And you and your spouse don't, that is a major determiner of whether the affair lasts.<P>My H was never unemployed more than a few weeks during the quarter of a century I've known him. Within months after moving in with the OW, he changed jobs and shortly thereafter was laid off. That was 15 months ago. I doubt that he will ever find permanent work again. But then again he will never need to work again - the OW is fairly wealthy, and only works occasionally herself. I suspect she is supporting him on her alimony/child support from her wealthy ex-husband. <P>The child support was cut by 2/3. Because of the way child support is structured in this state, if I earn more, he pays less, enough less that it is not worth it for me to earn more, at least not any amount I can reasonably expect to be able to earn. The kids and I are living near the poverty level, and there is no way around it. I have run the numbers under numerous scenarios, and it always comes out the same - I can't support the kids on my income (even though I am employed in a professional position) plus the lttle child support he pays. <P>Then again there have been numerous articles in the paper about how the cost of living is so high that it is extremely common for half of a person's income to go to rent. <P>I probably wouldn't have listened, but I wish someone had said to forget Plan A and B - just go immediately for a favorable financial settlement, with the emphasis on assets rather than future earnings. There is no weapon more powerful in the hands of an OP than money.