Hello,<BR>I am new on this site. I was just browsing the web site and ran across this web site. I have read a lot of interesting topics. My prayers are with all of you. I am asking for anyone that believes in God and believe his will be done in my life to help me understand why I can not move on with my life. I am a 35 year old female, I was married for only 2 years and in those 2 years the Lord bless me with a beautiful baby girl, by my husband. I shall never forget on the day of our anniversary when I told him, his comments where just, Oh!. And we had been praying and asking God to bless us with a child. This is my first child and my first marriage. <BR>I started figuring out that my marriage was falling apart when he got a pager and from there he started working late, then he would have to go work on Sunday's and he never wanted to work on Sunday's. I never stop trusting him, but I did approach him and asked him was something going on that I needed to no about. He said everyting was fine. My annivesary was in July 1999 in August 1999 he said he did not want his marriage anymore. I was four months and I was completely stunned. I tried to talke with him but he would not talk, he said that I aggervated him. So I stop communicatin with him unless he called. I was under so much pressure until I had to be restricted from work and put to be bed. The only income that I had was mine. He never came to any of the Dr.'s appointments, he never called just to see how I was doing are anything. And if he did call he would call and just say that things could not work out. <BR>So in December 1999 I asked not to call anymore because it was to much of strain on me and the child. So far I was doing good. I found out later the lady that I thought was messing around with my husband, that told me to my face that she was not, was seeing my husband, they had moved in together. I continue to work part-time and my hours had been shorten by employer because of health reason. My child was due March 1st my last day at work was January 31st. <BR>I managed to get the baby nursery and everything ready, He did not contribute to any of this. I 5 days past my due date March 1 2000. I had made up in my mind I was not going to call him, I left to go to the hosiptal and my sister contacted him and did show up to my surprise. Shortly after 14 hours of labor and I delivered, he left. He did show any kinda of concern or happiness about the birth of our child.<P>I did not hear from him any more, When I did arrive home, I had a message on my voice mail that my employer did not need me anymore and that the poistion that I had was no longer available. I did not have a job to return to, my benifits were terminated immediatly and I did'nt have anything, all my savings were put into my child nursery, I lost my home, I lost everything. As time went Nvember of 2000 he married the young lady that was a memeber of the church we both attended and that he was living with. I still have not been able to understand what is going on and why. This young lady was married as well. They both filed for divorce at the same time.<P>I love my husband, When I found that I was completely destroyed, He has not had a relationship with his daugheter since she been in the world. He did not come for her first baptism, first thanksgiving, first christmas, and the saddest is he missed her first birthday party. <P>I feel like my husband made a decision of allowing the devil to destroy his marriage. To make this topic short. I still love my husband, not because he is the father of my child, but because, I felt that when I prayed to God and asked him to bless me with a husband, he blessed me with this man. I do believe that God knows what is best for me. I have tried to move on with my life as well as trying to block memories and my ex-husband out. But each day I am reminded of him. I finally got a call from my ex-husband and he wanted to see the baby, but he wanted to take somewhere, which means away from me. I don't really don't trust him with her by his self. I bascially told him that I have not had problem with yu having a relationship with his daughter and that I have no problem with him coming to get her. The only problem I have is that you have a wife that betrayed me and I will not allow my daughter to be around her. After I made that statement, he hung the phone up in my face. And to this day I have not heard from him. In my mind I said I hope I did the right thing.<P>It has been 1 year since our divorce. I have not met anyone nor have I been involved with anyone, because my heart is still with him. <P>I want to be happy, feel my happiness is with him. Our child does not even have a relationship with him to no who he really is. Because I think of him all the time. And you would think a year is enough time to aleast heal a litte.<P>Did I make the right decision<BR>A cry for Help!!<P>

I am so sorry for your pain. I can understand a small part of what you went through. My H had his A starting in my 5th month lasting until 2 wks before she was born. Luckily for me he was VERY interested in being a father, otherways I am sure he would be gone too.<P>I think that you have held up very well under that situation. I'm not sure I could have done as well as you have. You must be a VERY strong person.<P>Hugs...

