Hi friends,<P>As you know, my ex left right ON xmas last year. I have been stressed and irritated all this past week.<P>Normally I put my xmas tree up the day before Thanksgiving. Normally I cook the turkey dinner. Normally the next day I write and send out my cards, go shopping and that weekend get the kids Xmas pictures taken.<P>This year isn't normal, and I don't feel like doing a thing. I know I HAVE to for the children, the truth is I DON'T want to and that bothers me.<P>My ex even left a message on my vmail saying he and OW and her son just put up the tree and to call anytime that night!!! He NEVER did that with us and I begged. Plus this hurt our 2 of 3 daughters tremendously to find this out. (The baby is almost 3 she has no clue about that but has just developed nightmares and won't let me leave her for a minute, or cries out for daddy at night).<P>I always wanted a real tree, he said NO. That will be my first new tradition WITHOUT him. If you have any you'd like to share, I'd be happy to get some new ideas and maybe someone else is searching also.<P>Hugs and wishing for happy holidays for us all,<BR>Dana<BR>

I forgot, yes I also baked cookies, listened to xmas songs while driving around looking at lights, and own almost all the xmas movies that are out there. I'd also love to get recipes if the ladies out there are reading. Send them to me at <P>MissDMBrown@aol.com<P>Maybe I'll have a MB Xmas Day meal this year! <BR>

<BR>Every year we buy each child a Christmas ornament that pertains to something that was important to them in that year of their life. For instance, our oldest son was fascinated by tractors one year, so we sought out a tractor ornament for him that year. We also date each ornament so we know when they were given. When our kids leave the nest, we will give them their ornaments as a running start for decorating their own Christmas tree.<P>Credit my W for this wonderful idea!<P>Bystander

At the beach here, they decorate the boardwalk with about a half a million lights. I took my son down there, put the top down & we drove down the boardwalk listening to christmas music & drinking hot chocolate. He wore a santa hat & it was really cool. I plan on doing it every year. <P>Maybe someday I can use it as a holiday date idea <P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again

Dana,<P>here are two suggestions:<P>1) A special christmas ornament for each kid each year. someone else also suggested it, and I want to second it.<P>2) We have a santa hat that each person gets to wear when s/he gives out presents from under the tree.<P>3) You have the kids put lumps of coal in their dad's christmas sock at his house.<P>that's just two real ones.<P>good luck , and lets hear more suggestions<BR>from everyone!<P>WIFTTy<P>

Some of our traditions:<P>A new ornament for each kid each year (The Christmas after college graduation each will receive a package of all their ornaments with some garland and lights to decorate their first tree.)<P>Holiday PJ's<P>Watching our city's Parade of Lights together (while wearing santa hats or reindeer horns...great for embarrassing the kids!)<P>Choosing the tree together<P>Decorating the tree and the house together<P>Cooking treats for friends and neighbors and delivering them together<P>Driving around town to see the holiday decorations while listening to holiday CD's<P>I always bake fresh homemade cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning.<P>And the kids' favorite: One night each December we serve dinner on the living room floor on the 101 Dalmations Christmas comforter. We have veges/dips, sandwiches we have cut out with holiday cookie cutters, and we watch a holiday movie. (We have lots of leftovers from the outsides of the sandwiches...the adults usually munch down on these in the kitchen while making the sandwiches.)<P>(Hard to get all this and shopping/wrapping in on a joint-custody schedule. After all, how many every-other-weekends are there in December?)<P>Peace...and Merry Christmas! LLL

And for your Ex, I highly recommend you give him his very own, Personal Box of Rocks!<P>LLL : )

Yes, we have special christmas bread from my mom which X used to make. I usually eat one whole loaf every christmas afternoon. Its my christmas dinner.<P>The currents and candied fruit is marinaded in rum for several days, and then the rum is used in the dough (somehow, i can't bake)<P>tom<P>BTW 8 yo daughter is asking/wondering if Santa will still leave footprints outside in the snow, as did the reindeer hoofprints.<BR>She also asked about the ash foot prints in front of the fireplace each year. also, the kids left carrots outside on the deck, and of course in the morning, there was nothing but carrot crumbs. and Santa left a special handwritten message every christmas next to the cookies.<P>of course no one in the house writes like that either! <P>tom<P>keep up the suggestions!

