...since I got the "speech".<P>A year ago yesterday, my entire world disintegrated. The girl I loved with all my heart told me she was no longer "in" love with me and 36 days later she left, and never once looked back.<P>It's been along year, and there were some very bad times for me, but I've turned the corner and I'm happy with my life again.<P>To all my frends here: CJ, Shawn, Dana, Cheryl, Tom, Stephanie, Pat, Mike, Leon, Lisa, Jane-Elise, Dawnetta, Mitzi, Jennifer, Tim, Gina, Bill and all the rest, I'd just like to say thank-you. You all made this process a whole lot easier. I'm not sure how I would have managed without your wisdom, support and {hugs}.<P>To all of you who are new to this forum I want you to know that it does get better. It takes time to heal and grow and get over the worst thing in the world that you can imagine happening to you, but you will. Patience and time is all it takes.<P>I still have learning and growing to do, but I've discovered that I can make it on my own, and I know I will.<P>Take care...<P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain <BR>and makes the sun come out again

Nick~<P>It was so good to read a post by you again, I had been thinking of you.<P>Yes, things do get better. It does take time, and as we all know the road that we are forced to travel upon is hard, rocky, and filled with unimaginable things. But the road does imporve as you travel along it. Sometimes, like with me, you are graced with wonderful caring people that touch your lives and make it infinatly better. That help you to see that everyone in the world is not against you, to give you a shoulder to cry on, a hug when you need them, and even laugh at your bad jokes. Nick... you are one of those people in my life. And I am so happy to hear that you are at this point in your life. It is good to hear that you are happy, and I can almost invision you smile.<P>Now all you need is a cute puppy to play with on the beach!!! <P>Seriously.... I am happy for you! You are living proof of what the Monty Python boys would say... "always look on the bright side of life!!"<P>~Steph<P>

Hi Nick - You're right - it does get better - we do heal and find that we can be happy and at peace again. But it is definitely not an easy process!!<P>Just continue to treasure your son (he's a really great kid!!), your family and your friends - these are the things that make life worthwhile.<P>Best Wishes - Marsha<P>P.S. Did you see the article in the <BR>Pilot about the Bullitt Mustang!?!?! Oh my!!!!!!!!

Hey Nick!<P>I think the first year is the hardest to get thru, but it definately helps to have lots of good friends! <P>Congrats on where you're at in life now! <P>Mitzi <BR>

((((((((Nick))))))))<P>It's been a LONG year for us all hasn't it! <P>I remember when you came to MB. I remember when almost everyone you mentioned in your post came here. We all went thru the same pain around the same time. It helps to know you're not alone. It helps to know your not imagining this and your feelings are real and very common. It helps to have a site like this to learn, share and cry together.<P>You've worked hard and you're turning the corner! You deserve it! Take things slow and one day at a time, but I agree with my good friend Mitzi...the first year is THE HARDEST. But I believe its what we do in that year that helps us in ways we can't imagine down the road.<P>I only hope the new people who come here find the same peace that we did. I hope that this forum can help others the way it helped us. <P>Hugs , Dana<BR>

I wish that were always true.<P>Perhaps the first six months were the hardest, but it has been 2 1/2 years, and the last year has been even harder than the previous one. It doesn't ever get better - in the last 2 years I found a job, started grad school, volunteered - and I miss my H just as much as ever. <P>If you can't trust someone you have known for 25 years, if a good person can become cruel over night, it is clearly not safe to trust anyone. I don't think it is really possible to explain this to someone who has only been married a few years - I've known my H since 1974, when some of the posters here were still in diapers or perhaps not even born yet..

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Nick}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>I can't believe it has been a year either! Boy have we changed or what? I remember when you first came to the boards--you were so desperate to understand what in the world was going on, what she meant, how could you fix it, and how in the world were you going to survive. We wrote and wrote--we sure have been through a lot together, haven't we? <P>You know the one thing I will never, ever, EVER forget, Nick? After a couple months, there finally came a day when I knew I could depend on you to be my friend. It was hard for me to learn to trust again, and I will owe you a debt of gratitude forever just for demonstrating to me that I could trust you to be there for me and be a true and loyal friend. I can't count the number of times I felt like I was falling apart, and there you were to help, and I am so very, VERY happy that you have gradually found a little joy and peace in your life. It's kinda cool, because I think we did it...we survived together. <P>Keep on taking care of yourself, Nick. Be the man, and father, and some day, husband that you can be, Nick, because you know that more than most, I know the kind of man you can be. Don't be bitter against "the thing" although I know you have every right to be bitter for the way she has treated you--but Nick, bitterness in your heart will consume you too, and you don't need that. Be happy. Find happiness and contentment in your life, and let her reap her own "reward". I'm so lucky that you came along and came into my life when you did. Now I'm vaklempt, so how about a celebration hug? {{{{{{{{{{Nick}}}}}}}}}}!!!!!<P><BR>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.<p>[This message has been edited by FaithfulWife (edited August 05, 2001).]

