Hi folks,<P>I know some of you are going to think I'm crazy, but here goes.<P>I have a pair of one carat total weight diamond earrings (half carat each), and a 3/4 carat diamond pendant.<P>The pendant was previously the diamond in my wedding ring. The earrings were a gift from my ex. I've worn them for nearly two years and I don't want them anymore. I've gotten rid of just about everything else he gave me except these.<P>They are of exceptional quality. Nearly flawless and excellent color and clarity. The 3/4 carat cost nearly $4000 about 10 yrs ago. The earrings cost about the same. <P>I really don't know what to do with them. I don't want to give them to any of my close friends. I think I'd feel wierd seeing them on someone else who was close to me. I could save them for my niece and have something nice made for her when she is old enough to appreciate it, but I think divorce is a huge part of her life (and will be for the rest of HER life), so I don't think she needs something like this.<P>I thought about giving them to charity. I thought about flushing them down the toilet. I know. Crazy. Nearly $10,000 in super-compacted carbon going down the toilet. As you can see, material things don't carry a whole lot of weight with me.<P>I thought about having a little lottery here on MB. Like giving them to the first poster who can guess how old my mom is, or something silly like that. Although, I don't know how anyone else here feels about getting old wedding jewelry either. <P>So, what do you think?

So do we get a range to guess your mother's age? I would guess 58 + - 2 years. <P>What I would do with them is sell them and treat yourself to a nice trip. Graduate students don't get to do that stuff too often.<P>Now the other thing you could do is donate them to my daughter. She is only 2, so will not know the significance for many years.

Grandpari,<P>If I did sell them, I'd still give the money to charity. Maybe the humane society or a battered women's shelter. I want nothing to do with these things, so even getting the money for a trip would be bad. I'd always remember that as the "diamond" trip and probably wouldn't enjoy it much. I do enjoy the idea that half my wedding china is in a landfill in Atlanta, however. Somehow, that image seems very appropriate. Maybe I'll throw these things into the ocean or into a great big hole in the ground, like ashes to ashes--go back to your motherland lonely carbon. <P>Ok, giving plus or minus years isn't fair! But nope on the age. I thought about offering a hotter/colder guess, but that wouldn't be fair to you.<P>Your daughter is 2 huh? And you wouldn't mind her having wedding jewelry with our bad vibes? I guess you aren't too superstitious. Anyone else out there?

63 years old.<P>

Ok, seriously...<P>Sell them and put the proceeds into a college fund for your niece...<P>That would be a charity...and it could bring something good out of a bad time in your life...<P>What do you think??<P>Also...how bout the WJC charity?? <P>Love ya,<P>Bill

TheStudent,<P>I'd vote for giving them to charity - like one of the organizations that train assistance dogs or guide dogs for the blind. Although perhaps the tax advantages of donation would be better after you finished your degree.

I think donating or selling them for a charitable cause is the best idea. The money can be used to help so many people in need. And, I think there is nothing better than the feeling you get when you help others in need.

I love the idea of selling them and donating the money to a charity. Some good should come out of them, don't you think? There is a program here that helps women coming out of bad marriages get job training, suits to interview in, etc...somthing similar in your area, maybe? <P>Kathi

I've given this some more thought...<P>Charity is all good and well and maybe I'm a bit selfish...<P>If I were in your shoes I would concider using that money to pay off a student loan or something to help my transition into the working world easier...<P>Or I really like the idea of the college fund for your niece...IMHO charity starts with the family...<P>I am a cynic at times and I see alot of charity organizations as bunch of bleeding heart do gooders that horde the donations to promote their charities and what's left trickles down to the actualy people that need the money...<P>If your niece has a college fund then that might not be an option...<P>I do know for a fact that the United States Marine Corp College foundation is a charity that makes sure 90+% of the donations go to the grants they give...<BR>Those grants go to the children of Marines that have died in the line of duty...Think about it...Here is a man or woman that in the service of their country loses their life and their children are often in a position where finances will not allow them to have a college fund from their parents...I am fairly certain there is an acedemic requirement for them to maintain the grants they recieve, so one can rest assured the money isn't going towards beer parties and getting laid...Call a local USMC recruiter and ask them about the details...<P>But first think about your family...<P>Bill<P>was I close one the age...I think I might have overshot by a year or two...LOL

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by kam6318:<BR><B>I love the idea of selling them and donating the money to a charity. Kathi</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I would talk to the Harleys about doing a matching grant for initial counseling sessions to some of the people on JFO and EN who can't afford it but desperately need counseling.<P>A few thousand would go a long way, and the Harley's would be smart to do it, since it would generate long term business relationships.<P>I know there are at least two cases right now I would love to pay for myself.<BR>

