I have been missing my husband terribly. Anyhow, (see my prior post, "letter to my husband") I actually met with a man last night-just to talk. It was so weird, I felt like I was cheating, there was no love connection (although, he did ask me out again). It just feels so weird, but why should it, I mean come on, my husband saw no problem with dating someone, making long term promises to someone----and it wasn't with me!!!!!!! <BR>I don't think I am ready to date, but most everyone around me thinks I should and that it would be good for my self esteem.<BR>While I was talking with this man last night, I kept comparing him (in my head) to my husband (STBX). I am sure this is normal.<P>I do wonder how my letter will be received by my husband. I am actually kind of scared to pick up the phone, as I think my husband will call me and will be upset. He'll perceive it to mean that I am not moving on. Ugh, I just can't win.<BR>

You know I met a guy last night for coffee. No love connection but it was in my mind a baby step. I understand where you are. Totally.<P>Sometimes are friends just want us to be happy, not alone. But you have to go in your own time. <P>I went last night...and know I am not quite ready. I don't like dating...felt to me like I was being interviewed. Which is not a good sign for a love connection...<P>who knows. Don't give up hope and cut yourself some slack. Listen to your gut...if you aren't ready don't push it...no harm in spending quality time by yourself.

I didn't rush things in that area. Truly feel ready now. After all, it's been over two years since it was final. However, I encounter an absolute void of men. Maybe one day.<P>I didn't worry about it though. I read a paraphrase of something Augustine said and it made sense to me. And maybe that was part of why I didn't panic. Didn't rush things. <P>"To have peace, you have to know yourself.<BR>And to know yourself, you have to be alone."<P>So take a while. Don't worry. And get to know yourself. Then it will be time to get to know someone else.<P>

The man I met the other night called me to ask me out again. I don't think I am ready for this, but man is it hard to say no.<P>Anyhow, my husband should have received my letter by today!!!!!!! I hope it is received well. I miss him, what do you all think; even though he is pre-occupied with the OW, do you think that he could be missing me at all?????<P>Why do I miss him, he basically was a bast#*! to me. Do you think that I miss the thought of him? Babble babble babble, I have been reduced to a babbling fool!!!!!!<BR>

Dear Rejected,<P>I rushed into a relationship with someone new and regret it deeply. I hurt myself and the man I met because I felt vulnerable and wanted to feel loved.<P>I know what you mean about feeling like you're cheating, even just with a coffee date. I think that happens because you still feel a loyalty to your husband, even if he is your stbx. After all, you have been his "wife" for years, and it's hard to let go of the feelings that go along with the label.<P>Also, that is probably why you miss him even though he was a bast*** when he was with you. You feel that loyalty and love still, despite that.<P>------------------<BR>I just want to sit in the garden in peace~~<P>*Statue*