You are a righteous wife, to say the least. God has heard you, I am sure of that. Go here:<BR> <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org" TARGET=_blank>http://www.restorem.org</A> <BR>You will read some very encouraging news there. You have done the right thing in God's eyes. I applaud your faith in God, and your marriage. I admire your faith in your ex-husband. I pray for the restoration of my marriage, as well. My circumstnces are similar, but with much larger numbers. My ex-wife divorced me May 23, 2001 after 18 years and four children. She lives one block away, and is sleeping with a (former) friend of mine. It has destroyed several families, starting with my ex-wife's parents' marriage, and it is spreading throughout her world. I am certain that other marriages will succumb 'around' them soon. So far, there are three marriages ruined.<BR> I hope that you and your daughter continue to receive blessings from God, and I pray that your life gets better, regardless of how things turn out. Please see to that, just like you have so far.<p>[This message has been edited by waiting_for_her (edited June 10, 2001).]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by connorsmom:<BR><B>I am so sorry for your pain. I can understand a small part of what you went through. My H had his A starting in my 5th month lasting until 2 wks before she was born. Luckily for me he was VERY interested in being a father, otherways I am sure he would be gone too.<P>I think that you have held up very well under that situation. I'm not sure I could have done as well as you have. You must be a VERY strong person.<P>Hugs...</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Thank you for your hugs, (right back at you) Congrats. I wish you all the happiness. I hope one day soon I will find the same happiness.<BR>It's been very hard. I still have days where I just can't live with out him.<P>Thanks<P>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by waiting_for_her:<BR><B>You are a righteous wife, to say the least. God has heard you, I am sure of that. Go here:<BR> <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org" TARGET=_blank>http://www.restorem.org</A> <BR>You will read some very encouraging news there. You have done the right thing in God's eyes. I applaud your faith in God, and your marriage. I admire your faith in your ex-husband. I pray for the restoration of my marriage, as well. My circumstnces are similar, but with much larger numbers. My ex-wife divorced me May 23, 2001 after 18 years and four children. She lives one block away, and is sleeping with a (former) friend of mine. It has destroyed several families, starting with my ex-wife's parents' marriage, and it is spreading throughout her world. I am certain that other marriages will succumb 'around' them soon. So far, there are three marriages ruined.<BR> I hope that you and your daughter continue to receive blessings from God, and I pray that your life gets better, regardless of how things turn out. Please see to that, just like you have so far.<P>[This message has been edited by waiting_for_her (edited June 10, 2001).]</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><BR>Thank you for your encouraging words. I still pray that od will restore my marriage. I can't give up. I just really believe God joined us together. <P>My prayers go out to your Xwife. Sometime it's take everything around you to crumble to realize what you have or had. Stay strong. Keep God first. The bible states that you sow you shall reap. She is reaping that she has sowed.<P>I would like for you to keep me updated as I will with you.<P>I praying for you.<BR>I have a questions to asked, I would like to no. DO you still love her? <BR>

Hi BNG.<P>I also live in the big D. <P>{{{{{{{{BnG}}}}}}}}}}}}<P><BR>It'll be OK. Just hang on. I promise you will feel better soon. And I agree, he will reap what he has sown. <P>I can't help but to think that something else happened before you told him you were pregenant? Before the pager part.<P>Tex.. <P>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by AgoodManInTexas:<BR><B>Hi BNG.<P>I also live in the big D. <P>{{{{{{{{BnG}}}}}}}}}}}}<P><BR>It'll be OK. Just hang on. I promise you will feel better soon. And I agree, he will reap what he has sown. <P>I can't help but to think that something else happened before you told him you were pregenant? Before the pager part.<P>Tex.. <P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>Hi, It's good to know you are from Texas, <BR>I must asked you a question, what did you mean by, "Something else happened before you tolf him I was pregenant?"<P>

You make the statement in your post:<P>"but I did approach him and asked him was something going on that I needed to no about. He said everyting was fine. My annivesary was in July 1999 in August 1999 he said he did not want his marriage anymore."<P>You had a gut feeling that something was wrong. What was it that you were thinking was wrong?<P>Tex.

