Triggers...I am not sure if the planets are moving or what but I am very sad today and now almost in tears. Someone said something about my last name and how I must get kidded a lot...(guess i am not the only poor speller in the world) and it just hit me, <P>I have been going through all the paperwork the separating of our lives and changing my name etc. and wow...it's really happening...<P>just needed to get it out...

(((cpickel)))<P>This is tough. I know that no matter what the circumstances, it's tough. Today I'm low too because my XW is even less available than your STBXH. I'm just after her on some financial housekeeping matters, but of course there are still emotions there--and it appears that she has "gone to ground" much as your STBXH has done, if not moreso. I'm aching for people to reply to my post on the subject. I need emotional support right now too.<P>I wish I had some miraculous insight for you. I don't. Except that maybe you should write <I>HIM</I> about how much you are hurting, what he has put you through and is continuing to put you through. <P>I get the impression that you are now and have been in the past taking a hard line with him. That the vulnerability that you express here is absent in your communications with him. That he doesn't <I>know</I> how much you have hurt. It's got to be so hard to tell him when you're afraid he doesn't care. Or when you've told him before and gotten no validating response back. Sometimes, though, it takes a while for us guys to get things through our thick heads. <P>Write it all out to him. Then decide whether to send it, hold it, or shred it. And then go do something nice for yourself. You deserve it.<BR>

Thanks, I am sorry you are having a hard time today as well. You hit the nail on the head though, he doesn't care. He hasn't for over a year and a half now. I am not important to him or a priority. this is not news to me...for some reason it just surfaced again. I guess we just chalk it up to a bad day...<P>You know, I really want to move on...it's just I am tired of being the responsible one...I want to drop out for a few days...you know...at work I am responsible at home I am responsible...go ahead and say it...cinderella cinderella... <P>You know what always cheers me up, is going to the bookstore...you sound like a guy who enjoys books...have you thought about heading over to a B&N or Borders for an hour or so?<BR>Maybe go look at the travel section...that is my favorite pick me up...<P>