I’m feeling a lot better about my wife being gone and about the affairs. I truly believe she is headed down a path of self-destruction that will result in a lifetime of misery. I don’t want to follow her down that path. I’ve kept the house the same in the event that if she ever came home so things would be easier for her. But that’s hurting me. Every day I see pictures of us and her things scattered throughout the house and it reminds me that’s she’s gone. It makes me sad sometimes. I’ve been thinking about boxing up some of her stuff and putting it in the extra bedroom. What do you think? Is it a good idea? If she comes over to pick up her mail and sees what I’ve done is it going to make her more resentful to me?

Hi there PT,<P>I saw a post on this somewhere, can't remember, but it was a while ago. The BS put stuff away, and the WS said something like "Oh, so you've given up on me now?" when they noticed.<P>I moved pictures before I left and I did it because it hurt ME to look at him. I put them in a room where I didn't go much. They were still on display, just not 'in my face'. I never got a response from him.<P>If you are worried about getting her angry, you might consider doing something similar. She can't accuse you of anything but a little reorganising. <P>And, after all, you are living there by yourself now, and you are entitled to make your home as comfortable as possible for you.<P>hope this helps,<P>Jacky

Since the x left, I have repainted, repapered, and all sorts of other things. But he never comes in to know. <P>I moved pictures early on. Because it hurt me to see them. <P>How often does she come in? If it's seldom, don't worry about it. If it's often and she should say anything, you could assure her that you still have them and that, if it is ever appropriate to do so, you would love to be able to put them back out as reminders of your earlier days together.<P>Of course, if you knew she was coming, you could be outside working and have her mail with you so that she wouldn't have to go inside.

My ex wife started looking for a place to live when we started having problems, and when I found out I started looking too. Then i found a place and started packing. But if you asked her then and now she would tell you it was my idea to separtate. And that she didnt want to but had no choice. When i look back on it, it is kind of funny. I just beat her to the draw and it made her mad. So she made me out to look like the Big Bad Guy.<P>------------------<BR>Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.

Isn't it wild Bioman. Im the B/S and Im the one who finally gave up on her due to no effort to repair marriage, the continued lying(even after she was caught and confessed)and just because she told me over and over she wanted divorce wasnt going to give up OM. Lets stay together just for the kids, but she told me she would give me some on occassion. Now wasnt that nice. Anyhow, I digress. I filed for divorce and now she wants to make me out to be the bad guy. I constantly hear that Im the one who filed. I told you I didnt want a divorce. The W/S are the most self centered people who could possibly exist. What a great offer she gave me.

Hi Purple,<P>I don't know what she'd think really but I believe you have the right not to have your head messed up by the pictures. Know what you shouldn't do? You shouldn't do what I did. I took the picture of us from the bedroom and ripped it into shreds along with one of his early loveletters to me and left it in the bathroom trash for him to see (I scattered the letters pieces in the toilet). I also ripped the wedding picture in half and left it laying in the china cabinet. Do I get mad or what!<P>Well, my outburst felt great but it surprised me how much it hurt him, when I really thought he would care less. He didn't tell me but he mentioned it to his mother so I know I had hurt him. I felt so bad I tried to scramble to see if I could get them replaced, but couldn't.<P>I really can't see the harm in moving them as long as they aren't destroyed. And if there is a comment from her about it, I think Cinderella had a good suggestion on how to handle it.<P>Take care.<P>------------------<BR>Kathy

You have to take care of yourself and move on. It is your life to live now and not hers. You have to help your self out of this sadness and visit familiy member or do activity that you could enjoy. I share your pain and it is time to move on.