Thinker I just read your post...I wanted to say that all though divorce should be the very last choice, you and SNL have been going through this for way too long...SNL was all talk. You finally took the bull by the horn and so no more. GOOD FOR YOU!<p>SNL was the one that kept saying he's emotionally divorced from you but you are the one that finally did something about it. I'm glad you did. <p>So...What now? Does he get to come in your residence?<p>One piece of advice, stop talking to him about the divorce, only talk to him about the children, tell him to go through your attorney.<p>Good luck and I hope he will open his eyes and see that he should "emotionally undivorce you", but if he doesn't, Thinker, you do not need this man. You deserve happiness and he was making your life miserable.<p>Take care,<p>ANNA

Well the same thing is happening. I am away at a horse show with oldest daughter. He is sleeping in his home, which he carries a picture of his bedroom around with him. He goes to my house every day, eats there, uses the computer there, washes clothes there and baths there. In the divorce papers, asked him to ask if he can come into the house. SNL of course is going to be SNL. He states I can go into this house any time I want to. It is my house, and no one is going to tell me to get out of this house. But I asked him to go into his house over the phone, and guess what, he said we will call the police and have them escort me around the house. <p>Asked him to ask me if he could come to the house, but he won't. It is the control thingy brain. He is losing control, and is using it to overpower me, and make me miserable. I told him to let loose of his control and to take a break. I said, one day your control is going to get you in deep trouble. If it comes where I have to get an PPO on him, then he will be put in jail. He said put me in jail, throw him in the trenches, he doesn't see how controlling he is then makes you the victim for being unreasonable. He will not take a stand and say yes SNL is being an idiot, and SNL should be saying, lets let go of control and try to act like a human being. Things are not going well, SNL basically called me a F*c*ing B*t*h 20-30 times today. He doesn't care about me, just wants to use me. He wants me to work now, didn't for all these years. See how the paper roll is coming out, for his benefit to wipe things up.<p>I am under an extreme amount of stress, back is hurting, and am seeing a spinal specialist on the 20th. Already stated I have sprained trapezous muscle in R shoulder, with acute inflammation. SNL is not sorry he did this to me, he is not sorry he got into the safe deposit bank illegally knowing it had 2 signatures to be there at the same time, the person there screwed up and SNL is not sorry. <p>He shows no remorse about our son seeing the sexual e-mail that was graphic that SNL sent to our sons printer. He says it was a learning experience for our son. <p>One thing happened last week. Our son has these shelves in his room from about 7 years ago. We bought out a company and all the computers were placed on the shelves in sons room. Son has asked dad to get them out. I took the iniative and cleaned up the room upstairs, everything in boxes, and son put all the computers on shelves upstairs. Son spent 3 days cleaning his room, going through papers, and etc. His room was such a mess that you couldn't walk in there. Crap all over the floor. You should see it now. I could tell this was making him happy. He reallly was into cleaning.<p>Anyways enough for now. Will keep you informed on what is going on.

Thinker,<p>You can have the locks changed on the doors..to keep him out...do that ASAP!!! then if he tries to break the doors down you can have him arrested for breaking and entering..<p>He's moved out of the house..so you can change the locks since he refuses to return the keys..<p>I am really sorry this has come down to this for you..but divorce unfortunately can get very ugly..
I'm equally sorry he's taken on the attitude that
it's okay for your son to see these e-mails..
especially if they are exlpict..to me thats like
handing your child a bag of drugs and not care if they use them or not..not caring at all about your
son's emotional and mental health is not a healthy
parental thing to do...

