Okay folks..It's time for some encouragement for you all..<BR>First, let me tell you that last year the holiday season for me was pure you know what..and without going into too much time for details, it was the darkest time of my life EVER!! x was still living in the house, but took the girls to girlfriend's house for both Thanksgiving, and Christmas Eve. Even took them ALL to Eve service AT OUR CHURCH!!! And guess who made sure the girls looked pretty? And guess who was home by herself? My Mom said, "Honey, this makes us like steel, so that after these TRIALS we are STRONG, and whatever Satan throws at us won't "hurt" as much, or affect us as much". Well, I have survived, and continue to with more strength than thought possible. Yes, it does get better.<BR> Now, over 6 weeks ago, I think it was, I knew I was being called to apologize to my x..not to hear "I forgive you", because, that wasn't what I was doing it for. I needed to ask it for my own healing, to know that I know that that door was closed and sealed, so that I could be free to really move on in my life, and above all else, to release the Lord's blessings for me, so that He can turn these ashes into beauty.<BR>And He has!! I slept that night all the way through for the first time in I don't know how long. I felt whole, and relaxed, and peace. Quite frankly, I'm not sure I have ever felt those all at the same time, but I do NOW!! I have a developing friendship across many miles, but if it's the Lord's will that is gets serious, boy, what a testimony it will be!!It's already a great testimony how far I've come since being obedient, opening my hand and releasing everything up to Him.<BR>I will share as things develop, but for now, everyone seems to be having a hard time during this season, and I just wanted to encourage everyone, that it WILL get better. If there is any one thing that I could recommend to help..it is to KEEP BUSY!! When the tears hit and you can't stand to be in the house, go out for a walk, or something..just do something, even if you're goin through the motions.<BR>Take care, and hope that today will bring something to smile about <BR>JDQ<P><P>------------------<BR>It's the mended oyster that turns the pain into a pearl.

JDQ,<BR>What did you appologise for? I understand the principle and know that it has worked for me. I was consumed with anger at someone for 5 yrs and when I finally appologized to them for being angry, it lifted a great burden from me. Now what ever this couple does no longer angers me.<P>I know I need to do this with my x but I am not there yet. I did appologize to her early on after discovery about me taking her for granted. I don't remeber now if she accepted it or not.<P>At this point, I don't know what I would appologize for.<P>Thanks!<P>God Bless,<P>Bob

Hi Bob,<BR> Well, basically I apologized for all the pain I caused him during our breakup..note I didn't say ANY!!because no matter how, or why, any breakup hurts all involved, and I'm not guiltless. I simply accepted my responsibility for any and all the hurt, "justified" or not.<BR> I didn't "need" to hear that he forgave me, because it wouldn't have mattered if he did or not! My healing and moving on is/was not based on his acceptance, or whatever.<BR>Hope that helps. Only you will know when you're able to get to that point, but like I said, I did it for me.<BR>JDQ

I am totally confused - would you mind explaining? You apologized to your x for his leaving you?