Well, guys, the title says it all. H has come up with some deal to present to me, and I am meeting with the lawyer shortly to find out what it is. I won't be agreeing to anything until my financial advisor looks it over, anyway. Just dread what he might have done.<p>Looks like I will be getting that divorce in July.<p>I feel numb, and yet I thought I was used to the idea.....damn rollercoaster [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] .<p>
Life sucks sometimes.

Hi Ninatoo, I know what your going thru I am going thru very similar circumstances and yes it does suck.<p>You are very smart to have a advisor check out his offer, I too will be doint tthe same. I wish you the best and hope it works in your favor.<p>
Sally

I know how you feel. Dealing with the legal realities puts everything right back into perspective.<p>The day after the baby was born, WH was meeting with his attorney, and he told me he spent all day getting ready for our court hearing in April.<p>The way he talks about it makes it seem like it's some game to him, while I'm over here with my life being ripped apart.<p>It sounds like what you've been doingover the past months has prepared you to make the right decisions for your family, even though they're not the decisions you've been wanting to make.<p>My time will be coming soon enough. Good Luck. K

Just got back.<p>He is trying to backdate our date of separation so he can file for divorce now. I did not expect that at all, and I am devastated.

Also he underestimated our assets (no surprise there)so I have to go and see my finance guy to get those little mathematical errors sorted out.<p>Sound strong, don't I? I am sitting here crying my eyes out........lies, lies and more lies.<p>I guess OW being the big expert on divorce (three times)has helped him....he will be number four, and I will officially be a single mother.<p>Life still sucks.<p>Anna, IM isn't working.

Be smart and think everything through! You just don't know what might come up. Everyone tells me to take what my WH is going to give me and run. It leaves me with no money in the bank and a 16 yr old house.....plumming...heater...you name it....the day after the divorce if something breaks...what am I supposed to do??? Smile at the repairman??? I just don't think they get it!<p>Good luck to you!

Nina...<p>I know how much this hurts..... just when you think things are moving along... they come up with something else...... mostly lies.<p>My ex and his lawyer once filed papers so I would have to change my last name!!!! Now I find out that ow has my same first name..... and I heard they're getting married... of course I didn't change my last name.....I have children.<p>Just remember this......don't put ANYTHING past the wayward spouse.... they will only do what benefits them !!!!! REMEMBER the WS are liars, cheats and thieves. Selfish !!<p>When it comes time to settle..... take YOUR time... remember this is for you and your children.......don't let any stone go unturned!!!
I found several things my exh lawyer tried to sneak in there......<p>Keep your chin up and cry those tears.... its best to let it out..... <p>Blessings,<p>s

Jacky,
please be careful and do not agree to anything without supervisin.
Do not make my mistakes (you know the story).
Once agreement is signed you can't expect anything from him, no matter how many promises he made.
I was the naive one believing if I agree without a battle he would be back faster! Stupid one!
I only put a red carpet under her (OW) shoes not to make them dirty!!!!!!!!
Now I regret, want annulment of the settlement but that can be made only with a, at least, 10 yrs long court process and a possibility of loosing my reputation as a university proff (you know: titles, education and intellect are not always correlated).
So be smart, smarter than me and do not hurry.
Love

you over estimate everything especialy your living expense, allow for anything you think of for you and kids, you are wise to have and advisor, I know how this sucks, but remember this is the finacial part and you have to protect yourself.

Thanks everyone. Yes, the practical side of me has to be at the forefront now, and I guess I have to learn to be ruthless too. I think this whole thing is about to get very nasty.<p>I have been the only one playing fair all along. I hate lying, HIS that is; of ALL of this, that is the ONE thing that just makes my blood boil more than anything. And now I have to play dirty pool, because he is forcing my hand. He is just a complete alien.<p>jabber, thanks for coming to my thread...I know you don't reply much anymore.........and to all others who replied, heartfelt thanks.<p>
Love and light,<p>Jacky.

Jacky, I'm so sorry that this has opened the old wounds. I'm sorrier to tell you that everyone I know says to expect them to be reopened regularly, no matter how strong you are. Divorce stinks, and there's no way around it. <p>But remember, life with that lying, no-good alien who has taken over the body of the man you once loved would stink worse. Were I you, I'd look at his "offer" as a reminder of all the reasons you don't want him back, and take strength from that. <p>I know you'll make sure the practicalities are taken care of, and your kids are protected from his madness as much as they can be.<p>Live well- it's the best revenge.<p>[ March 05, 2002: Message edited by: dabigtrain ]</p>

dabigtrain........friend....<p>Thank you for replying. Good advice too. Yes I know the man is a louse...do I want that? No way. My life will be better off without his constant presence, I know that for sure. I have a new life now, and I am enjoying it for the most part. I want this over...I don't want it dragged out, but that doesn't mean I will settle for less than what the kids deserve.<p>I am much better this morning; the good thing is that as time goes on, those old hurts disappear faster. Instead of weeks, it becomes days, then hours....one day, I will be able to merely give them a passing thought. I just get tired of all the battles to keep my head up, ya know?<p>By the way, I tried sending an email to your hotmail addy recently, and it bounced back...<p>Love and light,<p>Jacky

Hi Jacky-<p>I read this and felt so badly for you. Luckily, you have been given some very good advice and you have the benefit of being apart for long enough to not let your emotions get the best of you.<p>Your husband is a louse and he can't be trusted. My X is the same way. They are thinking of nobody but themselves, and everything you and the kids get is something he has to do without or scrimp on. You are very wise to have a financial planner look things over, this is your future we are talking about. Things may get dirty, but remember to stick to your guns and remain honest. Then even though he dislikes it, you have done nothing wrong and it will stand.<p>He will play dirty, that is his style. Don't let him hurt you. I know this is easier said than done, but really try to brush off his words and actions, they simply don't represent the truth. You are a wonderful person and mother. No matter how nasty he gets or what he says or does that will never change.<p>Take care and God bless!<p>Kim

Thanks everyone.......gee this is hard.<p>Wish me luck now, pray for me, send me light. I am about to leave for my appointment with the financial advisor.<p>Love and light, and thank you all,<p>Jacky