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Joined: Dec 1999
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I've been posting only occasionally, at Recovery, but I recognize several old friends here, so I thought I'd ask for encouragement here, too.<P><BR>My dear h. just told me that he needs a date for a HUGE function 'in the city' this week. We are two years into a strong healthy marriage, finally, after 13 bad years.<P>I have not seen OW in two years, and my formerly WH hasn't been involved with her for 2 years, he last saw her 9 months ago across a large convention hall. They still are practicing their profession in the same large city, but avoid each other very well. <P>She hates me, because she has never confessed her 3 office affairs to her h, but did have to change jobs last year when the truth hit the fan, so to speak. (BTW, I was only a confirmer of the truth, not the gossipmonger).<P>EX-OW was a 'collector' of men in the office, and kept the correspondence from them as trophies...which she left in a drawer for my h. to see, to try to make him jealous...except she didn't count on him confessing it all to me.<P>I still hold a few "TRUMP" cards...so to speak. I doubt if her h. will attend this thing, but there's a good chance she will.<P>ADVICE?<BR>This huge dinner (over 1000) will be in a giant room, but if they do the tables by profession, guess who will probably be close enough for us to glare all night?<P>I just ordered two dresses, so I have that under control no matter the weather, but I need a pep talk big time....and don't want to bring this up with anybody local.<P>thanks in advance<P>his POGP<BR>lizzie<P><P>------------------<BR>I became a Pearl because of the pain inside

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I am sorry for your pain and struggles. I don't have any advise for you but I thought I would bump this up so you won't get lost at the bottom. I am struggeling too and mostly lurk. I feel incapable of giving advise today but hang in there. You are not alone.

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Liz, good to see you here, although this isn't exactly a fun place to be.<P>You are the winner here, Liz. You and your H have built an even better mousetrap and for that you should be extra proud! Feel the pride and let it RADIATE from you! You can face this exOW with confidence and with pride and with your H on YOUR arm! If nothing else, in a sorta vindictive way, you should look forward to facing her as a COUPLE!!!<P>Let your joy, pride, confidence and love come shining through and you will no doubt do just fine!!!!<P>Oh....and don't forget to flash that fantastic ring he gave you a couple Christmases ago, too!<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

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Thanks, Des.<P>The ring is buffed, my hair appt. is made, the dress is great, I'm ready.<P>She may not be there, but I KNOW she'll hear about us if she isn't. Thanks for the boost.<P>hugs,<BR>liz<P>------------------<BR>I became a Pearl because of the pain inside

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She wasn't there!<BR>We were at a table with the company president, marketing director, and the CFO and a fascinating group of women -- their wives and daughters. No 'have you met my companion for the evening' garbage. <P>I just LOVE this new company -- God has so blessed my husbands faithfulness. He left his last job to get away from OW, taking a $10,000 pay cut. <P>Try balancing your budget with that! But guess what? He (and therefore WE) have been prospering and being blessed over and over -- as a family, not in a paycheck.<P>Never Underestimate the POWER OF A PRAYING WIFE! (my apologies to Ladies Home Journal and Stormie O'Martian.)<P>liz/pogp<P>btw, I'm still overweight by 20 lbs. Two years ago, when I rebounded from the Infidelity diet I started doing the gourmet cooking that 'caught' my h. in the first place. Now We joke that we are fat and happy and that love handles make for better sex. Goodness, did I just say that?<P>

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alias...you are so brave to have gone in the first place...oh how I do admire you for that!!!<P>Most of my social group consisted of OW being there, and I just couldn't go....well it's not over with them...as he says it hasn't even begun....BS it's at least an EA.<P>Anyway, I am in the position now that my h will have to quit his high paying job if he wants to get back with me....I don't see it happening, but the money is worthless to him if we divorce, as it will take all of his extra earnings to divorce me. So I hope he does his arithmatic, as well as his self analysis in my favour!!!<P>

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Liz,<P>AWESOME!!!! Glad she wasn't there and glad you both had such a good time!!<P>Don't worry too much aboutt the 20 pounds. Everything worth while takes time and over time you'll whiuttle it away.<P>Glad to hear of the blessings your family is receiving!<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>


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