Hello, All:<p>I am almost embarrassed to post here, because everyone here has these problems, why should I be any different?<p>Today, I was let go from an independent programming job I had. This was after being laid off from my regular job in October, my wife leaving me in July, and my father dying in March.<p>The job I just lost was at the place where my wife works, and she could not work up the slightest amount of sympathy for me. This from a woman who, whenever SHE has a problem, comes to me, not to the new family she has adopted as her own. When she wants to have fun, it is as if she has forgotten my name; she goes to the new family.<p>I feel so disposable. Heck, I AM disposable. I am nothing. What has happened here? What the heck is going on? Why am I not even worthy of a little sympathy on her part? Why am I so easy for my wife and these other people to get rid of? I feel like a total zero, nothing, gone, a ghost. <p>I, like everyone else here, has lost my entire family. Her family was my family and now she has packed up, moved out and gone. I am left with my own pounding temples and eyes, my own loneliness, and the overwhelming torture of knowing that I do not even really exist to her any longer.<p>God, if I could cry I would, but I do not really have that ability. Therefore all this stuff remains backed up and goes nowhere until I feel as if I am going to vomit. I need to know this, and maybe one of you can tell me; what the heck is so wrong with ME! What did I do that was so wrong that I have been transformed into this worthless piece of garbage in my wife’s eyes? I can tell you all one thing, I certainly feel like a worthless piece of garbage. To paraphrase a great philosopher, “My only regret is that I was not born somebody else”.<p>THAT about sums it up. Thank you all for reading my ramblings and letting me vent. God Bless you all.<p>My best to you,
Vb_guy

Ok...so after partially reading some other people's posts, I was too sad to finish most of them, I can see that everyone here has the same problems and I should have kept my stupid mouth shut. Sorry, all.

(((((((((((VB))))))))))))))))))))))<p>You shouldn't keep your mouth shut. You have every right to hurt. It's part of the healing. You can get past this! I know you have it in you.<p>You know what you need to do and you can do it! I will email you soon and will be on IM later tonight, hope to talk to ya then. <p>Take care and anytime you are down post!<p>ANNA

Don't be so hard on yourself. I think you need to work on improving YOU.<p>Try going back to school and getting a degree. Collect unemployment for awhile. Move to another town to get a fresh start.<p>Most importantly, hang in there. Trust me there will be brighter days...<p>M&J

You are not stupid and your problems are just as important here as anyone elses. I often feel like I'm telling the same old story over and over and no one wants to hear it, but I've found I feel so much better when I release my thoughts onto this website. And almost every time, I recieve words of encouragement back from this board.<p>Hey, you can't be all that bad if you program in visual basic. I do a bit with FoxPro myself from time to time. I am very sorry to hear about your job. <p>I work for my Dad in a company of about 30 people. Have been here since I graduated college in 1988. Last Oct he announced that he was selling this company to our competitor in town. He called it a merger but the facts said buyout. I was crushed. This other company has a terrible reputation, the management was all stuck up the owner's butt and the owner was a spoiled rich boy who only had money because he married into a rich family.<p>To say the least my work was rocked. Have you ever read the book " Who moved my Cheese?" If not, I suggest it. It is quick and easy but it really helped me see my sorrow in a different light. <p>Sorry I got offtrack. During the process of trying to merge these two companies, the announcement that we were partnering with "richie rich" caused us to loss over half our business. <p>Our CEO quit, richie rich convinced the rest of our management staff that we were going out of business and once he convinced them to come on board with him, he refused to sign the contract to complete the sale.<p>I lost my 3 best friends and the stability of my job.<p>Well, no one gave us 3 months. Here we are 13 months later and I haven't missed a check yet. In fact, I've gotten 2 raises and now am being offered the CEO position. Last year I thought my world as I knew it was over. I had lost everything and my Husband was seriously depressed. In Jan he announces he is not happy and moves out in March.<p>Tomorrow we go to court for the first time ( a motion hearing). I am doing pretty well in my slightly modified plan B. I feel strong and ok. <p>Never think you aren't important and don't give up climbing. I don't know if you ever listen to country music but there is a song by Trace Atkins called " I keep on trying". One of the best lyrics is "there's always a mountain in front of me and I feel like I'm always climbing, falling, and climbing, BUT I keep on trying"<p>I am so sorry for your pain. I will pray for you.<p>PP

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by M&J:
<strong>Don't be so hard on yourself. I think you need to work on improving YOU.<p>Try going back to school and getting a degree. Collect unemployment for awhile. Move to another town to get a fresh start.<p>Most importantly, hang in there. Trust me there will be brighter days...<p>M&J</strong><hr></blockquote><p>M&J,<p>Just a correction for you VB already has a degree, I believe it's an MS in mathematics. <p>Take care,
ANNA

VB,<p>Please read this thread, I think it may give you some comfort.<p>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=34&t=003328<p>Take care,<p>ANNA

I see you are looking at the negetive things happening, perhaps if you could lighten up on yourself for a few minutes, you might be willing to take a look at the oppurtunities that are ahead of you, you know what they say if you are handed lemons make lemonade, the best way to get past this is to go out and do better in life for yourself.

{{{vb_guy}}},
No one deserves to feel the way you're feeling. Do you have a counselor? Please get one if you don't. You've got to work through this issue you have of not feeling important enough. The fact that your wife is treating you this way is about your WIFE, not you. She's a bit#h for treating you this way. Sorry to sound so harsh, but I've asked myself the same question so many times, it's like a broken record "why wasn't I worth him fighting for?" It's NOT ABOUT YOU!!!!! IT's ABOUT HER!!! As for the job, maybe God has a better plan for you?<p>God said "I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and bring you joy..." Let him bring them to you vb.<p>I'm praying really hard right now. Get out of the depths of despair that you've put yourself in. Only you (and God) can get you out of it.<p>Take care,<p>MOM

((((((((((((((((((VB))))))))))))))))))))))<p>Sending an army of guardian angels your way.<p>This is tough, it sucks, it feels like the end of the world. But you are strong. You will get through this day like you have gotten through all the days before now.<p>You can't control how your W feels, as you know. Try really hard not to expect anything at all from her, and then you can't be disappointed. That sounds so simplistic, I know, but work on the things you can change. One of those things is the way you react to this. I do not want to invalidate your feelings in any way by saying that....but you can choose to lie down over this, or to pick up the pieces (AGAIN) and move forward.<p>You can do it VB, we are here for you.<p>Love and light,<p>Jacky

I would like to thank everyone who replied to my post. I am grateful to you all.<p>
Sincerely,
vb_guy