<P>Jim, so sorry to hear about your d. At least they caught it early and she can get help to work through it.<P>God Bless,<P>Bob

Jim,<P>I'm so sad this is happening. It's bad enough without the Disney people or a lot of others like them reminding us of these things on an hourly basis. I remember when Disney was a Sunday evening show with things like "Charlie the Lonesome Cougar" and other plots that revolved around nature, the outdoors, and the innocence we all crave.<P>Saying many Hail Mary's tonight, you are a partner to my prayers!!<P>Jay

Someone once said that we pay for our father's sins......<P>Sometimes we get caught up in our own pain, that we lose site of the fact that our children are going through a divorce also. Unfortunatly, they're being divorced from each of us.<P>Children don't deserve to be divorced <BR>It's a sad, sad time we're living in today...<P>My children are only 7mos. old and 3yrs. old and I can see the damage that's been done already showing in their little faces. I know they are too young to fully understand, but are they too young to fully feel??<P>God bless the little ones, and God have mercy on us when they grow up to be our future.<P>I wish you and your family well, as you go through your darkest hour.<P>------------------<BR>"At times - I do believe I am strong<BR> So someone tell me why, why, why...<BR>Do I, I, I.....Feel Stupid<BR> and I came undone"<BR>Rob Thomas of MB20 - " Season"<p>[This message has been edited by FeelingStupid (edited October 09, 2000).]

Hello single parents!<P>who is in charge of the TV? It appears that each of us has to know what is on the TV and control the use of the tube , instead of the children controling the remote.<P>Personally, I am very strict on the use of tv, and it does pay off. they can get very wrong messages from alot of programs, very easily. right now, all i let them see, is<BR>animal shows, discovery channel, sports and cnbc, and the old shows we grew up on, gilligan's island, etc. sometimes even the family shows puts down education, which i believe in, so i am very careful. They often throw tantrums, but i constantly explain, and they are getting better here, slowly.<P>just my opinion, but we are the guardians of their developing minds, so lets exercise that right!<P>not to be taken personally, but it might get them interested in good stuff to keep their brains occupied on developing and learning good stuff, not bad stuff.<P>thl

Dear Jim, <P>We all go through a lot of pain when divorce hits us...but we are adults and somehow we get our act together and go on. <P>But I don't think anyone knows what our kids are truly going through....and for me, this is the toughest part! I am so saddened to see them hurt, to see them struggle, to hear them when they are sad....<P>I can just imagine the turmoil this has put them through that I can't see or feel, because in their way, they are trying to protect me from any more hurt as well...I can only hope they are talking to friends, and working through their issues...<P>Jim, the best thing we can do is be the best parent we can be...not overindulge, but be there for them, keep routines going in their lives, let them know we love them and always will....<P>------------------<BR>Susan

Jim,<BR>This is the hardest part...the children who also had no say whatsoever in this mess. They have just had to accept all this...and still love both parents.<BR>How do they deal with all this, especially those that are old enough to cognitively understand the choices one and or both parents have made?<P>My 4 children are still reeling 20 months after discovery...some are navigating this mess better than others.<P>My dilemma is that I have been and still am the only parental unit!...father sees them...uncle dad living with 28 y o bimbo.<BR>So I am and always will be the one that they conflict with. Some are learning that love does not mean to enable all behaviour and therin lies the dilemma especially for my older son who I am estranged from. <P>They are all now very confused as to what a parent's role is...but then adolescents always are anyway and this has made it so much harder!<P>Of course dad thinks all are just fine...unlessthey tell him that he has in fact let them down, then he cuts them out of hi8s life for a while and they hurt big time!<BR>The damage that he has inflicted on these confused children will leave them marked for the rest of their lives...I hope that they do learn something positive from all this in the choices they make for their lives and how NOT TO BEHAVE

{{{{{Jim}}}}}<P>I'm so sorry to hear about your pain and your daughter. <P>I may be strange but I always thought Parent Trap was a story with a happy ending. Not very realistic, but kids coming together to fix a problem, parents realizing they made a mistake. <P>I hate the thought of divorce, I hate what it is doing to me, to my kids. The older is so angry, the younger is terribly sad for me and my pain. Yeah, I'll come through it all and so will they, but there wasn't anything that couldn't have been repaired in the marriage. It just doesn't make any sense, and that a D is so easy to obtain makes even less sense.<P>My thoughts are with you, Jim. Hug those kids and let them know that you love them forever.<P>Lori

{{{{{{{{{JIM}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>It's good to see you posting again, vent away. <P>I know how you feel about what they watch. I monitor things too but its hard to take things from them because it hurts us.<P>My daughter is 9 (8 when this happened) and she is depressed too. <P>Your strength and perserverance amaze me ,you are still in Plan A, I know I couldn't have done it that long.<P>I hope all is well for you, was thinking today would have been your day in court, now its not. <P>Hugs and prayers, Dana<BR>