My H lawyer sent me 6 letters in the last 3 weeks making all sorts of false accusations that aren't true. My lawyer says that I have to repond and give my version of the story to protect myself. I have plenty of amunition - but how do I counter attack without LB? I guess I can't, can I???

When I got to this stage, I treated the divorce like a bussiness and made sure I protected myself financialy,there is not much you can do here except take care of yours and protect yourself. Do not give up anything but do not argue over the small stuff, do not fight for the coffe pot, or that old chair. Stay focused on the bigger issues. Try your best to get everything you should with out LB to much. <P>

Okay, they are letters, right? You do not need to respond to accusations at all. If he makes them in court, then respond if you are asked to, or required to. Did your lawyer tell you why you had to respond to an informal letter, and how much he was going to charge you to do that? If I recall correctly, you were being accused of being abusive to your son, is that correct? You only have to respond to charges in court, remember that...lawyers don't have any power in this, the court does. Stay strong, Katie, don't get into that. Tell your lawyer what you want, and make him earn his money. -Mike

Careful Mike-responding to accusations in writing or verbally made can and is important, especially when false. In Ohio we have the "tacit admission" rule and it gets used at times although most attorneys are not aware of it. If you are accused of something bad: abuse of kids is a good example, and say nothing-your silence to so serious can be taken as an admission. I don't know what LB means, but I would follow your attorneys suggestion. You don't have to use your ammunition. Just a simple "that is totally untrue and ridiculous it deserves no further response." Luck to you.

Bear 13Lee, LB means Love Busting, I know that I'm still getting these down myself. I'm new to this site. <P>Thank you everybody for your responses. "Stop Your Divorce" advises that when he/she confronts you with the bad news they recieved from your attorney to reply with, "I'll have to talk to my attorney," or "I'll keep that in mind," and it also said NOT to argue. MacDonald says to keep conversation happy talk, small talk and no in depth discussions about OR cause that will lead everybody getting I think I'm going to respond but in my response and defend myself, naturally but then I'm going to tell them to stop all this stupid stuff work on an agreement. His lawyer had recommended family therapy and mediation so I think what I'm going to do is say that I'll agree to family therapy and then pursue mediation IF H improves. Hopefully we will be sucessful in family therapy and never get to mediation <BR>

Yes, Katie...that is what I was referring to. I stand corrected, but I also assume that she has already responded to the allegations verbally, and that they obviously have no merit, and are contrived at this point simply as a campaign against her. The non-legal concern of mine is that this not escalate any further in terms of those Love Busters, because if you can get a handle on that, the D gets stopped anyway, right -Mike

Katie (when are you going to change your handle)<P>Thanks for the link to Divorce Busters. I didn't find it all that much help for me, but I browsed some more, and I didn't realise that lawyers suggesting counselling and mediation seems to be pretty standard practise, and that YOU can ask for it through your lawyer!!! This gives me a little hope if he files, co I don't think he has ever addressed any real issues...all very vague.<P>Keep your chin up girl...it helps your whole attitude. I've been experimenting with putting out a positive demeanour lately, and it really seems to have improved my mood!!!<P>Take care, and CHANGE your handle, so you can post in my new thread about how did you get your handle!!!!

Should I throw in a few counter attacks - I have several to shake him up a bit???!!!!

Well, it looks line we are on here together <P>Nina, you mean my user name? I tried to change it by going to profiles - that didn't work, then I tried to re-register - that didn't work either because it said that someone was already using that email address so it looks like I can't change it unless I change my email address, anybody know about this???<P>Glad to hear you are feeling better Nina. <BR>

Thanks...<P>I have a lot of theories as to why I feel better, the nicest one is on my "Mike" thread!!! See your other thread for advice on user name.