Thinker,<p>I've got a really busy day today and tomorrow. I have to go in to work today because tomorrow I have to be in court for the divorce.<p>TR is right Thinker, change the locks. Also, she's right about those emails. You need to get your children in to see a psycholigist that deals with families splitting up.<p>I had a seminar last week on children coping with divorce...here's some of the things they said.<p>What is the one thing that can help your children cope with divorce more than anything else?<p>Answer...Take care of YOU.<p>If you don't get enough sleep, if you don't eat properly, if you are always stressed, this will all reflect on your children, you will be cranky, you will not be able to help them, they will be too concerned about you.<p>Divorce isn't just about your feelings but it usually effects children even more than you. Children often hide this because they know the parent is hurting...<p>Think about this, <p>How many times in your life have you moved?
How many times in your life have things changed?
How many times in your life has some one died?<p>Because we are older, we have had a lot of changes, we have learned coping skills. <p>More than likely for most children, divorce is the biggest change, the biggest tragedy a child has had to go through. It is sad that the first really truly bad thing in a child's life had to be the break up of his family.<p>Your children need to you to be strong and move on. They need you to get over this.<p>Lastly, reports have indicated, by interviewing grown children in divorces, if a parent can not cope with the divorce and the break up of the marriage for more than a year to 18 months, that child will more than likely have lasting psychological effects from this.<p>However, in interviewing children with both parents being able to cope with the divorce, and put it behind them in 18 months or less, over all these children did not have lasting psycological problems. <p>We need to get past this tragedy in our lifes, for ourselves and for the children.<p>Take care and I will send you an email in a few days.<p>ANNA