WOW! You guys have some great ideas!!<P>Ok, as fun as it might be to watch them swirling in my toilet bowl, it would be of much better use to a charity organization. You all have such great ideas, I don't know which to pick!<P>My sister spends everything she makes (which is alot), so I'm pretty sure my niece doesn't have a college fund. I can check that out. <P>I'm drawn to charities that involve animals too, but I'd need to make sure that most of it was not being used for administration. I could only support a humane society that had a no-kill policy. I wouldn't want my $$ ultimately going for gas or poison to kill animals. I like Nellie's idea. I know someone who has a relative that uses guide/assistence dogs.<P>I like the idea of providing matching funds for marital counseling for people who can't afford it. Kinda brings it full circle.<P>Hmm. lots to think about.<P>Hey, Bill...this one's for you!<P>"Virtues are, in the popular estimate, rather the exception than the rule. There is the man and his virtues. Men do what is called a good action, as some piece of courage or charity, much as they would pay a fine in expiation of daily non-appearance on parade. Their works are done as an apology or extenuation of their living in the world - as invalids and the insane pay a high board. Their virtues are penances. I do not wish to expiate, but to live. My life is for itself and not for a spectacle. I much prefer that it should be of a lower strain, so it be genuine and equal, than that it should be glittering and unsteady. I wish it to be sound and sweet, and not to need diet and bleeding. I ask primary evidence that you are a man, and refuse this appeal from the man to his actions. I know that for myself it makes no difference whether I do or forbear those actions which are reckoned excellent. I cannot consent to pay for a priviledge where I have intrinsic right. Few and mean as my gifts may be, I actually am, and do not need for my own assurance or the assurance of my fellows any secondary testimony."<P>--Self Reliance, Ralph Waldo Emerson<P>So....what am I posting this for? I guess I'm looking for the courage to part with these. It is a wierd feeling. In a way, I feel like I'm betraying my ex. I think he enjoyed buying things for me more than I enjoyed getting them. That is how he showed his feelings, I guess. The biggest gift he ever could have given me would have been acceptance, real love for me as a person, and ultimately, his forgiveness. Instead, he bought me diamonds. What a shame.<P>Thank you all for your suggestions!! I'm going to sleep on it tonight.<P>

Bill and Grandpari,<P>My mom is a very "young" 56! Yep, she had me when she was 20. Sheesh. I can't imagine having kids at that age. I'm scared to death now by the responsibility, and I'm 36!<P>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR> I would talk to the Harleys about doing a matching grant for initial counseling sessions to some of the people on JFO and EN who can't afford it but desperately need counseling.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I think that is a marvelous idea. It uses these items to rectify the exact reason you want to get rid of them.<P>------------------<BR>Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die

Hey TS,<P>There is a little known charity here in Pennsy you may be interested in. It's the "Prevention of the Cruelty to Zippys", a very worthwhile cause, I may add.<P>Three votes for the matching grant idea with the Harleys!!!<P>Hows it going, BTW?<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>The Pinhead

TheStudent,<P>Great. That makes me feel old - I am closer in age to your mother than I am to you. <BR>

I like the thought of a fabulous trip. Or what about a down payment on a house or condo.<P>I could also recommend a children's school. My son has a learning difference - called a learning disability by some but the children at his school maintain that they are not disabled but, rather, that they just learn in different styles - and attends the Westminster School of Nashville which serves only children with these differences. Each year they have a auction and dinner dance. I am sure that they would love to have your jewelry as auction items for next years auction. You would, of course, receive documentation (I would assume) for income tax purposes. <P>The school is the only one of it's type in middle Tennessee and serves children from kindergarten through a transitional ninth grade. Several families have relocated from other regions simply to allow their child to attend this school. They are building a new, state-of-the art facility with plans for adding a high school. The school is open to children from all backgrounds and has a marvelous scholarship program to help those, such as my son, who would not otherwise be able to attend. Should you wish to further consider this, let me know and I can put you in touch with the development office or the head of the school. By the way, the head of the school stands outside the door each morning to great AND shake hands with each student as s/he arrives for the day.

Hi Nellie,<P>How are you doing?...((((big hug)))<P>I see your sense of humor is returning <P><BR>Cinderella,<BR>I thought about the downpayment on the house after I graduate. Actually, I thought about selling all of the furniture left over from my marriage (a few of them are some pretty nice antiques) and any thing else of value. Not only would I not have to move much, but I could totally start over with a clean slate. No more reminders hanging around. I wanted to do that so bad about two years ago, but my more practical side took over. <P>The only thing that bothers me about that is that my new house will still be a "connection" to that marriage. Although, I think I'm just kidding myself here. Selling everything I own won't rid me of my damned memory. I can't remember the things I want to remember (like stuff for class), but can't forget the things I would like to (like memories from this marriage). <P>Thank you for your suggestions. I know your son's school would be very deserving as well. Although my niece isn't considered a special learner, I'm afraid her emotional problems are going to be severe someday. There are already some signs. My sister and my niece are both in counseling. So, I'm afraid that I'd have to consider her first.

So my guess was within how many standard deviations of the mean? Oh wait, only one case, there is no mean.<P>Tell your mom she is as young as she feels. I had my first kid at 16, which is why my name is grandpabri at 41.<P>I'll show you pictures if'n you want.<P>I like the idea of sending them to a charity. I am partial to educational charities, myself. Maybe something to help welfare moms and dads get the skills to help them become that overused term "self-sufficient." I know a really good organization, if you are looking for names.

You know I cannot resist being sarcastic so here it goes folks-give them to a charity for the seeing eye dogs and ask for them to actually have the dog wear the earings!! Couldn't resist...No I am not saying go out and pierce the dogs ears I LOVE DOGS!!! Just a funny thought-a seeing eye dog wearing these expensive earings that their owner can't even see??? Thats funny!!

Hey TS,<P>If Bill has a charity foundation so do I....<P>The jamie-lee foundation! Pick Me , Pick Me! LOL. <P>Just kidding, but I do think that you might want to pay off some student loans as Bill said. The only way you can ever be a help to others is to help yourself first. <P>------------------<BR><B>God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...Courage to change the things I can...And the wisdom to know the difference.</B><P>lady_divine77@yahoo.com<p>[This message has been edited by jamie-lee (edited February 23, 2001).]