I am currently in a very bad situation. My husband had filed for a divorce, which i am currently contesting. He keeps claiming that he doesn't love me anymore and that he never will. He refuses to get any help for us. I am almost sure that he has a girlfriend, but he keeps denying it. But he had repeatingly meet this women on the sly and this women also left him messages such as "hi sweetie, just called to say I love you". Yet my husband, when confronted with all this insists they are only friends. He says maybe she feels sorry for him because of the way i have treated him, and that is why she leaves him such messages. Might I add that this women used to also be my very good friend and now she hangs up on me when i have tried to talk to her saying things such as "believe what you want to believe, f--- you, bye" and "don't call me ever again, can't you understand english" As you can see, I have trouble believing what my husband is saying. He moved out to the living room a month ago, and now he is doinbg anything he can to make my life miserable so that I will leave the house. I have plenty of grounds to sue him for divorce, but as of yet I don't want to. Everyone I have talked to, including counslers and friends has advised me that there is almost no chance (because they never will say never) that my husband will change his mind. I am the one being hurt buy all this because for now, I have resisted "moving on with my life". There is nothing that I would want more than to have a chance to work things out with my husband. Am I being totally unrealistic in waiting for the smallest chance that things will turn around for us? Is there anyone out there who has been in an almost impossible situation that has reversed itself? If there is, please tell me about it and tell me what you did to change things. Because nothing I do is right for him. He has found fault with anything I do. He has twisted things that happened in the past. He has changed telephone numbers and locks on cars so that I can't get into them. He has closed down checking, saving accounts and crdit cards. He is acting like a monster and a complete stranger to me. So please thank you if you have any advice to give me.

You never mentioned children so I am assuming that you have none. With your husband closing accounts and changing locks it's obvious that he's geared toward divorce. By you doing nothing your not protecting yourself in the event of a divorce either. In my honest opinion, if he's really determined to get a divorce you can't stop him. By refusing in every way it might only make him extremely bitter and you'll never have a chance of making it work. If my husband was extremely unhappy being married too me and knew for sure that he wanted a divorce I know I wouldn't fight it. Sometimes looking like your getting on with your life is just what brings them back.

Nancy,<P>I have experienced much of what you have described. My divorce was final on Jan 25 of this year. After only 5 1/2 weeks of first being told that she even wanted a divorce. <P>The one place that I found comfort in was in God. He led me to several great websites on restored marriages, one of them being <A HREF="http://www.restorem.com" TARGET=_blank>www.restorem.com</A> Please read my post "Remarry your ex" under Other Topics.<P>Doug