Yes I know this is hard, but the thing that kills me is he injured me pretty badly, and doesn't show concern for my injury or for the possible outcome of the injury. He justifies it just like all the other justifications, if you had not come over for the key this would of not happened. He switched keys in the safe deposit key jackets. So I had the wrong key, and he basically told me he was not giving it to me cause I wouldn't cooperate with him. <p>For all of you old timers, things are really ugly, SNL has lied to most of you guys. He repeadedly told me that he construed some of the stuff to get you guys riled up. So that a discussion would result. <p>This man is sick, he had severe apnea deprivation for 5 years before he would go to the doctor for help. I was the one that cared for him and made the appt. But do I get thanks for all I did. I think he has brain damage for all those years without sleep, and without the correct 02 getting to his brain. <p>He is grossly overweight, 80-90 pounds and now that I am not home, he is getting on the treadmill to work out. Of course eating our food, and making himself productive to show the kids that yes dad is good. At least he is getting things done, but not the mold problem we have with leaking pipes that have been there for at least 10 years. One wall in the bathroom is squishy and smells and is black with mold. I poor pure bleach on it, and the wall is falling apart. <p>I am going to have the house priced for sale when I get back. I don't want the house, unless SNL gets everything fixed up and finished. I want a garage that he has promised for the last 7 years. We don't have molding up, we don't have flooring on 50% of the house, we have plywood, and I have to put many throw rugs down to prevent slivers. For the staircase, we don't have regular staircase rods, we have 2x4s for us to hang on, no light fixtures, just hanging bulbs, The outside was painted 2 years ago, partially, with only one coat. The painters quit, and we have masking tape on the house and sheets of old cover paper, and tape on the windows. I wanted to take and clean all that off while it was fresh, but SNL said no, he is taking the guys to court, I have not seen any court process in the last 3 years. We have no outside lights, the wires are there tied up, The doors that are up, aren't finished, and 3 rooms have no doors on them. <p>SNL made promises and didn't do anything about it. He is good at making promises, but to complete the job, he procrastinates so much, and now with procrastinating about his mothers house, she bought that land 3 years ago, and we had a good start, then SNL was involved with MRS.X(%^&#* that he didn't have time to work on the house. Well, his mother is being stressed because some guy keeps coming to her house that she sold and we think it is someone to serve her eviction papers. She doesn't answer the door, and stays away from the house as much as possible. We got a threat from the guy that he was going to tear the house down. She is 70 years old, and living in fear. She is a good woman, and she needs to have better than this. She is not married, and SNL was suppose to take care of her, and I cry for his mother a lot.<p>I can't change the locks, cause the kids will probably give SNL the new code, (except one). We have the door that has a pushbutton code on it. Talked to SNL today, and he is now having the kids outside cleaning up the yard, SNL has junk all over, looks like a hill billy yard. He is now cleaning it up and getting things out of there. I have begged and pleaded for so many years. SNL is one to throw things in the yard, doesn't put tools away, doesn't take care of his stuff. That is why he probably has a dozen hammers, duplicates of so many tools. He is a very disorganized man, in going to find himself in deep trouble if he doesn't get a handle on organizing.<p>Now he is messing around with keeping the bills and stuff at his house. So my filing system is going to be screwed big time. But SNL doesn't care, hey the electricity goes off, the water gets shut off, who cares. <p>Yes, I am distressed big time, and need counseling very badly. Our oldest daughter doesn't want to talk about the divorce. I feel the pain for her. She is worried about other things and it will be good for her to move out of the house and live north of us. She has a sort of job there, but not a qualified serious job. No benefits, so I don't know what is going to happen. <p>SNL doesn't think the kids will be hurt, SNL doesn't think that this will have an effect on the kids. He is totally wrong, you can read his posts, he stated it over and over. But the main thing he wants is to have everyone leave him alone. I don't, I want my friends over, I want my friends to talk to. SNL doesn't have a friend except for you guys and his private e-mails. SNL hasn't been exactly the personable type of person to make friends. His best friend he doesn't talk to cause he doesn't like his wife. Cause his wife rules the house, and this is not what SNL thinks the wife should do. So he probably things that his friend is a wimp.<p>Now SNL states to me that MB is a cult. He states to me repeadedly that Steve doesn't know what he is talking about, he states that Steve is out for the money. He states to me that MB is out to get rich. He says, why do you think they have all those seminars? SNL always, and will continue the rest of his life to put others down, when he can't justify something. Or when others don't think his way.<p>Like his OW, she used him, took our money, took WH time away from his work, and now he tells me he doesn't give a sH*t about her. The future will tell, God knows the truth, and SNL will have to one day face the fence of heaven and tell God the truth or not and if not go to h*ll.<p>I am sorry that many of you have fallen for his statements of false words. A lot of statements were true, but many were false. This man is messed up mentally, and I am going to try to help him by seeing a psychiatrist if he will go. So far he says he is fine the way he is, so we will see. He is severely depressed, noted by the Harleys. <p>Anyways, I am to be a XW sometime probably at the end of the year. This is not what I wanted, but SNL has wanted it all along. So he should be happy and dancing on tables, and laughing it up. I cry and cry, I am taking more medication daily cause the stress is getting so bad. I have Rosacea and with stress it causes it to flair up. I look like a red tomato, most of the time. <p>SNL and I could of had a very good loving marriage, but he found a promiscous woman that gave him everything he wanted and he is out to find her or another promiscous woman. He stated to me just the other day, he didn't want me to meet his needs, and he didn't want to meet my needs. Hurts like h*ll, but does SNL care, just like the comparison of me sexually and the OW, SNL still says it was biology, SNL is hurting I know, but he has severely hurt me both mentally and now physically. SNL does not care one iota.

Thinker,<p>PLEASE, if you're gonna continue to post here, talk about YOU and YOUR struggles, not about your STBX's lies. I know that many complain about their spouses, but in the majority of cases, the spouse does not read or post here. You know for a fact that SNL does, and it only adds fuel to the fire. Come to get support for YOURSELF, but do not add fuel to an already RAGING inferno!<p>This has been something that has been REPEATED to you over and over again. This is no longer about SNL, it is about YOU.<p>You said:
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>...Now SNL states to me that MB is a cult... He states to me repeadedly that Steve doesn't know what he is talking about...<hr></blockquote><p>Why did you write this paragraph at all? The only reason I can imagine is to make us rally against SNL. You know what scares me about this kind of talk, thinker, is that when people don't rally 'round you will go a step further and begin to post what SNL says about us. "SNL thinks that new_beginning is a big mouth snotface" or something like that. When will this madness stop?<p>Thinker, I am going to ask you AGAIN to STOP all this name-calling, dirt-flying and justifying. Yes, you are hurt, and have a right to be. Yes, SNL is a talker and debater, and chose to do that instead of working on his marriage. He as much as admitted that. HE IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM ANYMORE - YOU ARE! <p>I'm very sure your kids are hurt, as ALL children are, no matter what their ages, when parents divorce. Don't make it WORSE by trying to fix the blame.<p>I had a sign in my office for a long time, and I think it fits here:<p>DON'T FIX THE BLAME, FIX THE PROBLEM. <p>The problem right now is that you need to take care of YOU and your children. <p>SNL needs to take care of himself too, but that's NOT YOUR PROBLEM.<p>Do whatever is necessary to take care of yourself, your children, your home. SNL has made his choice. YOU now must go on living, and you can't do that if you're fixated on him.