We also do the ornament thing Bystander suggested...kids love getting special ornament each year.<P>Couple of other favorites...we got a glass pickle ornament years ago (I see them in catalogs all the time). It is a German tradition...you hide it on the tree on Christmas morning, and the kid who finds it gets a gift (always something small, and shareable in our house...a game they can play together, sticker pack, etc). Each of them used this when they were in first grade and asked their favorite tradition, and when my nieces come, their first q is can the look for the pickle.<P>A couple of years ago we started sharing Christmas eve spaghetti dinner w/a couple of friends in the neighborhood with kids our's ages (well, close anyway). Everyone relaxes with wine and spaghetti, and kids get lots of chance to play & run off energy before santa comes...<P><BR>

I don't have kids... but I have traditions!<P>My sister & I got orniments every year... dated & w/ our names on them. I have all of mine now, and it is a very special thing to remove them from their box one at a time and remember that year. I also like the idea of giving the orniments with lights & tinsle after graduation... really neat!<P>Many years ago, my aunt started having Christmas eve dinner... Hot dogs rosted in the fireplace, chip, etc... and we all sat around and sang carrols. Then someone (different every year) would read a Christmas story. Then we turn off the lights (except on the tree) and sing Silent Night before sending all the kiddos off to bed.<P>This year, I'm going to string popcorn & cranberries to use on My tree.... I guess I've never really cared for the metalic tinsel very much... I like the feel of an old fashioned Christmas, and a personal touch. <P>I also collect Santas from around the world, around the country and around the block... My newest addition is one made from Mt. St. Hellens ash that I got in Seattle this year. <P>Have a Holly Jolly Christmas!<BR>Butterfly<p>[This message has been edited by Butterfly (edited November 30, 2000).]

A number of ballet programs in our city do a shortened version of the Nutcracker each year. Geared for children. The one my d is in is 19 years old. The sugar plum fairy is only 17 or 18. They sell out 4 theatres full plus do a program for innercity children.<P>Gosh, I wish we had more family traditions. I do get them an ornament or two each year. This year is looking very lean, though.

Abbey and I are going to see the Nutcracker on Saturday...<P>Then Sunday I'm starting a new tradition...We are going to a tree farm and having the cut down our tree for us <P>A friend at work suggested it...they have Reindeer and other things...Should be fun!<P>Bill

Ok, I did the cranberry stringing thing but it's hard on the fingers. So, I bought wooden beads that look like cranberries! <P>This may sound a little cheesy but it's something I found in a magazine a few years ago and I do it every year. In addition to making paper chains with the kids, I trace their hands on red, green and white construction paper. Then I connect the cut out hands together and hang them in the house. It's something very personal for my kids. And it also lets them compare this years handprints to last years. <P>And the boys also take turns from year to year putting the angel on the tree. Usually their daddy holds them up to do it but I guess I'm gonna have to start beefing up so I can do it this year! LOL <BR>Hugs,<BR>Mitzi

Did you know that receiving a lump of coal in your stocking used to be a good thing. Back when people heated with wood and coal, it meant "Warm Wishes" for the new year.<P>Learned that on a tour of the beautiful, and historic, Belle Meade mansion here in Nashville where there will be a get-together of regulars on this Thread the last weekend in January.

Hi friends,<P>Thanks for all the great ideas <P>I am actually taking some time off the board and working on a book! I actually started it the month after my ex left last year but a virus on my pc destroyed it. Its been a while and I'm up to it again.<P>I will still check in every few days and if anyone wants to email me recipes, inspirational quotes, anything, do feel free to write to MissDMBrown@aol.com<P>As for the coal in his stocking, bahhh humbug, I don't want to wish him warm wishes! lol I'm nice, but not that nice! <P>I did put the tree up last Friday. Did it on my own without my boyfriend as a way to heal and "do it on my own". I threw out ex's Buffalo Bill Stocking (man that felt good). I can't seem to find any of the personal engraved ornaments from last year. Ones that had mine and ex's name. I KNOW I didn't throw them out and they're gone. What do you think of that???<P>I LOVE the idea about going to the nutcracker and tracing the hands. <P>Hugs and Happy Holidays to all my friends on the board,<BR>Dana<BR>

Glad you're doing so well. <P>You know you're coming to Nashville in January. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.