This subject was listed on my home page: It concerned a study that followed 73 newlywed couples for 13 yrs and periodically interviewed them on which leisure activities they like and disliked.<p>First, when couples participated together in activities that both enjoyed, the husbands reported beinh happier both 2 and 13 yrs into the marriage.<p>Second, couples who participated together in activities that only one spouse liked were less happy both 2 yrs and 13 yrs later. The wives were less happy early in the marriage and became less happy with their marriage over time when couples spent more time together in leisure activities that only the husbands liked.<p>The report concluded "not suprisingly, it appears that women in marriage may be more willing to "give" even when it means their later dissatisfaction.<p>"Interestingly, wives also reported less marital satisfaction over time even if their husbands pursued the disliked activities on their own."<p>"We found the association between companionship and satisfaction is less robust than previously believed, and that it depends on how often spouses pursue activities that reflect their own and their partner's leisure preferences."<p>Full report is in May issue of Journal of Marriage and Family.<p>To me this seems like a big DUH! Isn't recreational needs usually a bigger EN for men than women? Don't the g/f usually go along at first and then after marriage the guy keeps on doing whatever and the wife quits coming.

Statistically invalid sample BUT:<p>At my O30 soccer games, about 20% of the wives showed up, if that. Roster size about 20,
that would be 5, usually with the kids in the carriage or running around on the playground nearby.<p>at my O40 soccer games, about 5 percent of the wives show up, unless we are having a cookout afterward. . . . that would be 1 Wife, and she is a blast to have there! she heckles us and the ref as well as keeps unofficial time.<p>at the O50 soccer games, have yet to see one W.<p>now the Ws would be spectators and not players, but that is a minor point. . . . <p>and in conclusion, none of the Wives stay around for the beer consumption afterwards. . . and the H of the W there usually doesn't stay long. . .<p>not certain how other sports rank. . . . .
although sports is probably the biggest male recreational activity. . . <p>skiing is one where the W and H can do it together fairly equally and together. . . . as is tennis.<p>But we are at a cross roads here in that for my generation, mid 40's there are few women playing sports. . . however, last week my O40 soccer game was followed by a woman's game, made up of mostly O20 college players, which was the first time i have seen that in 14 years of playing. . .<p>times will be changing! however, I did play last summer in a social league where ther had to be 1/3 of the players had to be women, and they were mostly recent college grads, (and some were very, very good!)<p>and BTW, I put in to ref the women in the summer games! just to keep in shape [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>wiftty<p>[ May 13, 2002: Message edited by: WhenIfindthetime ]</p>

Well,it's not just the wives that check out...<p>When my ex and I first met, I played city league v-ball, softball, did theatre, loved going to movies, etc.<p>He came to an occasional game, helped build a set or two and took me to the movies often.<p>Flash forward 15 years...<p>none...zilch....nada...and it had been that way for a very long time...in fact, he was so busy doing his own thing - I gave up all of those activities so that the children had at least one parent taking care of them...<p>Sad that it took a divorce court to get me back on the v-ball court.<p>Lisa

Tom,
I've seen probably the same thing with softball. When X and first got married she went to all the games and sat with all the other w's. As the years progressed and kids came along, the number of w's diminished. My x wasn't into much except singing at church.<p>I guess after the kids were born I stopped going to listen to her sing as she always sang at the early service and it was a pain getting two little ones up and ready early Sun morning. <p>I guess when it becomes an inconvience or no fun, then neither spouse is interested.

Hmm. I wonder how much of a factor children are in this dynamic.<p>I went with my wife to most of "her" things all through our marriage, but we don't have kids.

It probably plays a big factor. Its is a pain to chase after the kids, try to keep the quiet and do everything yourself when you are away from home. So it is basically just easier to stay home with the kids.

x and I used to ice skate. After 1st child, he slacked off. Took a big, for me, USFSA skating test (w/ international level judges} one time and he wouldn't come to be there for me.

kids play a big part, i drag mine to my games, and they play together, or sometimes OS is the AR, and then I play with them at half time, and afterwards. . .<p>they love the picnics if we have them. . .<p>but I have to hold together, playing with some of the X professionals and x semi pro players is hard on the body. . .<p>was unable to walk sunday. . . . needed crutches. . <p>wiftty