For those of you that don't know my circumstances or situation in brief I divorced my husband on 10-9-01 and God softened my heart and broke me to seek reconciliation ever since. The whole story is under divorced and reconciling.<p>The good news is that God is working in my husband's life and mine and will continue to be our focal point. The circumstances are far from perfect and my husband is struggling with confusion, but things become more clear as the days pass. He is still dating this woman, but refrains from any intimate contact with her. We have been seeing each other more and more and continue to share the most amazing experiences in communication, enjoyment of each other's company, and intimacy more than we ever have in our past married life together. God is teaching me patience, understanding, and unconditional love for my husband. I continue to grow in His word, plan, and direction for my life as a Christian. I have received His grace and am thankful everyday for this and the time I have with my husband. The only challenge I have is what he is doing to this woman by keeping us a secret while he explores and gains confidence in us. He is stringing her along and in the end going to wind up hurting her more than ever and I don't feel that is right. The only challenge or concern that I have is whether or not I am doing the right thing by continuing to be with my husband while he is still seeing this woman. I just continue to pray for her and her desire to seek reconciliation with her ex-husband for the sake of God's plan for family unity. Her husband wants to reconcile and she refuses.

Thank you again for your thoughts and prayers. Any continued feedback you can provide is greatly appreciated. I have grown a tremendous amount through all of this and will never stop seeking or desiring God's plan and His kingdom. <p>Angel

You are right in your concern. I can't go into too much detail because I am on my way out the door now. But let me point you to a good link from Christian Counselors: http://www.cloudtownsend.com/Articles/prev_articles.htm<p>Take this to the Lord and see how he leads you. I think it relates to your situation and your responsibility in holding your husband accountable by confronting this woman, in love. <p>Here is an excerpt form The Simple Scoop on Boundaries By Henry Cloud, Ph.D.: <p>Limiting Evil<p>One of the other aspects of boundaries that is important is the limiting effect upon evil. Remember, because God does not control people, they are, in a certain way, free to be evil. He does not make them be good. He limits His sovereignty and control in some ways that we do not totally understand. But, even though He allows them to be evil, He limits the effects of their choices. He exercises limits on the effect that their choices will have on Him, His church, the world, etc.<p>He has also given us this duty, to limit the effect that evil choices that people make can have on life. One of the best examples of that is in Matthew 18:15-18. It is the role of us to take a stand and &#8220;bind&#8221; evil as it presents itself. Read Psalms 101 for a great description of how David thought about the things that must be bound so that the evil of others would not &#8220;cling&#8221; to him.<p>In addition, He wants us to limit the effect that the evil is having on their life as well. He wants us to restore those who get &#8220;caught up,&#8221; by evil. We are to put boundaries on the cancer that is destroying them and be redemptive in their lives. (Gal. 6:1)<p>God is about Life. He is about restoring good things. And to do that, evil things must be held in check and transformed. He has given us many tools to perform this function of the salt that seasons the earth:<p>Truth and Commands <p>Confrontation <p>Rebuke <p>Exhortation <p>Forgiveness <p>Group Intervention <p>Consequences <p>Discipline <p>Restoration <p>Limit Setting <p>Separation <p>These are some of the processes that God has told us to do that limit and restore evil. And, they work. The problem is that we do not exercise our control and responsibility to do these things in our significant relationships, the church, and the world at large. As has been the story since the garden of Eden, the mess is largely of our own making. If we would use our self-control to do these things, then we would not have the messes in various aspects of life in which we find ourselves. We have misused our freedom. But, the good news of boundaries is that you can take control back in your own areas of influence, and begin to limit evil and restore life.

integrityangel, have you and your H remarried? You mentioned intimacy... is that physical intimacy (sex?)<p>As you can see from my signature line I also divorced (found the Lord) and remarried.

Thank you very much for your response. I do apologize for the delay in my return response [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] . I am very happy to hear that you have overcome some major challenges and are working toward a righteous and Godly life with your wife. It is encouraging to hear from other people with similar, but always different, circumstances where God has been the center of their life and proven the benefits and blessings of reconciliation.<p>My husband and I are currently not married and have been initimate or in more direct words making love over the past couple of months. We have both felt right about it because of God's biblical truth that we are still married in his eyes. This is also an area that we struggled in and both felt it necessary to find out whether this was a physical or emotional barrier. It turns out that it was all emotional and due to the many barriers we had between us that impacted the area of intimacy in our marriage.<p>The situation continues to remain the same with his other relationship and it is tearing me apart emotionally. I know that I can't continue on in our current relationship the way things are due to his refusal of cutting the rope with this woman. It is just extremely difficult to know which direction to turn.<p>We will be spending Christmas Eve together with our children and my family at his house. Then on Christmas day he will be spending it with our children and his family alone. Please pray for me that day because it will be close to an unbearably difficult day for me. This other woman will be spending this time with her family about 150 miles away from here. I did just break the ice with my husband's parents last night. It was pretty tough, but God helped me get through it and all in all things went pretty well. Everything will just take time and I have no doubt in my mind that they will see the different choices, decisions, actions and blessings given to me by Our Savior. Nothing is impossible with God and there are many people in this world that are living proof of His love and power.<p>Thank you again for sharing and responding to my situation. I will use and benefit from the resource you provided me and also be forever grateful for you, this website and everyone involved.<p>God bless you and your family during the holiday season and always.<p>Angel

Integrityangel,<p>Praise God... Your growth in the Lord will be the glue that will bind and work to reconcile your marriage. <p>Read Corinthians 13 ... I believe God reveals to us instruction clearly here regarding tour concerns about h and ow.<p>God bless,
Julia