Where do I begin…
It has been quite sometime since I have posted…Though I do lurk from time to time…
I am glad to see this board is still a place where we can put forth our thoughts and feelings and get feedback&#8230;<p>For the newcomers that don&#8217;t recognize my name&#8230;
I came here Nov 6, 1999&#8230;I found the solace and refuge I needed from my aching heart and weary head&#8230;
My Ex left me for another&#8230;&#8221;LRB&#8221;&#8230;for those who remember LOL LOL
We will be divorced one year on Feb 13, 2002&#8230;
From what intelligence sources tell me they broke up last August&#8230;<p>I have done a little dating yet have not found a connection with anyone&#8230;
I have been seeing someone here recently, however, I do not see this relationship blossoming anytime soon&#8230;<p>My dilemma is this&#8230;
Until recently I have not seen my ex in any light other than the person that ripped my guts out and stomped on them&#8230;
Here lately I am finding myself attracted to her&#8230;
Go frikken figure!!
I am also in the what ifs, could we, should we ect&#8230;<p>Many of you know that I in no way wanted this divorce and did as much as I could to save it&#8230;
Plan-A, Plan-B ZERO Lovebusters and the like&#8230;<p>Now for the big question&#8230;
What if anything do I do???<p>I am open to any ideas, opinions, suggestions&#8230;<p>Best regards,
Bill

Hey Bill!<p>It's good to know that you haven't dropped off the face of the earth! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Hmmmm...I'm glad I'm not in the same position you are! <p>Have you talked to Robin about any of this? I know that you didn't want any of this and tried very hard to get her back. And I also know that you've always had some feelings for her. Maybe you need to talk to her and see how she feels about possibly trying again? <p>Isn't the dating thing weird? I just started dating someone myself and it's been great so far!<p>Don't stay away so long!<p>Mitz [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi Bill,<p>I haven't been around much, but I saw your post. No real concrete advice from this corner, but I think that if you consider it for a while and the plan still seems "reasonable", you might want to try what Mitzi suggests and contact her. See if she wants to go out.<p>But having said that, you'd really need to figure out if she'd be willing to commit to some new "behavior" before making this a serious reconciliation.<p>And she could just say that she's completely uninterested, and that would help solve your problem, too! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Hey, friend! I have wondered what you have been up to. Now I see. <p>Here are my thoughts: Sometimes you look backwards because you can't see anything to look FORWARD towards. If you want to pursue Robin because you think she will be a good mate, again, then by all means do so. But, before you pursue her, think to yourself - what changes have you seen in her that make you think she will be a better partner or companion this time? I am NOT trying to discourage you, Bill. I just want you to go after this with your eyes open. If Robin has changed and matured, then GREAT! Give it a try! If she hasn't, then be extra, extra careful. <p>Wishing you and Abby only the BEST! Take care, Desiree

Mitzi,
I have not talked to her about any of this. I'm still mulling it over in my mind. Yes dating is a strange phenominon(sp?) I'm glad you have found someone to spark your interest...I hope the boys are well [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>K,
Ever the wise man you are...Yes I plan to think long and hard about all this. I liked the word "reasonable" it does seem to fit and you are correct, if she isn't interested, problem solved...<p>Desiree,
Abbey is GREAT! Kindergarten now EGADS!! LOL
I have seen lots of changes in Robin over the past few months. It is ironic that she gets back to her old self after dumping LRB Could it be the lifted fog??...Believe me my eyes are WIDE OPEN! and I have no expectations whatever...I do find these feelings curious however and wanted to vent them a little here and get some feedback...I wonder if either of us have the humility to try this thing after so many feelings and words have passed between us...I was hoping some of our other old chums would chime in too...I guess I will be patient...<p>Thanks you three, it has been helpful...<p>Bill

could you be wanting "the dream" rather than looking forward and moving on?<p>just asking [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi Bill,<p>I've been wondering about you. Glad to hear you're still well. Well, as good as we can be!!!<p>I know all about the dating thing where it just doesn't seem to be going anywhere. I've just finished with a guy I had been seeing for 8 weeks, because surely there should be some spark after then. There wasn't. Zip, zilch, zero, nada!!!<p>As far as Robin goes, whew, what a question my friend.<p>I guess I'd be sitting back and waiting. Are you sure she has broken up with LRB? How reliable are your 'sources'?<p>Maybe she has had time to think about everything that has happened, and the choices that she has made (incorrectly I might add)......... And the price she has had to pay for those choices.<p>Maybe now is the time to suggest 'something', maybe Christmas Carols in the city with Abbey. Or going to look at the Christmas decorations in a major department store or the like. Something you could do as a 'family'. And with it being Christmas, hopefully, only good thoughts will fill her heart and her head. Maybe you could include her in coming along when Abbey has her Santa photos taken.<p>Gads, kindergarten. Where does the time go....<p>I've just been to my eldest D's Christmas concert at school. She has just finished grade 1, her first year at school. I can't believe next year she'll be in grade 2.... Where does time go...<p>Her father wasn't able to attend, he had - are you sitting down - his wedding 'stuff' to attend to.. yep, he's getting married on Sat.<p>It broke my heart to hear d say that her night was spoilt because Daddy wasn't there. I keep telling myself it's his loss, but to see and hear her crying tore my soul out.<p>Anyway, I will keep you in my prayers tonight. I'm sorry I don't have a really good suggestion for you, one that will miraculously make her see the light once and for all.<p>What a fantastic man you are. After all she has said and done, and put you through, that you can even think about this. I suppose we all do, all those feelings and memories don't just vanish overnight do they??<p>Love and hugs to you my friend
Good to see you back here<p>Jo

