Hi my name is Tami and I am new here. I am just wondering if anyone has any ideas that may help me or is it to late. My husband and I have been together a little over eight years we have been married just now five. I have a 10 year old daughter of a previous marriage. I also have a 6 yr old son and a 5 yr old daughter from my husband now. I am also 3 1/2 months pregnant. Ok he left home in July 2001 we were going to marriage counseling for a few months and then our counselor had to leave on maternity leave. We had some arguements here and there because I missed him and wanted to see him more often. He always says he misses us, he loves us, he wants to come home but he does not want to fight. I understand. He is unwilling to come home and try because he is scared he will have to leave again. He just recently Jan 22 filed for divorce did not even tell me until I was served and called him and confronted him about it. I love my husband I DO NOT want a divorce and I wish I did not have to sign these papers. I love him very much and would do anything to save our marriage not only for him and I but for the children too. Please if anyone has any ideas or can help please feel free to email me at greeneyes_1976@hotmail.com or answer here. I wish he had found someone to talk to about this before he took this step. Thank you. Very hurt and confused...Tami Lynn<p>[ February 04, 2002: Message edited by: Tami Lynn ]</p>

HELLO,
I A'M SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT WHAT IS HAPPENING TO U. I LOVE MY HUSBAND VERY MUCH TOO. BUT I A'M AT MY BREAKING POINT DUE TO LIES AND DISRESPECT AND HURTFULL THINGS HE HAS DONE TO ME THROUGH THE 10 YRS OF MARRIGE. I REALLY DON'T HAVE MUCH ADVICE TO GIVE TO U EXCEPT THAT MAYBE U CAN FIND A NOTHER MARRIGE COUNCLER FOR NOW AND GO YOURSELF,TO HELP U DEAL WITH WHAT AL IS HAPPENING TO U.AND READ AS MUCH AS U CAN ON THIS SITE,AS WELL AS TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FOR IF U DON'T THEN U WON'T BE ABLE TO THINK CLEARLY AND WORK OUT SOME THINGS IN YOUR OWN MIND WHAT TO DO. I KNOW THAT IS HARD, BUT IT HAST TO BE DONE. I A'M TRYING TO DO THE SAME THING AT THE MOMENT. YOU WILL BE IN MY PRAYERS. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Tami Lynn:
<strong>Hi my name is Tami and I am new here. I am just wondering if anyone has any ideas that may help me or is it to late. My husband and I have been together a little over eight years we have been married just now five. I have a 10 year old daughter of a previous marriage. I also have a 6 yr old son and a 5 yr old daughter from my husband now. I am also 3 1/2 months pregnant. Ok he left home in July 2001 we were going to marriage counseling for a few months and then our counselor had to leave on maternity leave. We had some arguements here and there because I missed him and wanted to see him more often. He always says he misses us, he loves us, he wants to come home but he does not want to fight. I understand. He is unwilling to come home and try because he is scared he will have to leave again. He just recently Jan 22 filed for divorce did not even tell me until I was served and called him and confronted him about it. I love my husband I DO NOT want a divorce and I wish I did not have to sign these papers. I love him very much and would do anything to save our marriage not only for him and I but for the children too. Please if anyone has any ideas or can help please feel free to email me at greeneyes_1976@hotmail.com or answer here. I wish he had found someone to talk to about this before he took this step. Thank you. Very hurt and confused...Tami Lynn<p>[ February 04, 2002: Message edited by: Tami Lynn ]</strong><hr></blockquote>

Hi Tami:
I'm so sorry that you are hurting so bad. Do you remember that saying "If you love someone let it go - if it comes back to you then it was meant to be" (or something like that). I have always done it in my life and for the most part things usually happen for a reason. Let Go and Let God take care of everything. You need to take care of yourself. You are caring another child you do not need to be stressed out. I wish I could be there to hold you and comfort you. I know it is easier said then done. But you will be in my prayers. If you would like to talk send it directly to me at alwysfaithful@hotmail.com. God Bless, Joani<p>
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Tami Lynn:
<strong>Hi my name is Tami and I am new here. I am just wondering if anyone has any ideas that may help me or is it to late. My husband and I have been together a little over eight years we have been married just now five. I have a 10 year old daughter of a previous marriage. I also have a 6 yr old son and a 5 yr old daughter from my husband now. I am also 3 1/2 months pregnant. Ok he left home in July 2001 we were going to marriage counseling for a few months and then our counselor had to leave on maternity leave. We had some arguements here and there because I missed him and wanted to see him more often. He always says he misses us, he loves us, he wants to come home but he does not want to fight. I understand. He is unwilling to come home and try because he is scared he will have to leave again. He just recently Jan 22 filed for divorce did not even tell me until I was served and called him and confronted him about it. I love my husband I DO NOT want a divorce and I wish I did not have to sign these papers. I love him very much and would do anything to save our marriage not only for him and I but for the children too. Please if anyone has any ideas or can help please feel free to email me at greeneyes_1976@hotmail.com or answer here. I wish he had found someone to talk to about this before he took this step. Thank you. Very hurt and confused...Tami Lynn<p>[ February 04, 2002: Message edited by: Tami Lynn ]</strong><hr></blockquote>

Hi,<p>This link will get you started..<p>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=34&t=005023

By coming to the Divorcing/Divorced board you have jumped ahead of yourself a bit. Of course you are welcome here, but try reading around the site, especially about Plan A and Plan B. This would give you a good idea of where to start.
Elizabeth

I dont know how to post back to people who have offered advice to me. So I am trying I just wanted to say thank you. I am trying to make my way around this site. Again thank you....Tami

Hi Tammy and welcome. I feel deeply for you. My ExH left and did not come back because he did not want to start a trend like that also. (His father has done it to his mother a couple of times so he saw what she went thru) I am sorry to hear that you were given papers. That is hard to take. My exh slapped me with papers,threatened me with shutting off the utilities if I didn't get them in my name, moved out and announced he was moving in with OW all in one day. I was numb the whole day. (He even got sick in the bathroom and left me the mess!) I can only emphasize with what you are going thru being pregnant and all. Do you think he is involved with someone else? Does he have depression problems? I say that by him saying he doesn't want to come back to turn around and leave again that his self esteem my be low. I truly hope that this can be worked out. You are welcome to post anywhere you desire. (I mean some of the people that post on this board also post on the recovery board-so are they recovering their marriage or divorcing????)