Thinker,<p>go read Sheryl's post again. It makes sense.<p>I only started healing when I put the whole mess behind me. Yes it is very hard.<p>I am not sure how old your children are but they are at least teenagers, I think.<p>I hurt my OS more than words can say because of the pain I was in at the time. Children no matter their age are hurt by their parents continuned pain.<p>But who is right or wrong behind you & work on YOU, your house, don't except SnL to help you. Don't except anything from SnL.<p>As far as SnL in your house, have a family meeting & talk to your children, do they want him coming & going or can they understand that having him in the house even if you are not there is painful for you.<p>My STBX comes to my home to visit our sons. It works for us, most of the time I arrange to be away but if I am not I go to another part of the house or just do what I want. This is something I do not for the STBX but for my sons. <p>Thinker, think about you and forget Snl.<p>Hoping you both find peace.

Thinker,
I will try one more time.
I am sorry it has come to this, but like Anna, I think it is well past time based on our limited glimpses into your lives and marriage as posted here. I fully support the steps you have taken to try and make some healthy decisions for your future.<p>However, I am still gravely concerned about you based on your continued (and seemingly deepening) obsession with SNL and what he is or isn't doing. Who cares how many hammers he has or whether he has 15 cars up on blocks in his yard. Or whether he is brain damaged from not sleeping for the past 5 years or whether he is 4,000 pounds overweight???? You couldn't fix those issues then and you sure cannot fix them now.<p>The only thing you have a shred of hope to heal is YOURSELF and your young adult children. I know it is difficult. I know it is incredibly painful, but you simply must put SNL out of your mind. It is not your job to try and get him to a doctor or a therapist or anything. To think he is going to fix up your house and build the garage he promised you 7 years ago is ridiculous. It is not going to happen. If the house is truly falling down around you (as you describe - pouring bleach on a bathroom wall to try and get rid of the soft, squishy mold) you should probably put it on the market and see what you can get. A new start with a new house for Thinker may just be the best thing yet. <p>And to continue to think he is going to apologize for all the things you think he should is only causing you grief. LET IT GO. Not for him, for you. <p>I hope you are able to lean on the support that is offered, both here and in real life. You desperately need it. If you can, please try to take what is being said to you to heart. It is said out of concern and kindness.

Hi, I just can't stand living anymore. The pain is so hard to deal with. The memories are so hard to deal with, how is it one spouse can continue on like nothing happened and the other feels so much pain. I am away at a horse show with our oldest daughter. Can't express anything to her, she stated to me she doesn't want to talk about it. Of course she listened to her father talk and talk for the last 1 1/2 years. Now that I want to talk, NO she doesn't want to talk about it. <p>I have no one to talk to here, except for phone calls made to friends, and you guys. This is so hard being here, I know I am a depressed person for our daughter, (kids are 16-23 (2boys 2girls)). I find little to laugh about, and cry most of the time. I am crying now, cried in the pool at least I was able to go under water and cry my heart out. <p>I was suppose to talk to a therapist this week, but have to cancel it. Since I won't be at home to go. Another set back. Sometimes I feel God is making me go crazy, so I will be out of SNL's sight and he can do whatever he wants with all our belongings and stocks, and whatever. I will be in a institution. <p>Why is God doing this to me, have I been such a rotten person my whole life? Did I do what all SNL said on this thread - therefore punish me? Did I not try to help people enough? When is the pain and suffering going to stop. <p>Just found out a couple days ago, my fathers (my dad died in Jan. 2002 of cancer) brother has cancer. He is the closet uncle, and he looks so much like my father. This is killing me, to be here and my cousin of this uncle and I are quite close. He is a male but Don is so sweet and caring, he helped me through my dads illness, and held me at the funeral and we both cried. <p>You know, having 3 deaths in family in 5 months, uncle now ill, I had knee surgery in November, divorce filed, oldest daughter refusing to talk about relationship with me, WHY LIVE? Why try to put a good front up for people when I don't care to live? <p>Yes, I am on depression medication, not helping. I am on Xanax for nerves, feel dopey, I am on anti-inflamation drugs, on muscle relaxers, for the shoulder pain that SNL did to me. I would think it would be better to be dead, creamated and have my ashes thrown into the fields. This is not life, this is pure h*ll, pure torture, pure crap. Why live, when all you feel is loneliness, pain, depression. Bye for now!!!

