I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 18 YEARS (DEC. 28TH) AND HAVE 3 KIDS. MY HUSBAND AND I OWN A TRUCKING COMPANY AND WORK TOGETHER ALMOST EVERY DAY. OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN GOING DOWN-HILL FOR THE PAST YEAR. THE STRESSES OF THE BUSINESS TEND TO TAKE THEIR TOLL ON US. IN THE PAST 6 MONTHS WE HAVE DEFINATELY BEGAN TO CLOSE EACH OTHER OFF. WHEN WE ARE TOGETHER WE NEVER SEEM TO HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY OR TALK ABOUT, EXCEPT BUSINESS, WHICH IS SUPPOSE TO BE "OFF-LIMITS" ON OUR WEEKLY DATES. MY HUSBAND HAS STARTED GOING OUT WITH THE "GUYS" ONCE OR TWICE A WEEK. SINCE HE HAS BEEN DOING THAT, HE DOESN'T SEEM TO "NEED" ME OR NEED TO CONVERSE WITH ME. HE TOLD ME LAST NIGHT HE IS BORED AND NEVER HAS ANYTHING TO SAY ANYMORE. WHAT DO YOU TALK ABOUT AFTER 18 YEARS WHEN YOU HAVE ALREADY SAID IT ALL AND KNOW EACH OTHER SO WELL????

Say: "Let's play a game" and do something you don't normally do. My H & I enjoy playing You Don't Know Jack and the topics give us things to talk about. <P>You're stuck in a rut and you need to do something different. One day my H said "what do you want to do?" I told him I wanted to play minature golf. What a weird suggestion for an "older" couple such as ourselves. We played a round and had a lot of fun and even went in to the arcade for some video games. We were like a couple of kids again. <P>Next time he asks me what I want to do, I want to go tour the Jellybelly factory. <P>Get the idea? <BR>Hope this helps.

Thanks for the suggestions, KarmaGrrl. We do do some "different" things, but my H's interests and mine never seem to click any more. He only seems to have a "one-track" mind and it doesn't usually seem to want to include me. Our oldest daughter will be graduating and going off to college next year, 2000. I guess we have come to that point in our relationship I have always feared, the "empty nest syndrome" where it's just me and him and we find we don't have anything in common anymore. We have always been "best friends" and done everything together, until now. That is why it is so frustrating. Could it be that we spend TOO much time together?? I suppose there are other "issues" that are probably too lengthy to expose. Things seem to be a little better right now. We both had a good talk and have been trying a little harder. It helps to have an "outside" party to talk to, though. Thanks!

Amousing--<P>I can empathize, though I'm at a different spectrum in life (was married for 16 yrs, newlywed now and blending a family of 3 kids).<P>H and I have very different interests, and he needs his "guy-time." It must be frustrating sometimes since you two work together. And it's probably easy for things TO become boring spending that much time together. A good marriage needs a lot of upkeep, no doubt about it. I worry occasionally about "empty nest syndrome."<P>Keep posting here to vent frustrations, share and seek advice. <P>(Karma--We LOVE "You Don't Know Jack." Great idea.)<P>I'm glad things are a little better for you now. Try to keep the communication lines open with your H. And I'll bet you can come up with lots of different ways to spice things up!<P>Laura

Thanks for the support, Laura. My H and I have been married for a long time, but we were married at a very young age and are both only in our 30's. This past summer he started helping some of the local guys with their cars at the race track (big thing around this small "hick" town!) Then it progressed to going out for a "few" beers with the guys once a week, then twice a week. I just believe that that type of behavior only leads to trouble in the long run. Although that is also the "thing" to do around here. I just don't know how the other wives deal with their husbands doing that all the time. Anyway, we were separated about 5 years ago for 3 months, and it started out just like this. I thought maybe he was going through some "mid-life" crisis, but after our talk, I realize he just get's really stressed out with the business and needs to unwind. I do understand, but it is still hard to deal with at times because it leaves ME with no where to vent MY stress and frustrations. I am trying to find new interest and hobbies of my own to fill the "void" and so that I don't feel so down about it. The communication thing is the key, but a lot of times he just doesn't want to talk about things with me. He says he just needs some guy time. Oh well.