I do not get this dating world. Here I am single at 30 yrs old. I do not have children, I have been in counseling the last year-trying to better myself, I have a career, go to college part time, own my own house and I am in great physical shape. People say I am very attractive. WHY IS IT THAT NO ONE HAS ASKED ME OUT!!!!
I guess I'm peeved today because I was doing fine-thinking God will provide someone at the right time. Than this morning I find a business card of this guy I have kind of liked for the past 3 months on my desk. Let me back up with this story here first. In October This guy (we'll call him B)starting stopping by my office to see me(he's a student where I work). I work with one of his friends and this friend asked if I would go out with B-I said sure. Then I heard nothing......A month later B calls regarding a letter my office sent out. We chit chat for awhile, than nothing for a month.... Now we are in December. I am invited out to lunch with the guy I work with and other friends, B is also at the lunch. Another friend(we will call him K) asked if I would like to come over to B's house to watch movies with them. So I go...After the movie K left. I go to leave but B keeps stalling me. I invite B over to my house sometime and he asks where I live. (During all of the conversations its all about his future and that he wants to see someone that does not have kids and he shared other personal things with me and bragged a TON about himself) I do not hear from B at all after this...which is fine because my emotions are all over the place. Well than, I get to work this morning and find his business card on my desk. B stopped into my work this morning but left without even saying hi to me. Talked to everyone else though.....so I call him and ask why he did not even say hi, he apogizes over and over again saying he had to get to work, I ask him why the business card was under my desk, he says it was to just show that him and K were down by my office and they put it under my door.....?????????????????????????? This guy is going to be 38 this wekend-what is going on???? He is everything I am looking for except for all of these mind games. I keep thinking he really doesn't like me or else he would ask me out. Right? I think K is trying to hook us up and is doing this. I just do not know. I do not know what to do>..Augh!!!!<p>P.S. I forgot to add that he stopped by to see me 3 days after the movie thing at his house but I was out of the office-friends told me he was lurking around and stopped in my office than asked where I was...<p>[ January 09, 2002: Message edited by: White Dove ]</p>

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by White Dove:
<strong>WHY IS IT THAT NO ONE HAS ASKED ME OUT!!!!!!</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Wanna go out? [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Now you can't say that anymore and you can say you turned someone down... [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I haven't dated anyone for 13 years so I have no idea who suppose to ask. Let me offer one thought, because it's an experience I recently had. I'm very outgoing on friendly matters but shy on daing ones. A successful, fit, extremely attractive woman asked me out for dinner a couple weeks ago. I went and we had a great time. I would of never asked her out probably because I thought she was "out of my league". Maybe "B" is slightly intimidated.... Just a thought....<p>Best of luck to ya

ALRIGHT!!! I HAVE FINALLY OFFICIALLY BEEN ASKED OUT!!! Tell you what we will meet somewhere between Kansas and Ohio!!! Thank you for your advice. I think you hit the nail on the head. My best friend ran into B's friend K and K said he had nothing to do with the business card in my office. I will let this fester for a bit and see if this is what I really want. We have alot in common-sometimes too much and that scares me....<p>You are always there for me Bill...you are my Hero!!!!I will dance if you ask me to dance and I will save your soul tonight!!!

Hey no fair, I finally got the nerve up to ask an attractive, physically fit, successful, green-eyed, not-flat-chested woman out and she accepted my offer. I just have to drive like 6 hours to meet in the middle. OK, Friday night, I get off around 6pm so we can meet at midnight but I have to leave to 3am to get back to coach basketball games on Saturday. LOL!!!!!!<p>I was in Dayton a couple years ago and then we went up to Cleveland. Beautiful country up that way. My girls competed in Baton Nationals. This year we get the privilege of doing that in Iowa. Yippeee, I&#8217;ll get to see all my x-out-laws&#8230;..<p>&#8220;&#8221;&#8221;I will dance if you ask me to dance and I will save your soul tonight!!!&#8221;&#8221;&#8221;<p>OK, will you dance???????
[img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ January 09, 2002: Message edited by: LostHusband ]</p>

