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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 35
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My wife is moving out next weekend. <BR>There is a quick history of us at this forum on dec. 29 <P>Anyway she came back from her 4 days away new years and said that she does have to move out. See if she can make it on her own. Find out who she is. <P>Well, I've been making it as easy as possible for her. I have been going to look at apts. with her. I'm going to actually help her move her stuff out. We are still going to be in contact with each other, we both agreed to that.<P>I dont know what the heck is going on.<BR>No hugs, no kisses, no affection what so ever from her. So I have been trying to restrain myself.<P>She says that she loves me, but she is not sure if she is in love with me. Well, the feeling is not mutual. I am in love with her.<P>I just dont know what to do now. Now that it is really coming down to it(her moving out).<P>She is taking everything except for the couch and one of our tv's. <P>How does one start his life over, when the spouse doesnt know what she wants. How long am I to wait. What am I to do in the meantime. We came to the agreement that it would not be right if I didnt see other people. What!!!!! Thats what I was thinking when we was talking about this.<P>Does this sound like this marriage is on the outs?<P>She does not want to go to councling. <P>I feel as if I cant get on with my life while not knowing if this is going to work between us or not.<P>At work, everyone knows about us splitting up. I catch women looking at me. I dont know if they think I look strange or what. If I catch them, they will smile and then get back to what they were doing. It makes me feel like I'm frankenstein or something. I dont think I'm that ugly. Women dont run when I walk into the break room. <P>Hell I dont know nothing. I feel like my life has stopped, and I'm waiting on my wife to tell me what's up between us. <P>I have not lived alone for 10 years. I'm sorta scared not having anyone to come home too....Just a very empty house. At least I can get the painting done that I wanted to. LOL<P>Anyway. I cant think straight right now, so I dont know if you can make heads or tails of what I just wrote so I'll quit for now.<P>BTW If you want to see the person the women at the plant are staring at. <A HREF="http://www.mindspring.com/~runningfalcon/Me.jpg" TARGET=_blank>http://www.mindspring.com/~runningfalcon/Me.jpg</A>

Joined: Jan 2001
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Boy Howdy, Do I know what you are talking about, 10YRs and all. I guess the term is 'Been There done that'. Exactly. But I live in Texas.<P>My advice? Get the painting done, clean the house, wash the car, go far a walk, ride a bike, find a gym to work out in, mow the lawn, I read the Bible alot. Do anything, just keep busy. Try if you can to keep eating. I talked to my minister, parents, friends a alllloooottttt. <P>I can laugh about it now.. <P>Come to this board as often as you want. We are all here and will listen. <P>Believe me. You will get beyond this..<P>God Bless. <P><BR>

Joined: May 2000
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Unfortunately, I arrived at this site way too late to save my marriage. He had his wedding to wife #2 in the works by then. But a lot of people here swear by Harley's plan A. Read up on it and try it. And pray really hard.<P>Everyone here who has survived a divorce or the threat of one wants to see it work out happily and the two of you back together.

Joined: Nov 2000
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Hello from sunny New Zealand.<P>I can feel your pain and anguish right now. It is really sole distroying what is happening to you and you really feel you cant continue coping.<P>i speak from experience. Dont plan to much and live your life day by day. You will get through it even though you feel you wont. I am only 3 months down the track and still have some really bad days but I get through them from the support of people here and people around me.<P>I cant understand why she is taking everything. That is her decision to leave she is only entitled to half. You are being too nice to let her have the lot. If she wants a life on her own she has to take the goodwith the bad too, re evaluate the possessions she is takeing

Joined: Apr 1999
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Same ol' story.<P>She is very, very likely moving out so she can be with her "friend" without any (or less) interference from you. She will deny, deny, deny, even in the face of positive proof.<P>Try & do the Plan A as best you can. Don't let her see you caving in. Go ahead & do it when she is not around, but when she sees or speaks with you, then be your best.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Joined: Dec 2000
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All this advice sounds logical.<BR>How long do i give her. I know no one can give me a set time. Cripes this is hard.<BR>I have lost a little weight since she has told me about this.<BR>She says that there is no affair going on, but I cant help but wonder. She told me if she wanted to have an affair she would have done it long ago. <BR>I'm afraid that she will find that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence when she gets out on her own.all I can think about that is the grass is always greener over the septic tank.<BR>I know she will find it harder to go it alone financially. She is taking the car, and the car payment. Thats fine with me, I have my work truck.<P>I have been thinking about a legal separation for finacial liability reasons, but I think if I tell her this it will push her even further away. What does everyone here think?<P>She told me she is going over to "her" house after work this evening. <BR>It's hard to put on a happy face, when my heart is in thousands of pieces.<BR>


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