My wife of almost 15 years is moving out again - it will be the third time in the last 4 years. She has had an affair - 4 years ago - but I believe it is over.<P> We both love each other very much, but we don't seem to get along on an everyday basis. Last night we went out for dinner and I was surprised - she told me that we could date, I could stay at her place, maybe she could stay with me over night. We could have suppers together and do things together, both just as a couple, as well as with our three kids. We both admitted that we don't want anyone else, that we just want each other - but we fight too much, let the little everyday things come between us. Are we better to live in separate houses, but see each other a lot?? - more like boyfriend and girlfriend? Does anyone have an opinion on this, or have a different idea on something that they think would work for us?<P>Thanks,<P>richard<BR>

Hi Richard,<BR> I can't speak for myself, but I do know of a couple who did exactly just that..<BR> Don't remember how long they had been married, but they have 3 kids. The youngest at the time they divorced (I think they were actually divorced) was 5, I belive. They had seperate homes. Eventually, the dad bought a 3000 sq. home. They are both business owners. Well, they went on vacations,etc. being a family, but two separate homes. The kids went back and forth week on week off, but they all lived in the same town. The kids just explained it as they love eachother, but can't live together. The mom was the one who wanted her own place. Well, to make the story short, this went on for years, but I think they must be all in the same house once again, because as the oldest daughter is a Junior in HS, the mom is now expecting their fourth!!!<BR>Don't know if this helps, but it made me think of this family...only those in the situation really know.<BR>JDQ

Thanks JDQ - at least there is some others out there like me and my wife.<P>I can see me and my wife exactly, with what you mentioned about that other family that you know.<P>We own a business together, but my wife hasn't worked in it for about a year. She has just gotten a full time job and I think it should be enough to support herself - and part of it now, is that she can have the house connected with her job for $ 300/month. She will only be about a mile away from me (we live in the country). The kids would go to the same school and go on the same school bus, no matter where they stayed. <P>My wife wants this - I don't really, but you know she wants all of the benefits of being married without being married - if you follow me. There is no doubt most relationships go down hill after a couple is married. I think it might be good for us. I can see she likes me to be available for her when she wants me to help her or go to things with her and be involved with the kids - but she does also want to live her life without me expressing my opinions about it - maybe for her and I this is what it is going to take for us to be happy with each other. The only thing that worries me is about the commitment that we may have for each other. I know that I don't want anyone else - but how do I know that she is being exclusive with me??? Maybe that doesn't really change and that is what keeps people from taking each other for granted - because they don't assume that they can treat each other badly and everything is OK, cause she is my wife. I do worry about that though since I won't be there with her all of the time and know what is going on. I am afraid that all of a sudden one day she will say to me - "well, I met someone else that I really like". I don't know how I could ever deal with that. She does say however, that she wants no other man in her life - I hope that is true.<P>Anyways, thanks<P>Richard<P>