Hi White Dove,<p>Well, to me it sounds like he's a bit immature. Yes, that may be a harsh judgement to make on such little information, but so far, here are the clues we have about B:<p>* B seems to be sorta interested in you.
* K has probably communicated to B that you would be interested in going out with him.
* B hasn't asked you out, despite several chances to do so.
* B seems a bit self-centered.
* B is either shy, intimidated, a procrastinator or not really that interested.<p>I think K is trying to get you two together and maybe B is sorta interested and maybe not.<p>If it was me, I'd say forget it. Don't do anything about it. Just be yourself and don't even think about it much more. I think you're right, if he wanted to ask you out, he would have by now. You can even tell K that.<p>Do you want to be with a guy who can't (for whatever reason) make that sort of decision? I don't necessarily....even if he "seems" to be a great guy. <p>So just sit back and wait to see what happens. Don't dwell on it.<p>As for dating in general, I'm not quite in those shoes yet, but I live in a very small town and I too am a bit worried about ever getting a date again. I don't have kids and am a wonderful person (if I do say so myself!). <p>I think your attitude of allowing God to bring you the right person in the right time is a good one. However, He expects you to use your good mind and judgment also. Do you know what you want in your next partner? Making a list of those qualities might help. I did that and am finding that I feel differently about approaching dating...like I have some say about it instead of "will I ever meet anyone" type of attitude.<p>Good luck.
Aloha,
Ms.O

I agree with LH. He's probably intimidated, even afraid to ask you out. And he probably is too scared to let you know he's thinking about you.<p>In my own experience, the more I'm attracted to an utterly available, empirically attractive, intelligent woman, the more I'm afraid I'll screw up my chances by playing my cards wrong.<p>Say I do enjoy a moment of intimate conversation with this person. Suppose it's just a great time had by all.<p>Know what happens? I hold my cards. I never make a play! And that probably confuses the hell out of this nice person who thought I was interested in her.<p>That can be the result of insecurity, or inexperience, or having been off the market for a while, or just plain shyness. Who knows?<p>I would suggest you ask him out if you're interested in him. Why not? I wish there were better signs of a woman's interest in me. Hit me on the head with a club and drag me home. That's how to get my attention.<p>Sure, short skirts and tight sweaters get my attention too, but I never really think I'm the target!<p>B probably didn't realize he was talking about himself as much as he did. Oh jeez, did I just talk about myself throughout this whole post? Oh no! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

I have no real advice as I have been separated for a year, will be divorced in a month, and haven't dated in over 13 years. However, I do believe you need to trust your instincts. I did find it interesting that the men who have replied seem to feel he may be intimidated while the women seem to feel he may be playing games. I don't know enough to make a judgement. However, if you really do like him go for it just take it slow and see what happens.<p>K<p>PS- I can totally relate to feeling like WHY HASN'T ANYONE ASKED ME OUT? It is a big fear of mine. I think it goes with the fact that my STBX had and is still involved in an affair with a 21 year old. He is an alcoholic with a gambling addiction as well, and although I think he is a cutie, he is slightly overweight with thinning hair. I on the other hand am in good shape, am attractive, well educated, responsible, fun, and ALONE! I feel great injustice. Although I don't intend to date until my divorce is final, I have had a couple of offers, but they were way off (one was only 21(I guess my STBX and I attract that age!), I'm 33 with 4 kids!)

Thank you everyone. You have shown me two different sides-Women are from Venua and Men are from Mars-This is something to ponder over. I emailed him a brief remark we'll see what happens.....T<p>Bill, Can I wear fuzzy pink slippers on our date???

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by White Dove:
<strong>Bill, Can I wear fuzzy pink slippers on our date???</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Why certainly as long as you also wear a faded worn out green bath robe with holes in the butt, Oh and your hair must be up in rollers, shower cap is optional. It's a long but funny story.<p>
So you never said what we were gonna do on this date between midnight and 3am. And where the heck we gonna meet at?????????

White Dove,
Since you mentioned the Mars/Venus thing have you read Mars and Venus On A Date?<p>Two weeks ago I went on the first date I'd had for over 14yrs. I too thought no one would ever ask me out. But when it finally happened I ran out and bought that book. It really did help me see things from a different perspective. It gives the guys pov that we girls just don't see. It explains a lot. I wish I would have read it much sooner. <p>Anyway, things are going well for me. We've been out 2x's now. He calls just to say "hi" even. It took him 2yrs to get up the courage to ask me out, so there is hope.
I'm taking it very slow, and enjoying every minute of it (even the unsureness of it all).<p>ASM

SM, I will definitly look into the book-sounds interesting. <p>I am enjoying this right now. I called B last night to apologize for chewing him out and he said he deserved it -we talked for an hour-it was nice. I think God is letting it all go this way so it is not just a physical relationship like between Lost Husband and me-he only wants me for my body and holy bathrobe-by the way its pink-to match my slippers!! <p>Bill, I think we can try to figure out how to get rollers in my hair for three hours-because my hair is short. Lets meet at ????? I will be the one in the pink bathrobe holding a bunch of rollers!!<p>[ January 10, 2002: Message edited by: White Dove ]</p>