Dear Thinker,<p>Although I am not the moderator for this area of the forum, I read the words of despair you have written. I would like to encourage you to call 1-800-SUICIDE, especially since you are out of town and unable to get to your personal physician.<p>While the Marriage Builder's website cannot legally become involved in threats of this kind, please know that your pain is taken seriously. <p>Please listen to those on this thread who have told you to FOCUS ON YOU, and not on what you are losing.<p>Life is precious.

thinker,<p>Please do listen to Boaz and call that number. Call your Doctor if you don't want to call that hotline.<p>Dearest thinker, you are in a great deal of pain and right now you can't seem to see pasdt the hurt. I wish I could take your pain away, but I can't.<p>Please think of how AWFUL and TRAUMATIC it would be for your children if you hurt yourself. They have suffered enough, thinker - please don't do anything that will add to their pain.<p>Call that number or your Doctor - NOW!<p>You are a GOOD person! So many here CARE about you!<p>Call....now! Desiree

Thinker,<p>I am so sorry for your pain. Please get counseling to help you move past this. Please change your locks, please get SNL out of your life as much as possible and please know SNL may not ever care about the things he does but he is only one speck in the world of many, there are so many other people who will love and care for you.<p>He may not ever feel remorse for hurting you, he was wrong for grabbing you, but you may never hear it from him. You need to just move on, change your locks, and every time he calls you tell him to talk to his lawyer, that is all you need to say.<p>Take care and I will email you soon.<p>ANNA

thinker,<p>This may sound bizarre, but get the mold taken care of in your home right away! Fix the problem, don't just pour Clorox on it.<p>Why take care of the mold? I worked in a medical clinic that dealt with environmental problems such as this. Molds can be very unhealthy, affect your brain, make you irratable, sleepy, cause pain in your body, and a miriad of other symptoms. Now I 'm not saying that is going to solve all your problems, it wont but it may be a start. Molds could be affecting all of you & yet have no idea what affect it can have.<p>I've seen first hand people improve not just physical health but mental health once mold was cleaned up, and yes even relationships when they felt better. Your mind is not disconnected to your body.<p>email me if you want more info - technical or otherwise. <p>I am sorry that you have had so much going on. It hurts and I know first hand. Please don't just discard what I've written, it can make a difference.

Thinker,<p>I don't come over here often and I had not realized so much has happened. U could have called me. You still can. <p>Your life is important. Remember you said that to me last year. REmember? U helped me through me desparate hour of need. I will be here for you whenever you need and you have good support here also. <p>Refocus Thinker. Life's cards may appear to be stacked against you but here are some very wise words: ......"he will make a way out for you to 'endure' it". This is a partial quote the encouragement here is to endure. <p>Yes you have been hit with a lot of tragedy in a short period of time. But you will survive though it. While some around you are not as strong, give them what they can handle. If they can not handle the talk, talk here. Let them handle other things. Let your kids do more of the work around the home. They are old enough. Once given direction, they should not need you both around overseeing every step. Let them make some of the creative and cleanup decisions. Step back and let them do the heavy work. It is good for their character. <p>You know this, now implement. <p>Hugz,
L.