{{{{{{Believing}}}}}}}}<P>My heart goes out to you and your child. The total feeling of rejection and abondonment is devastating to say the least. Is your daughter beautiful? I bet she is and I bet youlove her to death. My exH left me after 7 yrs of marriage in November of 2000. Our court date was yesterday. To see your spouse reject you and come to life in another relationship hurts alot. My exH did not want children but left me for someone that is 5 yrs older than us with 3 children. You will make it. God is with you. A good web site is Ivillage.com. Its a womans web site. Is your exH sending you child support. If he would like to see his daughter he needs to also provide with her. I would suggest supervised visitation. Do not trust him alone with your child if you have any second thoughts. You have lost alot the past couple of years and you are one strong cookie!! Hang in there we are here for you!!!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by AgoodManInTexas:<BR><B>You make the statement in your post:<P>"but I did approach him and asked him was something going on that I needed to no about. He said everyting was fine. My annivesary was in July 1999 in August 1999 he said he did not want his marriage anymore."<P>You had a gut feeling that something was wrong. What was it that you were thinking was wrong?<P>Tex.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>My first thought was of course maybe he was becoming involved with someone. I did not want to be wrong, But I was cleaning out the SUV one day and found a contract for a cell phone with of course the cell number that I was calling in the contract was in her name. I immedatley called her and asked and she said she thought I new that she had gotten the cell phone for him. she had a friend that worked for a cell phone company and she helped her to get him a phone. So after that conversation I left it alone. (knowing in the back of my mind that she would probably call him and tell him I called). Then I approached him and he said that his brother got him the cell phone and he was very angry that I had to call her and confirmed "his business". After that conversation I left the situtation alone. Apparently it did not rest easy with her because she came to me again and said that she was not messing around with my x-H. And again I told her that it was okay. And the next then I new he was leaving.<P>What's up with that "A GOOD MAN IN TX"<BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by White Dove:<BR><B>{{{{{{Believing}}}}}}}}<P>My heart goes out to you and your child. The total feeling of rejection and abondonment is devastating to say the least. Is your daughter beautiful? I bet she is and I bet youlove her to death. My exH left me after 7 yrs of marriage in November of 2000. Our court date was yesterday. To see your spouse reject you and come to life in another relationship hurts alot. My exH did not want children but left me for someone that is 5 yrs older than us with 3 children. You will make it. God is with you. A good web site is Ivillage.com. Its a womans web site. Is your exH sending you child support. If he would like to see his daughter he needs to also provide with her. I would suggest supervised visitation. Do not trust him alone with your child if you have any second thoughts. You have lost alot the past couple of years and you are one strong cookie!! Hang in there we are here for you!!!</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>you are the strong one, I have not seen my x-h since.......and if I had to see him I don't no what I would do. My prayers are with you. Only the strong survives. You will be a survive. With God on your side you will survive. The grass always look greener on the other side, and sometimes it is and sometimes it is not. I hate it for him.<P>I have always asked myself why do men(some men) have there own family, after a while in there marriage they find everything wrong with it. Go out and find the same or worse than what he has to take care. In other words why do men (some men) go out find a women that has 2 or more kids to take care of and neglect to take care of there own. I am so confused with that. Just like women (some women) they rather leave on childern with a family memeber to go take care of another women to be with that man, and failed to realize if he life his own family and wife what make the other women so different than his wife. Life is so confusing, but we will understand it better by and by.<BR>No this, It is his lost and your gain. Everything that looks good is not good for you. Eve though he feels his life has gone own with his newly found family. Remember you was married to him for 7 yrs and you no him best. And as far as her being 5 yrs older than you, She is looking for what ever she can get out of it. Always remember this coming from a new mother, she will always have some kinda of feelings for her childs father, and remember if that child has some kind of relationship with there dad, they will always have to communicate. And in the event you X-h cannot provide are give her what she wants not what she needs, she can always use her escape goat (THE BABY"S DAD) and believe this it want last long.<P>If you still have strong feelings for your husband and really believe that God joined you together. We will for the restoration of your.<P>I as pray: <BR>Lord saved this marriage before it is to late. Lord, you no what it a stands in need of. I am asking in your name that you cast away the devil, take the away from this marriage, restore the joy and happiness that brought it together. For we no that all things are possible if we believe, and believe that this marriage can be saved. Asked right now that you for give where forgiveness needs to be forgiven, bring this marriage back together as you joined it together.<P>Before I close give this sister in christ strength to endure what ever comes her way. We love you Lord, We adore you and we Praise you right now. We think you for the storm if we did not have these problems we would not no that you can solve them. You are a problem solving God. I asked this prayer in the name of Jesus.<P>Go in peave White Dove.<BR>Keep in touch<P>

I read your thread because I thought you might feel the way you do about marriage, and how it is God's plan, etc. My handle is still waiting_for_her, because that is what I am doing. I love her in the only way I can now: agape. This whole experience is teaching me how to love completely without expectation...and with strength. There are many paradoxes here. For example, I love her, but I cannot show any sort of reliance, need or weakness to her at all. Most of the tools we use to make a connection are unavailable to me right now, they are in the hands of her OM, my former friend. (Yes, but I had 18 years, buddy...good luck with that, even in her fog.)<P>I pray for restoration of my marriage, and yours, but I am concerned about his not taking care of her properly. Well, they are aliens, now aren't they?<P>{{{{{believe_n_god}}}}}

I think you need to realize what I feel AGMIT was trying to explore, which is that 'the devil' can't get at a good marriage that way. Translated into practical terms, people that are getting their needs met NEVER look outside the marriage for having them met. In other words, what was missing from the marriage...he had to have given you a clue...read about ENs elsewhere here, and also LoveBusters...you need to find out WHY this happened...concrete reasons, not abstract ones. This is the secular world, and that is where he left you to go to, not the OW. I urge you to visit <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org" TARGET=_blank>http://www.restorem.org</A> just click on the link, and read your story with a happy ending, okay? PLEASE?

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by waiting_for_her:<BR><B>I think you need to realize what I feel AGMIT was trying to explore, which is that 'the devil' can't get at a good marriage that way. Translated into practical terms, people that are getting their needs met NEVER look outside the marriage for having them met. In other words, what was missing from the marriage...he had to have given you a clue...read about ENs elsewhere here, and also LoveBusters...you need to find out WHY this happened...concrete reasons, not abstract ones. This is the secular world, and that is where he left you to go to, not the OW. I urge you to visit <A HREF="http://www.restorem.org" TARGET=_blank>http://www.restorem.org</A> just click on the link, and read your story with a happy ending, okay? PLEASE?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>As stated he said that he was not happy anymore. After 2 years of marriage. That was his only reason. f it was for sex, he got that. If it was money we had that, love I gave him that a friend I was that before we lovers and we became married. SO as far as what he left for I still have no clue. If he went looking to find happiness then say that but how happy can you be when you are messing with someone elses wife. I will read the web you e-mail.<P><BR>Thanks <BR>