It has been over a year since I grab my wife by the throat and choke her. This is something I am not proud of and very embrassed about. <BR>After a month in half, I decided to go to counseling and my wife join the session. The couseling did both us some good and we got somethings off our chest. I also turn to God and ask for forgiveness and build a closer relationship with him.<P>After the months went by, we started doing things together like we used to do, like it was when we was dating...like holding hands, spending more time together. She also got me to go to places...like women stores which I never did in the past.<P>Everything was running real smooth, I decided to plan a trip to Orlando for a week. We had a wonderful trip and thought we were back on the way back to what we had.<P>The only thing missing from our realationship is sex and romance. We only had sex twice in a year as far as romance, we do not kiss that last longer than a minute.<P>Me and wife discuss it and she mention that her mother was abuse by her father and now she is going some sort of dramatization.<P>Me personally, I was doing fine for moment, then all of sudden it just hit me at once. While we was in Florida for a week, we did not have any sexually encounter or romancing.<P>I started feeling unwanted but my wife told me it's not me...but her. She told me she would start crying without any reason and would get in a depression mode every now and then.<P>During the whole year, I felt in love with my wife all over again and it is real frustrating not able to reach out to someone you love like you want to. It is now taking its toll on me and now I am getting depress.<P>I do not know how to handle this because who ever thought after a year, we will not have sex in our lives. During the last year I felt so guilty for what I done, so I tried to comfort her and make her feel good about herself by doing those little things...like telling how good she looks. <BR>I thought this would bring us closer together and she would be feel safer around me. My wife told me, stop trying to fix the problem because it not you...it's me.<P>What should I do? I really love my wife and is very content to be her. I do not have any desire to be with anyone else but the adult movies and masturbation is getting old.<BR>

You do not say what caused you to physically harm your wife or how long you were in counseling, but my guess would be that it was not long enough. <P>It sounds as if your wife needs counseling to overcome her past and you also need counseling to find out why you would harm her.<P>There is counseling available in this marriage builders forum with Dr. Harley. Pick up the phone and give him a call for an appointment. I wouldn't wait another minute!