Bill,<p>Kindergarten!! WOW - you are getting old! Teehee!<p>Pray on this awhile, Bill. God will put the right answer in your heart.<p>Desiree

Bill<p>Oh my as I live and breathe. Where in the heck have you been? We (Kim and I) have wondered about you, worried about you, all of those things female friends do when they haven't heard from a buddy in a very long time. Did I mention MISS you?<p>How's the mountain biking going? What have you been up to? Are you getting ready to strap on the one board and go down the slopes? Write us darn it. We miss chatting with you.<p>Now about your question on Robin. I remember all your feelings very well. I remember how hard you fought not to get a divorce, how much you've grown and what a fine man you have become. Robin would be one very fortunate woman to get a chance to have you back in her life full time.<p>Glad to hear that "they" broke up. As far as pursuing her, well heck guy, what have you got to loose? You two were good once, maybe you can be again? I do know this is you don't try, you'll never know, always wonder and that's not a good place to be. That huge what if that will loom around your heart and mind, possibly forever. Without a doubt pray about though pray about it. The Lord's will, you know!<p>Now how is that little Angel of yours doing? I read Kindergarten. That beautiful girl of yours is already in elementary school! My goodness how time flies. Before you know it she'll be out driving a car just like Bina. [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>You know your very remiss, as I haven't been sent any updated pics of her at all. My Abbey folder is crying out for new ones. (Pointing a waving finger in your direction with stern look to impose guilt on you. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] )<p>Come online and chat with us...there is so much to tell you. Pretty please! A good buddy is hard to find and we have been missing our's big time. <p>Much love,
Samantha and Kimm<p>Ps. I even posted this WilliamJ...where are you? Has anybody heard from him? just to get news about if you still existed on this great earth.<p>[ December 09, 2001: Message edited by: A blessed Samantha ]</p>

I think you should talk to her--I mean Robin--you two are the only mom and dad that your little girl has. You are two halves of the most important person in your lives. You should aim to cultivate what tiny microscopic spark of friendship there is for her sake--and see what goes on from there. Ideally, marriage is forever. Why not seek for the ideal? It's God's plan.

Samantha,
Please forgive me for not communicating these past months. My PC is down and I can only use my roomies or the one at work. I haven't been out thrashing on my bike in a few weeks due to timing and lack of daylight. I am counting the days til I can strap on the mono board and see how far and fast I can tumble down the slopes. LOL I haven't any new pix yet of Abbey...soory [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] When I get some you at the top of my list!<p>Ma Cheri!!
As I live and breath!! Where in the "World" are you??? Are you well??? In the Army??? Japan??? Do tell! Do tell!!<p>As far as this thing with Robin, I am searching God's will and seeing what my own is. I do struggle humbly asking his will and waiting. But I am seeking it. Nothing has been revealed quite yet but the attraction is growing...Go Frikken Figure!!<p>I need to take some meds over there for Abbey in a few minutes, another opportunity check the waters.<p>I miss you guys!<p>Much Love.
Bill

Wow, WilliamJ! I remember you from when I first found this board...you and NSR were my gurus! <p>What a dilemna. I agree with all the others....take it slow, test the waters, etc. But I also agree that you will never know until you try. At this point in the whole ordeal, what would it hurt? Could her refusal to consider the option be any worse than the pain and heartbreak you first felt in 11/99? I don't think so....<p>You've grown so much and like I said, I've looked up at your wisdom on this board for the last two years myself. You will know the answer...just set aside the chatter in your head and listen to your gut. There is a still, small voice in there that God speaks thru.<p>Good luck and God bless.
Aloha,
Ms.O

Hey Bill,<p>Long time no write -- you know it's me, Sheryl, right? [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>It's been so long you may not remember my sorta new name... <p>I've actually not been on here a lot lately (can you believe it?)... I've run out of things to say.<p>Anyway, I hope whatever you're feeling keeps on filling you up and that Robin feels the same way.<p>Best wishes and MAJOR HUGS, my friend,
Sheryl

G,<p>Old friend. . .<p>All I can say is that I pray for you and think of you often. I want you to find happiness in whatever you do, where ever you are in life. I am so hoping that your family will reunite, somehow, some way.<p>Anyways--still overseas, let's just say that. Except that, beginning in June, I will be going to Korea for a couple of years. I am really, really excited. I like it there, and I am working at brushing up on my language skills. Ajic do chal mot ha-o.<p>Last week I hurt my back/hip pretty bad while running. . .just kind of a "gentle" reminder of how I am too old for this stuff. But anyways, I can hack it and I will be back on my feet, hopefully, in the next couple of days. Sure does hurt. <p>I am planning on going back to the states in a few months to see my parents and my kids. I am looking forward to that.<p> I never ever even go on line anymmore outside of work, it just so happened that I had a funny inkling to look at MB just yesterday and there you were. I am so glad that you are doing well.<p>I hope that you will find a way to gently communicate that you love and forgive your ex-wife and that you are putting the past in the past. You probably don't have to say it in words, but it may take years to say this and make it all water under the bridge..<p>Divorce sucks so bad, I have been on both sides of the coin now, the dumper and the dumpee, and let me tell you, nothing is a worse trial in this life. Being the dumper is no less painful, when you get to the point that you can look back and see what a [censored] (cranial rectus) you have been. Make sure that your ex knows that you can overlook her case of cranial rectus. Make sure that she knows that you can forgive her, if indeed you sincerely can.<p>My best wishes for you, old friend.

Bill - I've been thinking of you and wondering how you were. <p>If I were you I would tread carefully. And start only with family things. If you still there might be possibilities, then talk to her. <p>But, remember how much it hurt when things went up in smoke the first time? Can your heart take being rejected again?