I am almost at the end of my divorce journey. I've been searching so long for a place where I can find some very real support for all the pain and heartache one feels when going through a marital breakup. Especially if you have fought all the way to not do this!<P>I've read so many of the posts here - beginning with the first discovery of infidelity, to the struggles of working on recovering if that's possible, to how much strenght and courage some of you have gone through to get to the divorce stage. I only hope and pray that I will find that encouragement and strenght here as well.<P>In a very small nutshell (my sage could take years to write) I discovered my stbh's affair when my son was 2 years old. He is now 6. I went to counseling, then "we" went to joint counseling, then one day in January this year, H came home and told me he had "asolutely no desire to be with me any longer..." Yes that's an exact quote. One that I will never forget. So I filed for divorce. And that's where I am now.<P>I hope you all welcome me into your group as I sorely need some friends who can relate to this. <P>Hope to hear from you all soon,<P>Lizzy

Lizzy,<P>If it's support you're looking for, you've come to the right place. mb is full of the most caring and loving people I have ever met! <P>How are you doing now? <P>Be warned though...sometimes we all get a little crazy. If you've been reading posts for a while, I'm sure you've noticed that! <P>Welcome!<BR>Mitzi

Oh goody! A reply already! Thanks Mitzi! Yep, I've noticed some of the craziness, but also the heartfelt concern around here! I was actually tempted to respond to the "sex" thread but being new and all, I thought I'd keep away from that one for now.<P>How am I doing? Geez, here in CA it's only 6:20 am and I'm typing on this computer drinking coffee. Guess I'm still figuring out what to do with my life and the mess it's in. STBXH has not moved out from the house yet and that in itself is one heck of a stress factor. He refuses to move until the final settlement is agreed to. I've been told there's nothing I can do about it. Custody has been agreed to thank goodness. Now it's just property and financial stuff. We haven't even told our 6 year old yet. I'm sure he senses something is wrong but with both of us still "playing" house together I don't think we should tell him until his dad finds a place to move to. Why contribute to more anxiety than is necessary?<P>Once again, thank you for being the 1st to take me into this family of friends...<P>Lizzy

Dear Lizzy, <BR>Yes, this is a great place for support, to vent, and to recapture some of the lighter things in life!!<BR>Many of us have been here through our whole ordeal, some come in at where you are, but, most of us share the same ideas, life does go on, and if we want, we can have a truly happy relationship after divorce, whether we ever get back with our x's or move on to someone else, or desire just to grow within ourselves. <BR>The fun threads are great release, seems like so much of our lives when caught up in this are worrying and being stressed. And yes, when those times are touch, many of us come here to vent and get the support we need. <BR>So, welcome again, and post away!!<P>------------------<BR>Susan

Thanks Sue for your kind words. I'm just hoping that the final settlement will be agreed to relatively soon so my life can start over. Kinda hard to do with the stbx still living in the same house with you. Hopefully not for long. <P>Anyone else here gone through a divorce with the ex still living in same house with them? Seems like this is definately not the norm.<P>Lizzy

Hi Fisky Wabbit,<P>Welcome aboard, I've only been here for the past two weeks myself. Found MB during a flashback. You have found a group of incredibly wonderful people, and the MB philosophy is fantastic.<P>My ex and I tried to live in the same house hold for nearly six months following the decision to divorce. There certainly have been happier times in life. Hope you read some of Dr. Harleys stuff, plan A and plan B. His thinking wasn't around when we split, and as I read his columns, I sometimes wonder if we couldn't have saved our marriage if only we had access to this kind of thinking. These ideas seem to work for a lot of folks where the traditional ideas have failed.<P>Meanwhile, I stand in awe of the comfort and support this group offers to each other, and they take time out for a laugh too!<P>Praying for you,<P>Bumper<P>

Frisky Wabbit,<BR> My X and I lived in the same house, till after the Temporary Hearing told him he had to move out. He was pretty much living at his new girlfriend's home for about 4 months, but told me I had alot of audacity to ask him to move out. So, I had to get the court involved. We have 7 y/o and 11y/o daughters. He didn't see anything wrong with taking the girls back and forth between the two houses while he was still living here. It is a very difficult place to be. Especially, where the kids are concerned.