I have known about this for several weeks. Our divorce will be final in a few weeks, but got a good look at the profile today and can't believe it...<P>My husband is a serious sexual addict - couldn't be faithful if he truly wanted to - cause he sees nothing wrong with his behaviour, after all - it is just for fun and (I love this one) 'Everyone is doing it'...<P>Well - the profile stated - he is 'TOTALLY FAITHFUL' - ya right, well - I can hope and pray - that is his new goal in life, but after 20 years of the stuff he has pulled - I don't think it is possible for him - maybe this next time. <P>His general 'perfect match' seemed to be everything I am not - geeze - if I was that bad - why did he stay 20 years? Probably cause I was an easy doop that believed his lies and put up with the abuse.. ouch!<P>Sorry - just needed to vent somewhere - j

I know what you mean - had one of those too! And we were together for 20 years also (married 14 of it).<P>I don't think that these kind of guys don't love you, it's just that they are all a bunch of Clintons who "compartmentalize". Geez, I hate that word. I think they have a wife they love, but still get off by the dangerousness of sneaking around. Eventually, I believe the guilt get to be too much for them or it becomes such a way of life that they get sloppy about covering up and get caught. Then they try really hard to cover it back up and finally quit when they realize they can't. Am I right!<P>I was cleaning out the house for my "garage sale" and found a little piece of paper in an old box he was using for nuts and bolts. It was a movie title from a TV guide that he had torn out carefully around the edges and put it in there. Creepy. The movie was "In Dangerous Company" rated R dated '88. Just another clue to me back then had I been lucky enough to find it - it would have been before my kids were born. Oh well.<P>Hang in there - the women he's attracted to are the losers who are willing to sleep with a married man and wreck families and he will reep what he's sown. You'll be the happy one in the end and he'll be the miserable old geezer still chasing pretty girls (blah!).<BR><P>------------------<BR>Kathy

That is the general concensus among the family and friends that have known us and know what really happened between us.<P>It is still very hard to see him go this way, but I can't help any longer - I know that. <P>It is still hard. J

I'm very sorry for you. Yes it is hard, even after finding out what they've been up to for all those years, because the only memories you really have is of the man you THOUGHT was very decent.<P>In a way, we don't really fit the pattern where the marriage deteriorated after years of not meeting eachother's needs. It didn't matter how many needs I met or didn't, he was a cheater from the beginning before we were even married. The love he had for me he destroyed on his own because of what he was doing on the side. He'd go off and let other women do who knows what to him and then come home to me, the person where reality rested, the person with the bills, the throwing up babies, etc. etc. How could I ever compete; I didn't know I had anything to compete against. As far as I knew, I had a husband who loved me and I loved back. I thought everything was fine and normal. His love for me died because of his own screwing around. But that's why it's hard for us, because we thought everything was normal and we were faithful and in love with our husbands - and WOW! what a revelation when we found out the whole thing was a lie.<P>It is kind of sick that he's putting ads in the paper. Take care.<P>------------------<BR>Kathy

Wow - thanks for writing, someone who actually gets it....I have been picked on here because I gave up - actually I didn't give up - he did, said he wanted the marriage and he loved me, blah,blah,blah - however - he would not change, saw nothing wrong with his activities, wanted the marriage, but as it was...<P>I couldn't compete - didn't even know there was something to compete with.<P>He has no idea what he did to me and I feel so sorry for the next poor soul that falls in love with him. He will repeat this pattern unless he gets help. <P>I was broadsided when I learned of the last one - had NO idea and actually thought our marriage was in the best shape it had ever been in our 20 years together. We were trying to have a baby. Geeeze!<P>His habit of choice is the internet - I found evidence last time of 5 woman, I know there were more - bleck! <P>Thanks for writing Kathy -