Yes, you all are saying the right things? I did call my psychiatrist, I feel I need to see someone everyother day. So I am going to switch, he costs $160/hr. Will call him when I get back, and have a lot of things to get done to the house before we can sell it. First and farmost like stated above, the MOLD!!! I will take this in my hands, and ask above for advice. I have been b*t*hing about this for years and years, and SNL didn't do anything about it, just told me to scrub the mold off. Well, I think it is beyond disaster, I think it is killing us, with all the mold in that bathrooms, and the other 2 rooms. Will be taken care of with help from you above. <p>I get so low, so lonely, want someone to talk to intimately with. Need hugs, and need time. Don't know if I will make it through, can't seem to talk with SNL, all he wants to talk about is the divorce and relationship stuff. All he has wanted to talk about for the last 2 years. <p>SNL keeps telling me that I am wasting our money with my lawyer. He wasted $7000 with his OW. Cause she said I don't have the money. And what did he get for his $7000, probably (STD) and got dumped. <p>Yes, SNL is still controlling, me and his mother. We have to stand up to him, and I am going to do exactly that when I get back home. He is not going to tell me what I can and cannot do. I got the lawyer by myself, and signed those papers with many many tears, and sobbing by myself. WH probably laughed and chuckled when he signed. Talking to him he chuckles about the OW, about things that are ridiculous. See he is happy, and laughing. <p>There are so many things to do, and I feel like I should be there to get things done. SNL comes into the house everyday. Told me last night, it is his house too. I said when I get back I want to go to his house to see what he took. Said NO!!!
If have to can get order from lawyer, he told me so. <p>Anyways, I don't know what type of Lawyer SNL hired to use. We will see what happens. <p>I still love SNL, and this is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. This is harder than giving birth, you know when the baby comes out the pain is gone, and you have this God given baby. This pain has lasted for almost 2 years, and continues to pain. Now that SNL physically hurt me, that pain too. <p>I am going to take one step at a time. Did a little shopping down here, got a few things, not much, cause not in the mood. Had a marvelous dinner with daughter, we both had special of the day, fresh Maui maui fish, tomato salad, eel shushi, then we went next door to the Cheesecake Factory - that was soooo.... Good. I got Charlies carrot cheesecake, and it was yummy. I paid for it later, but I have a stomach that has been upset and hurting for months now. That is why I don't eat much. <p>Anyways, I get really down, and Orchid I will call when I get home. Didn't bring # with me. But to see your post helps too. Thanks, this is hard. Wish SNL would see the light, and end this misery.

I was interested by the mould comments above.....so may times when we are married we expect the other person do so certain jobs, and get annoyed and irritated because these people will either not fix stuff, or do it in their own time.<p>One of the big positves for me is that I do not have to try and get stbx to fix the broken bed, move something, mow the lawn, etc, etc. I do it myself, and feel far happier. I have learned to do a lot of things I previously left to him. I wish I had just done it myself in the marriage, but then I guess this would also have caused resentment.<p>Take heart, thinker, things are finally going to get done at your house......okay not by snl, but you will get satisfaction from having organised it yourself.<p>Love and light,<p>Jacky

Thinker,<p>I would like to meet with you. I will send you an email in a minute. Do you have access to your account where you are?<p>We don't have an itinerary yet. I will discuss it further with my H and see if we can set something up.<p>Hoping