((((((((((((((((((((Nick))))))))))))))))))))<P>I'm so glad to have had this time to be friends with you - even if we haven't met. You've really come a long way and you are making great progress. <P>For me the first year was the hardest, followed by the third. that's when I ended up in the dr. office with an irregular heartbeat that could only be explained as "too much stress and something has to go." That was when I finally filed. But that's all behind me.<P>Luv ya, studly yard guy. When will you be here? My yard needs you!!:roll eyes:

Nick,<P>"it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again"<P>true to your "sig"<P>Good to "see" you!<P>Gayle<P><BR>

Wow Cooker,<P>I can't believe it's been a whole year for you already! I remember from last year that we both started posting around the same time, and I also remember that your marital situation moved so quickly, almost with record speed, and it seemed as though you moved to the Divorcing Forum within a few weeks and I felt so bad for you! It must have been extremely hard on you to have everything happen so very fast. <P>My marital situation is still s-l-o-w-l-y unraveling and I am headed for the divorcing forum myself. In retrospect, I think I would rather have it be over with quickly, as it was in your case!<P>Good luck to you and I am glad to see that you are doing so well!

My 1 year anniversary just passed as well since I found this site (July 12th actually)....where has the year gone?<P>I'm glad that we could all be out here for one another and if any of my words, thoughts, jokes or advice has helped you along the way, then I couldn't be happier.<P>Thanks for your wisdom as well. You certainly contributed to my healing as well, friend.<P><B><I>ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK!!!</I></B><P><p>[This message has been edited by Jayhawk 93 (edited August 06, 2001).]

Sorry-posted to wrong thread!<P>Thanks all for the kind words. There have been so many bad days lately it felt great to feel something that was at the slightest bit positive. I am sure there is a backwards step or two in the coming days, but we'll see.<P>As an aside, I went to an Al-Anon meeting tonight ( i have gotten a great deal out of these meetings for myself. It was shocking how many breaking and broken marriages there. There were three new people, all of whom had just left or been left by a spouse. Helped put my dilemma in a little perspective.<p>[This message has been edited by ANB3 (edited August 06, 2001).]

Hey Nick,<P>Yes, it is true. Time heals all wounds. We all helped each other and though we all take different time periods to get thru the mess, it does get better.<P>March 13, 1999 will live in my memory forever, but the pain is gone. I have healed. Sure, I still think and talk to Valerie, but, now I have also fallen out of love with her. Life couldn't be better for me. <P>Wishing us all the Best,<P>Medic

Man oh man, it's so true about time healing... but... yeah, it STILLS gets to us sometimes, doesn't it?<P>I thank God for this place too, for the friends I've made, and for the help I've received over the past two years.<P>C00ker, you are one of the good guys!

Hey Nick (beach boy)<BR> Glad to see your doing good.......... This past year has made you a better person and your right you never stop learning.... Way to go Nick <BR>Wishing you well<BR>JJ

{{{{{{Nick}}}}}}<P>I know, a year has gone by. Shocking to think it has moved so quickly in some respects, so slowly in others! Glad to see you post, I often wonder about everyone on this forum when I haven't had the time to get here to visit. Lots of hugs and good thoughts going your way!<P>lori

Nick,<P>Glad to hear from you again and glad to hear things are going well. <P>You were a real help to me when I came here. I was struggling so with my situation which was like yours in that I got the speech and he was gone. I thought I would never make it. <P>It has been six months for me and I feel so much better thanks to my friends here at MB.<P>Take Care Nick and go live the life that you deserve.<P>

cOOker,<P>Glad things are going better for you. Me, too. I think peace and happiness can come back into your life once you REALLY let go. I still have unanswered questions, but I have let go. I wish you continued peace and ahppiness and most fulfilling life!<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Hey Yard Dude!<P>A year since the speech...well, "me too." Seems like that's what I've been saying to you since I first posted here...your story and mine...scary parallels...made me realize I was not alone. <P>One ugly year behind us...a whole lot of future ahead...<P>The future looks pretty bright now, doesn't it? <P>Lisa <P>------------------<BR>I am woman...hear me roar...okay - meow...okay - purr? Hey, I'm working on it.