Do we have any alimony/spousal support/maintenance experts out there? I'm from Kansas and don't believe that I should have to pay that much. My STBXW on the other hand thinks that I should fully support her. More info if requested.

LostHusband,<P>I am just north of you (NE). Here a person can get temporary alimony, during the phase between filing and the divorce becoming final. Although spousal support becoming permanent is "nil". Your attorney can prove the other person does have an earning capacity. I saw in your other post she worked 70% of your marriage. Legally here in Nebraska permanent alimony is pretty hard to come by.<P>Sorry to read your news but welcome aboard, you'll find some great people here!<P>Ragamuffin<P>

Hi there. I would suggest you go over to <A HREF="http://www.divorcenet.com" TARGET=_blank>www.divorcenet.com</A> They have state board where you can ask questions like that and get good info. Not that the info here isn't good, but they specialize in that stuff over there.

Thanks for the advise. Naturally, that site has no info on Kansas.

I, too want to know about this as well. I'm from California and my H wants me to alimony for him because he makes less than me. Is it possible? He has a job and pay him pretty good too but still less than me. Now, he's asking the attorney for me to pay the diff. :-( Anyone has any idea on this?

Davy-<P>In California, spousal support (SS) is based on the marital standard of living (MSOL). A term of art, not science. My understanding, from my lawyer and all other sources I have consulted is that for marriages of less than 10 years, the rule of thumb is that SS is awarded for 1/2 the duration of the marriage. However, it is usually only awarded if there is a significant difference in the two person's incomes, and if one of them needs to be retrained. There are no guidelines for permanent (after settlement) SS, only for temporary. So the judge can pretty much do what he/she wants.<P>For example, our date of separation put our marriage at 9 years two months (whew!). Our MSOL was about 35K. I make more than that now, but too bad for her. She was a restaurant manager, making 30K at the time of our separation. I was a grad student, making almost nothing. She does not need to be retrained. Soi my lawyer, and everyone I talk to, says she has a snowballs chance to get SS. <P>If the marriage is longer than 10 years, state law says that the court MUST have indefinite jurisdiction over SS. That means that your husband coukld go after you for SS until one of you dies or he gets remarried.<P>Go on over to the divorcenet board. There are a number of people that are very good on these issues, some lawyers and some not.<P>Good Luck to you.

Lost Husband-Try the Father's Right to Custody board. There is a guy over there, TGB, that has links to the law for just about every state. Post your question and someone will be along to answer after a bit.<P>Try this link <A HREF="http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tgbks.htm" TARGET=_blank>http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tgbks.htm</A> <P>Good Luck

I'm in Ohio. My wife petitioned for temporary spousal support while our divorce is pending. She has a graduate degree, and she had a quarter-time position giving her an income somewhere between one-fifth and one-fourth of mine. We have no children, and there are no health factors preventing her from working full time. She chose <I>not</I> to work full time because there were other things she liked to do with her time, and I made enough money that she didn't <I>need</I> to work full time.<P>My wife resigned suddenly from her job two weeks prior to filing for divorce, leaving her with negligible income, and she did not seek other employment. The magistrate awarded her approximately one-third of my monthly net income, which leaves me several hundred dollars short of being able to cover my expenses each month.<P>It remains to be seen whether that award will hold up. (I have contested it.) There is no question that my wife is capable of supporting herself, but the ways of the courts are mysterious and arbitrary.<P>According to the Bible, "to whom much is given, of him much shall be required." According to the courts, "from him who has already given much, much more shall be required, whether he has it or not." My generosity through our marriage, in providing my wife with the opportunity to do pretty much anything she wanted, is now being used against me.<P>This, I understand, is pretty typical.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by GnomeDePlume (edited March 16, 2001).]

GDP-<P>Don't know the ins and outs of the law in Ohio, but here in California, one can ask for a vocational evaluation. This is often used when one of the parties is working below their capability. Usually for child support, though. The evaluators will determine what the fair market value of her education and experience. Then they can impute her income based on the evaluation. The judges here also usually require both parties to be self-sufficient after a time. With an advanced degree, unless the skills are very dated, she should be working full-time.

When my H left, I had been a SAHM of six kids for three years. I hadn't worked full-time in 12 years. It took me six months to find a part-time job, paying less than half (per hour) of what my H was earning, so therefore I was earning less than a quarter of what he was earning. We were married for 20 years. In my state, according to my lawyer, I would not get ANY alimony for any period of time, because he was paying child support. And he only has to pay slightly more than the amount of child support he would pay for 3 kids, because the first consideration in this state is that he has a "reasonable" amount to live on. There is no comparable consideration for whether the children have enough to live on.

GDP,<BR>Where are you in OH. I'm west of Akron. My x did not seek SS. My lawyer felt she would not get it because she was making a liveable wage working part time as a nurse. <P>She pays CS based upon the formula. She pays based on what the guidelines say for 2 kids and for which her income was 30% of our gross. I guess it varies form county to county, but I had heard my county (Medina) was pro-male. X's attorney originally suggested we take it to another county so there woundn't be adverse publicity(I am such a big name ) He forgot about the residency stipulations though.

In NJ alimony is hard to come by. The court takes into account, earning potential, age, education, and the length of the marriage. NJ is also an equal opportunity state, so SS is not only for women, some men get it as well. I work with a woman who has to fork out a large sum to her ex because he claims he has no income; he is disabled. The guy has several rental properties and works under the table...so many men do this so they don't have to pay child support. It comes down to how savy your attorney is. Anyway, if you didn't have kids and had been married less than 10 years, no spousal support. Most of the time the courts will allow what they call rehabilitative alimony, which is geared to let the one party have time to get some kind of marketable job skill and get a job; it usually is for about two years. The only given is child support and that is based on the state's guide lines and the income of the parents. The more money you make...the more you have to pay. <P>I know I hear a lot of men moan and groan over child support. I know for me it comes out to a little over $200 a week for two kids. It's ridiculous because that amount barely feeds two adolescent boys, but hey, its better than nothing. No SS here. <P>It is a well known fact, well here in NJ, that when a woman goes in to see a lawyer to consult over a maybe divorce, she is adviced to not get a job if not working or stay where she is even if it is p/t. Why? Because the less she makes the more she is liable to get. So, most who are emotionally distraught anyway, take the advice of their attorney. I know, I was told the same thing. I, on the other hand, knew you can't get something that isn't there and continue looking for greener pastures in the workworld. <P><p>[This message has been edited by Lonelysoul (edited March 17, 2001).]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by RWD:<BR><B>GDP,<BR>Where are you in OH. I'm west of Akron.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I'm not in your county. More than that I'd rather not say. I reveal a lot of personal details on this site, and if anybody I know is reading it, I'd just as soon keep them guessing.<BR>