Well, tonight was a disrespectful night with SNL. Our 2nd daughter called to say thank you for the little gift I got her and sent to her at home. She and I talked, asked how I am feeling, told her the truth, not good, but trying to hold on till Sunday. Don't tell her much of my feelings, did once or twice, but that is not right. She needs to have a young life without all this crap. Told her I am quite sad, she did get me to laugh, then told me about the distress. She said the boys are giving her a hard time with their chores. I talked to young son, he said he will cooperate. Talked to older son, same manipulation as ever. So I talked to SNL and asked him to help get chores completed. States to me there is nothing he can do, they don't listen to him either. Our daughter at home has to feed the horses in the morning, let them out in the pasture, clean the stalls, feed the horses at night and bring them in. Plus do her chores, She goes to college for spring term, is doing the laundry, making sure the house is trying to stay clean. She and her friend cleaned up the yard Sunday, she said they worked all day on it and it looks nice. I told her am happy for that and the concern. SNL by the way did very little yard work outside our whole marriage, didn't like gardening, I cut the grass until one of the kids was old enough. Shoveled most of snow, was shoveling being pregnant. SNL hates doing any yard work. Has dreams of a nice yard, but doesn't do it, wants someone else to do it and keep the yard up. He never cut the grass at the house we have, kids always did it, and if I wasn't around, wouldn't attempt to make sure it was cut.<p>I am trying very hard to concentrate on myself. But like Anna said is hard, and all these years together 24 years. SNL doesn't seem to have any good thoughts or memories about our marriage. This is so sad, and I feel there is something mentally wrong with him. The way he speaks, he orders instead of dealing with the issues in a nice tone, and kind of soothing words. Expressed to him today, cause the way he talks to me is so hard and coarse. He says he is happy with himself, said I am okay with that, but I am not okay with his attitude about family, balistic atttitude he has, selfishness he has, not caring, not loving, just being everything for himself. This hurts, and I know the kids are hurt.<p>Talked to him today that I will get the son who received the sexual e-mail on his printer that SNL sent to wrong printer. Psychiatrist told me about a month ago, that he needs to see a counselor. This was probably difficult for him, and that is why our son wanted to hit dad when he read it. SNL of course says he talked to son about emotions, feelings, etc. I feel son needs emotional help, SNL does not see it that way. Of course will cost money, but the damage was done by father, and it needs to be resolved. I am getting the feeling that I will have to do everything to fix everything. Seems SNL is just letting everything go. <p>Stated to me today, I need to find a job. Told him I would work for him for $500/week, a couple of weeks ago. With a regular paycheck. Told me today that he is looking into someone taking the calls for me, at $600/week. Does this make sense, or what. I said I would work for him with a paycheck, but he said NO!. But he would rather give the money to someone else. There are other issues that are showing SNL to be irrational, and mentally unstable. I am getting so worried, and it makes me want to get on a plane right now and leave. My kids are hurting, and SNL doesn't seem to care. GOD why are you letting this happen? GOD please help us now?

Hmmm

This is going to be a ugly situation. Just talked to SNL and he wants me to forget about my lawyer and go to mediation, and get this over with. Now, does that tell anyone that they care, or that they are concerned for their spouse. This is so unreal. He stated to me that he is going to do what he wants, and no lawyer is going to tell him what to do. How do I handle that? <p>You guys, SNl said that many of you thought what he said was right. That many of you looked to him for advice. That many of you respected his words. That many of you disagreed with him, and found him to be right. Not much I could say about that.<p>He literally hangs up on me, tells me we are going to talk about divorce when I get home. I just told him that I will talk to my lawyer first. Said, he will protect me, states that my lawyer is for the money. Says his lawyer knows my lawyer and says he is out for the money. SNL seems to always consider my actions as failures. Tells me why waste money on lawyers, what abuot college, etc. Well he didn't seem to be concerned about the $7000 he spent on the Other Woman. But now I am suppose to be more thrifty, and follow his path. No way. I am going to follow the path of my lawyer, and do what someone will do right for me. SNL doesn't care about me, stated tonight that he doesn't care about the kids. Once again, the negative statements. You guys, I don't know what in the H*LL he is doing anymore. He is a maniac, threatening me with words, and trying to manipulate me with words. When will he ever be convinceedd that he has done severe damage to all of us, and he is showing coerce and manipulation to all of us.<p>I am thinking of getting a PPO out on him. Will talk to my lawyer. I don't want to be left in a room with him anymore. This is so SSAADD!!! I don't want to be left alone in a room with my husband. GOD HELP ME!