You know, I don't get this dating thing either.<p>x moved out almost 6.5 years ago, that's right. We've been divorced over 3 years. I didn't date at all until I'd been divorced 18 months. So, I had my first psst-divorce date 20 months ago.<p>Dated bachelor #1 (a local guy) for about 5 months. Have dated bachelor #2 (not a local guy) for about 8 months or so. <p>#1 was something I initiated. #2 was someone I met in a group and we hit it off well.<p>I live in a city of 1.2 million people. I assume there are some single men of an appropriate age - I just haven't met them. Not at church, school, children's schools, grocery store, library, children's activities, places I go just for me. I don't get it. Just don't get it. Mystifies me since fat x who had a bad haircut and who could be a body double for the Pillsbury Dough Boy and who has abyssmal social skills has marrried again.<p>But, right now, I like Bachelor #2 just fine.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by White Dove:
<strong>he only wants me for my body </strong><hr></blockquote><p>WHoa there Green Eyes. I WANT YOU FOR YOUR BODY and all this time I thought you had wanted me for my body. I merely wanted you for the green eyes, OK, the not-so-flat chest helps too.....<p>We're just gonna have to reschedule the date. If I have to put in extensions before we do the hair rolling it's gonna take more than three hours. BTW I know you enjoy matching and all but the bath robe must be light green with holes in the butt, pink is not acceptable. I guess I'm picky that way.......

O.K. you two, keep this post from getting too carried away! The visual imagery I am getting of you rendevous is hilarious!<p>Seriously though, I'm glad you called him White Dove. It sounds like he may be more shy or intimidated by the whole thing than anything. Remember also that sometimes people who are insecure come off as over confident to hide it. You had mentioned how the one time he talked a lot about himself. I like how you are taking it slow and getting to know eachother first. It sounds like a lot of fun! <p>Good Luck and keep us posted!<p>K

I'm brand new to this thing too and absolutely scared to death but is it just me or why is it that you have to look at this guy like he will be the last chance.<p>Why don't you ask him out? If it works out then, Great! If not, then learn from the experience. There are already red flags going up all over the place about his ability to commit and actually express himself, so ask him out, see what he is all about and then make a decision from there. Stop "what if'ing" and and take the bull by the horns.<p>What have you to lose? If you wait, you may never go on the date. If you ask and it doesn't work out then you are back to where you were. If it works out then....<p>Just a thought.

Bill, I have a green bathrobe and hair long enough for rollers. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by cinderella:
<strong>Bill, I have a green bathrobe and hair long enough for rollers. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] </strong><hr></blockquote><p>But my Princess I must ask do you have the "Pink Fuzzie Slippers"? Oh and is the green robe old enough to have holes in stategially appealing places????? [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>BTW I already have a date for tonight with the most beautiful 9 year old in the world......

You guys are a trip!<p>Has anyone checked out the online "matching" service called EHarmony.com?<p>Well, a friend of mine used it... met three men and started corresponding. Narrowed it down to one... they finally met (he's a pilot) and she was working as a missionary in Romania. He flew there (OMG, how romantic).<p>Okay, so then she moves back to the US and gets a job in Portland... since he is a pilot, he can live where he wants... he chooses the apartment next door, in Portland... five months later, they're engaged.<p>Pure bliss... I HOPE!<p>Anyway, just wondering if anyone else had any experience like this... I think it's Christian site... they match you with about 25 people and then you choose to start corresponding.<p>I'm just dreamin' cuz I'm not even divorced yet. Gosh, and am I even talking like this on a marriage builders site? Shame on me... oh where my vain imaginings take me when feeling so rejected! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Cheers all!
Nicole

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by OvrCs:
<strong>You guys are a trip!<p>Has anyone checked out the online "matching" service called EHarmony.com?<p></strong><hr></blockquote><p>Whose the trip now? Nicole where the heck did all that come from? LOL....<p>Anyway, I've played around a little bit on some dating sites, mainly just checking them out and like you "DREAMING"....<p>BTW That story is soooooooo romantic, When is Ms. Right gonna sweep me off my feet??????

Well, it doesn't have holes and I am not partial to fuzzy slippers. Pink ones, blue ones, it doesn't matter. I can wear any color slippers you wish. I would gladly wear slippers for a man. Much more comfortable than a strapless bra.