Hi HopeAZ,<P>Ditto. Stick to your numbers. Don't neogiate for his interests because he may not have your family's interest in his heart or pocketbook. If he does, that is good. <P>I hope he is somewhat reasonable. <P>Take Care,<BR>L.

Stage... <P>In and out of acceptance, I think.<P>Looks like you are sick of dealing with him. Do not show that he is getting to you. It will drive him crazy. He'll know the clock is ticking. Tick, Tick, Tick.<P>Custody of daughter....<P>It'll be joint custody, but my daughter's residence is determined by my residence. I didn't need character witnesses or anything. My STBX has threatened to fight for custody, get character witnesses, blah blah blah. I just respond in an unphased manner, "I let my lawyer know". Early on, I told her that I would fight her "Tooth and Nail". I have the money (I'll pull it from retirement if necessary) and I have the time (It's best to not get into another relationship too soon). She always backs off. I received the final divorce decree with changes from my lawyer today. Everything should be the way I want it.<P>Have a good weekend.<P>Kevin

Hi Kevin,<P>I don't really know. I would like to think I am in the acceptance stage. I guess it is something I will learn as I go. Some information came my way today that was humorous. Can't really share it now, I am laughing too hard. Either OW is playing with WS in an attempt to make me look bad or OW's H is playing a bad trick on the both of them. Not sure. I think it is the first one. This is about the 3rd time OW has panicked WS and WS can't prove OW's claims. 1st one OW claimed to be pregnant, 2nd OW said I sent a e-mail that threatened her life because she took my H and now this one. <P>Anyway, all their attempts to make me look bad is backfiring. I wish I was guilty of what I am being accused of, it actually kind of funny. I need to compose myself before I write it down. Maybe later this weekend. Sorry for the suspense, this is not intentional. <P>Kevin, you sound as if you are handling all that D info fairly well. I hope you have someone you can talk with and can help you through these trying times. I know I will need that when the time comes. I have a strong support group both around me and at this board. I am grateful for this. <P>My MIL called me today and said she and her XH (my FIL) are reviewing their wills and beneficiary info. They have other children but H was the executor. Both no longer trust his judgement and the need to make other arrangements. I have never seen that discussed here before, but think it is important. That is why I have been keeping his family informed. Not to turn them against him but so that if they need to do something, they are not left in the dark. I guess that is why I resent those who want to keep everything a secret. <P>Oh, just wanted to mention when you said about retirement. Is there a clause or do you know if you are required to give your W a portion of your retirement when you are entitled to it? Sometimes that is in the retirement agreement even if there is a D. Check it out, don't want you to get stiffed. I think there should be a separate post for this kind of thing. I know someone who went through this. <P>Lack of trust, dishonesty, disloyalty, unfaithfulness affect many parts of our lives. When the WS does this, the affect is rippling. How foolish that the WS's think they can have this A and not affect anyone. <P>Need to go and get dinner. Suppose to go on a picnic tomorrow with my cousin's family. My son is going fishing. <BR>Yes, I can bait, catch and clean fish. My dad made sure he did not raise a wimpy daughter. ha ha. <P>Have a nice weekend also. <P>L.

Hi all,<P>I feel the need.... to lighten up this post a little. Yes, I still need answers to some of my questions on the other post but since laughter is the best medicine, I would like to bring some your way.<P>Please look up the thread: The Laundry Bag and OW's H. This is the story I was referring to here in my post last night. Hope we (Ws's and friends) can all look back on this and have a good laugh someday. Right now his pride level is way too high on the richter scale to let his sense of humor show through. Oh well.... <P>Have a nice day.<BR>L.

A major bump for this thread. Can't stick it in my sig line anymore. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

L.

Thanks for the reminder of stages. Over the last 2 years, I have experienced all except acceptance. Just now moving to acceptance as I am to submit divorce papers - noncontested tomorrow. Good to know I can still go back to other stages. Only one I will not go back to is bargaining. Still tonight, I feel so very sad - depression - and won't see a single person other than our 10 yr old for weeks - school vacation. I absolutely prefer these periodic moments of intense sadness - regret - depression than the anger and denial in the past. Moving toward acceptance.... He is so willing to sign anything I want - noncontested decree - that I am also feeling a bit of anger tonight. Want this season of pain to be over....